"Farming kids out"

[Anonymous]

OP, I've read at least 3 of your responses so far. It seems that you have a lot of time to be hanging out on DCUM today. Did you farm your kids out for this? Also, do you really consider allowing your children to spend quality time with family members farming them out? How old are your children? This may be part of the issue. DD is 6 months and I wouldn't dream of spending a night without her. Once she reaches a year, DH have already discussed taking a weekend trip while she stays with her grandparents. We are also moving to a new home. DD will be with a friend for the day so we can get settled. Do you consider these examples farming out? Don't you and your hubby ever get a date night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Some honest responses who don't have to resort to name calling, thanks (seriously). I really appreciate the resourceful parents who have the capacity to explain things - you must be great (and patient) parents! What if we don't have family in the area?

Join the club. Many do not have family in the area. Many seem to be able to parent their children Just Fine without family in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for the compliment! I would tell you my credentials, but that might give me away (if I know anyone on here). I have advanced degrees, so never thought of myself (nor have ever been called) stupid. But, by all means, thanks!

I guess the concept of "farming out" is foreign to me. We would certainly have a big family with the "farming out" option! I was under the impression that not only is no question stupid (nor am I); but also this would be the forum to ask parenting questions. Silly me.

Does anyone have any intelligent input or are my expectations just too high? You could keep insulting me, but that does not address a simple question. To me, the answers are not so obvious. Pardon me.

Your expectations are not too high. Your opinion of yourself is way too high. You are baiting your audience, and either you are too dumb or too dishonest to acknowledge that. Were your question honest, you would have written it in neutral terms, which you did not. And apparently your advanced degrees did not include grammar or composition, because your initial post was incoherent. Sadly, you are not all that you think you are. Otherwise I would check back to see your response. But you're not, so I won't. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for the compliment! I would tell you my credentials, but that might give me away (if I know anyone on here). I have advanced degrees, so never thought of myself (nor have ever been called) stupid. But, by all means, thanks!

I guess the concept of "farming out" is foreign to me. We would certainly have a big family with the "farming out" option! I was under the impression that not only is no question stupid (nor am I); but also this would be the forum to ask parenting questions. Silly me.

Does anyone have any intelligent input or are my expectations just too high? You could keep insulting me, but that does not address a simple question. To me, the answers are not so obvious. Pardon me.

How is the concept of "farming out" foreign to you? Someone with an advanced degree should have enough common sense to understand the term and realize that it is applied to many situations - in the business world as well as at home.

Families have been pitching in to care for children for centuries. You are trying to tell us that someone how that fact escaped you.

Please, please don't share your credentials. That would be scary to find out someone with actual credentials would be so dense.

BTW there are stupid questions.

[Anonymous]

I repeatedly have tried to farm my DCs out but have not met much success. Grandparents keep returning them at the end of a fun weekend and the school system returns them to me at the end of the school day -- gee whiz, what am I paying taxes for? If anyone is better at farming out that I am, please share your tips here. At least this thread would become useful.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha, good one 22:18. I've met with the same issues - I can only farm my kids out for so long (and only once to a sleepover). And I have family in the area! There must be something totally wrong with me.

I normally wouldn't feed the troll, but I suspect that our dense, incomprehensible OP bought her graduate degree on the internets.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

PP - I see what you're saying!

It's really important for people here to insult others, isn't it? Aren't academic and professional smarts seperate from what might be intuitive ("common sense") to you?

Aren't you saying I'm not as "good" (whatever that means) as you because I'm asking a question?

Wow, it's really important for some of you to get off the subject, huh?

I really appreciate the positive people thus far. They are really quite helpful. Where would I find a good nanny that would do odd hours? Everyone I've looked into is only interested in full time, 9-5 type hours.

Perhaps it hasn't occurred to me to have free time since we don't have family in the area. But I know the parents who do have family in the area must be so grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for the compliment! I would tell you my credentials, but that might give me away (if I know anyone on here). I have advanced degrees, so never thought of myself (nor have ever been called) stupid. But, by all means, thanks!

I guess the concept of "farming out" is foreign to me. We would certainly have a big family with the "farming out" option! I was under the impression that not only is no question stupid (nor am I); but also this would be the forum to ask parenting questions. Silly me.

Does anyone have any intelligent input or are my expectations just too high? You could keep insulting me, but that does not address a simple question. To me, the answers are not so obvious. Pardon me.

So wait.... you spend 24/7 with your children and never go to anything without them (personal or otherwise)? You take them with you everywhere and never hire a babysitter or send kids to preschool/daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for the compliment! I would tell you my credentials, but that might give me away (if I know anyone on here). I have advanced degrees, so never thought of myself (nor have ever been called) stupid. But, by all means, thanks!

