Feeling sad and sick to my stomach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. For God's sake, OP. I thought you'd already seen a developmental pediatrician. Your kid isn't as unique as you think. Go to Children's or KKI. Dancing around the issue isn't going to help him or you. It sounds like you're putting it off b/c you're trying to avoid a diagnosis.

In the end, it's the pretty much the same therapies--OT, ST, social skills groups, maybe meds. You will get a thorough evaluation at KKI or Children's for either a neuropsych or developmental pediatrician.

Did you even read her post? They have an ADHD diagnosis.

I did but I wonder how long ago that she saw a developmental pediatrician. I don't understand the hemming and hawing about additional testing. She wants "affordable" then go with insurance through KKI or Childrens.

Her post is very unclear. It sounds like they are under some kind of care for the ADHD. They are doing a trial of medications for that. Anything they have been experiencing can potentially be explained by ADHD. But she is really worried about her son has cognitive issues.

Exactly, and that is why to go. He can confirm or deny ADHD but he cannot medicate. He can take a look at the cognitive concerns and see if past language issues play a part in it. That is why someone who is very skilled at nonverbal is best in case language is impacting it. He will take the time to look at everything including observing behaviors. He pointed out stuff we knew (more interesting, good) that my kid was doing that other evaluators never picked up on. He is good at not only testing but looking at the actual child during testing as part of the testing. It is not just lets sit in a chair and anwser questions. He'll even get on the floor, play and do all kids of things to get kids to cooperate. He brought out my child's personality very quickly.

I though he might be a quack, for lack of better terms, like others here. He isn't anything like some think he is. He is good for getting the one time questions answered and guidance especially for younger kids. I had my reservations before going, but like OP and most who go, her title is why we go. You are very worried. She sound she like she has be to several specialists and child is in services and still not sure. That is when you go. At 6-7, then you do the neuro evaluation recommended on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. For God's sake, OP. I thought you'd already seen a developmental pediatrician. Your kid isn't as unique as you think. Go to Children's or KKI. Dancing around the issue isn't going to help him or you. It sounds like you're putting it off b/c you're trying to avoid a diagnosis.

In the end, it's the pretty much the same therapies--OT, ST, social skills groups, maybe meds. You will get a thorough evaluation at KKI or Children's for either a neuropsych or developmental pediatrician.

Did you even read her post? They have an ADHD diagnosis.

I did but I wonder how long ago that she saw a developmental pediatrician. I don't understand the hemming and hawing about additional testing. She wants "affordable" then go with insurance through KKI or Childrens.

Her post is very unclear. It sounds like they are under some kind of care for the ADHD. They are doing a trial of medications for that. Anything they have been experiencing can potentially be explained by ADHD. But she is really worried about her son has cognitive issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been told by a couple of professionals that our son may have a cognitive delay, and I've posted about it before. It's not clear because he has severe ADHD and he had a receptive language delay which has abated. He's almost five. When he was there, the dev ped noted a possible six month cognitive delay but said it could be due to fine motor deficits. He did not qualify for child fund until 4, and they found cognitive delays, but he did not cooperate at all. He is thriving in pep, and is apparently in the top group academically, fwiw. He's good at numbers and letters. He can write his name. He is conversational. He's extremely defiant and I don't know if it's because he does not understand sometimes. He's okay on self help, can dress himself other than his shirt, toileting is good. He can ride a bike with trainers and swim. So in a lot of ways, he's doing well. but his behavior is often so odd that it makes me think he must be cognitively delayed. Socially he does things to annoy people and just weird stuff like will bite something or when at a bounce house will spend the whole time trying to climb up the slide, bite the puck for the hockey thing, just crazy weird shi$. Part of the issue is we are not going to know until we can do a neuropaych and I don't want to do one until he is 7, because he has had delays that have normalized.

Did anyone have a similar child? I'm just tired of worrying about this. I know I'm not going to know for sure for years but given that we know he's not autistic I'm not sure what other explanations there are for his weird behavior. And we have done and are doing ot and ABA and speech.

If you have an ADHD diagnosis and you're only concerned about cognitive issues (and for the record a kid who knows his numbers and letters and can write his name at this age sounds like he might not really have one at all much less a severe one) you can get private testing just for IQ and it can run you only a few hundred dollars. Have them run something like DAS which is better for kids with developmental delays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been told by a couple of professionals that our son may have a cognitive delay, and I've posted about it before. It's not clear because he has severe ADHD and he had a receptive language delay which has abated. He's almost five. When he was there, the dev ped noted a possible six month cognitive delay but said it could be due to fine motor deficits. He did not qualify for child fund until 4, and they found cognitive delays, but he did not cooperate at all. He is thriving in pep, and is apparently in the top group academically, fwiw. He's good at numbers and letters. He can write his name. He is conversational. He's extremely defiant and I don't know if it's because he does not understand sometimes. He's okay on self help, can dress himself other than his shirt, toileting is good. He can ride a bike with trainers and swim. So in a lot of ways, he's doing well. but his behavior is often so odd that it makes me think he must be cognitively delayed. Socially he does things to annoy people and just weird stuff like will bite something or when at a bounce house will spend the whole time trying to climb up the slide, bite the puck for the hockey thing, just crazy weird shi$. Part of the issue is we are not going to know until we can do a neuropaych and I don't want to do one until he is 7, because he has had delays that have normalized.