I guess the concept of "farming out" is foreign to me. We would certainly have a big family with the "farming out" option! I was under the impression that not only is no question stupid (nor am I); but also this would be the forum to ask parenting questions. Silly me.

Does anyone have any intelligent input or are my expectations just too high? You could keep insulting me, but that does not address a simple question. To me, the answers are not so obvious. Pardon me.

Your expectations are not too high. Your opinion of yourself is way too high. You are baiting your audience, and either you are too dumb or too dishonest to acknowledge that. Were your question honest, you would have written it in neutral terms, which you did not. And apparently your advanced degrees did not include grammar or composition, because your initial post was incoherent. Sadly, you are not all that you think you are. Otherwise I would check back to see your response. But you're not, so I won't. Bye.

OF COURSE they're not going to acknowledge that! Do you think there are smarter trolls with more integrity out there, posting things like, "OK, I'm a troll here, but I was just wondering about something. Hmm, what could it be. Oh, I've got one. Some of my friends farm out their kids and blah blah blah thanks for reading my post."

[Anonymous]

OP: If you do want some time off from the kids, here are some things to consider.

Find some good babysitters--possibly college students or, depending on the age of your children, high schoolers. Ask neighbors or members of your church/temple/club, post on your neighborhood list-serv.

Get to know your kids' friends. Figure out if there are any who'd be willing to trade a few hours of babysitting here and there or could do drop-off playdates.

Look into preschool programs (if your kids are 2-4)

If you're married, set up a schedule with your spouse so that you get a break.

If your family lives elsewhere, try to take advantage of their visits. Would they be willing to watch the kids for an afternoon? Overnight?

Don't call it farming out. That sounds offensive in this context. What you're looking for is occasional babysitting.

farm out
Verb
1. to send (work) to be done by another person or firm
2. (of the state) to put a child into the care of a private individual

How a

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Get to know your kids' friends.

That should be kids' friends parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

PP - I see what you're saying!

It's really important for people here to insult others, isn't it? Aren't academic and professional smarts seperate from what might be intuitive ("common sense") to you?

Aren't you saying I'm not as "good" (whatever that means) as you because I'm asking a question?

Wow, it's really important for some of you to get off the subject, huh?

I really appreciate the positive people thus far. They are really quite helpful. Where would I find a good nanny that would do odd hours? Everyone I've looked into is only interested in full time, 9-5 type hours.

Perhaps it hasn't occurred to me to have free time since we don't have family in the area. But I know the parents who do have family in the area must be so grateful.

I'm very confused by this and your original post:

I'm a SAHM and feel surrounded by people who want to put their kids last. Almost all have family in the area, or friends who have "transplanted" with them from other areas. Most seem willing to farm out their kids at any cost, even if it means (presumably) swallowing their pride or living WAY beyond their means. What am I doing wrong here? I thought I would enjoy DC while they are little?

What do you mean by "putting kids last?" Getting a babysitter? Not getting a babysitter?

Like you, many of us don't have free-time. But it sounds like you have very well-behaved kids such that you don't NEED the free time, am I right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

PP - I see what you're saying!

It's really important for people here to insult others, isn't it? Aren't academic and professional smarts seperate from what might be intuitive ("common sense") to you?

Aren't you saying I'm not as "good" (whatever that means) as you because I'm asking a question?

Wow, it's really important for some of you to get off the subject, huh?

I really appreciate the positive people thus far. They are really quite helpful. Where would I find a good nanny that would do odd hours? Everyone I've looked into is only interested in full time, 9-5 type hours.
Perhaps it hasn't occurred to me to have free time since we don't have family in the area. But I know the parents who do have family in the area must be so grateful.

This is what is referred to as a babysitter. You need a babysitter.

However, don't listen to me. I put myself first and farm my children out to their grandparents (who don't live here) for 2 weeks at their beach house, while DH and I reconnect. My poor neglected children get to see their grandparents and build awesome memories.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am confused by your first post (which decries "farming kids out" to others because you want to "enjoy" them) and your recent posts (which sound like you want to get a nanny/babysitter/caretaker). I don't know if your expectations are unreasonable because I can't figure out what your expectations ARE. It is hard to be helpful, which is probably why you have gotten so many snarky posts.

[Anonymous]

From birth to age 18 my mother left us with relatives overnight only twice -- when she was giving birth to my younger siblings. Her family was not in-state and she felt unable to trust anyone else.