Did anyone have a similar child? I'm just tired of worrying about this. I know I'm not going to know for sure for years but given that we know he's not autistic I'm not sure what other explanations there are for his weird behavior. And we have done and are doing ot and ABA and speech.

If you have an ADHD diagnosis and you're only concerned about cognitive issues (and for the record a kid who knows his numbers and letters and can write his name at this age sounds like he might not really have one at all much less a severe one) you can get private testing just for IQ and it can run you only a few hundred dollars. Have them run something like DAS which is better for kids with developmental delays.

But, who can do that for her for a few hundred and take the time to engage the child so he cooperates? It sounds like she could also use a good psychiatrist to understands medications and young kids.

[Anonymous]

When a little kid is diagnosed with a "six month cognitive delay" that's a meaningless diagnosis. There's no test for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know kids with ADHD who have similar behaviors. It's attention getting. Often. Or just not knowing how to engage socially. These behaviors seem fairly usual to me for a 5 yo with some SN. (I realize that doesn't make them easier to deal with.) I liked Russell Barkley's books on parenting kids with ADHD. It doesn't mean he is cognitively delayed, but social skill delays can impact other areas.

Great post, PP... very well said.
My 9 year old DS has ADHD & it seems everything he does is for attention.
It doesn't matter if it's positive attention or negative attention, attention is attention to him. He says classmates use the word "annoying" most with him,

He wants SO badly to be liked & so he'll do things that he THINKS will make him cool or make a lot of friends (like brag about something that he has, or shows off a skill he has) which we all know accomplishes the exact opposite of what he hopes to do & actually turns people off instead of liking him.

It's like he can't get out of his own way.

No matter how many times I try & explain it to him, it's like it goes in one ear & out the other & when he's just being himself, he is THE funniest kid I've ever met, but when he tries to be someone he's not, it comes across fake, disingenuous & well, awkward.

We were in the car with a friend of his the other day & the boy was bragging about how he got these $800 VR goggles for Christmas & a Sony somethingorother & after we dropped him off, I said to my son "how did that make you feel when Larlo was talking about all the stuff he got?" & he said "it wasn't cool that he was bragging like that, I didn't like it and I couldn't wait for him to get out of the car". So I explained to him that's how other kids perceive him when he does it too... he definitely understood after that. That situation made a better impact than any of the 500 ways I've tried to explain it to him before.

I looked online & YouTube to see if there were any helpful role playing videos that showed kids bragging or showing off (remember Goofus & Glalant from Highlights magazine?) I was looking for something similar to that in a video version (like the instructional Stranger Danger videos) as it seemed it really sunk in when he got to see first hand for himself how it looks to others.
Does anyone know of anything like that? I think it could help the OP as well, let them see how their behavior is perceived by their classmates & friends.

I love my son so much & it absolutely breaks my heart to see how much he wants to be liked, just to have him self sabotage anything that could be a real friendship.
Hi sister said to me the other day "I wish I could just go to school as him for one day & fix all of his friendships".

All suggestions & ideas are very much appreciated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. For God's sake, OP. I thought you'd already seen a developmental pediatrician. Your kid isn't as unique as you think. Go to Children's or KKI. Dancing around the issue isn't going to help him or you. It sounds like you're putting it off b/c you're trying to avoid a diagnosis.

In the end, it's the pretty much the same therapies--OT, ST, social skills groups, maybe meds. You will get a thorough evaluation at KKI or Children's for either a neuropsych or developmental pediatrician.

Did you even read her post? They have an ADHD diagnosis.

I did but I wonder how long ago that she saw a developmental pediatrician. I don't understand the hemming and hawing about additional testing. She wants "affordable" then go with insurance through KKI or Childrens.

Her post is very unclear. It sounds like they are under some kind of care for the ADHD. They are doing a trial of medications for that. Anything they have been experiencing can potentially be explained by ADHD. But she is really worried about her son has cognitive issues.

Exactly, and that is why to go. He can confirm or deny ADHD but he cannot medicate. He can take a look at the cognitive concerns and see if past language issues play a part in it. That is why someone who is very skilled at nonverbal is best in case language is impacting it. He will take the time to look at everything including observing behaviors. He pointed out stuff we knew (more interesting, good) that my kid was doing that other evaluators never picked up on. He is good at not only testing but looking at the actual child during testing as part of the testing. It is not just lets sit in a chair and anwser questions. He'll even get on the floor, play and do all kids of things to get kids to cooperate. He brought out my child's personality very quickly.

I though he might be a quack, for lack of better terms, like others here. He isn't anything like some think he is. He is good for getting the one time questions answered and guidance especially for younger kids. I had my reservations before going, but like OP and most who go, her title is why we go. You are very worried. She sound she like she has be to several specialists and child is in services and still not sure. That is when you go. At 6-7, then you do the neuro evaluation recommended on here.

If you are sick with worry, the Camaratas are a good place to go for very young kids. They have so much professional and personal experience working with the special needs population and in testing.

I first took my son when he was 5 to Dr. Camarata. We'd been to multiple specialists and no one could really tell us what was going on. My child has an unusual profile that doesn't fit any any diagnostic box easily. Dr. Camarata had a much better read on my child extremely quickly. He told me things about my child that were true, and that I had never told anyone. He also filled me in on a great deal that I didn't understand about my own child, and that none of those "professionals" actually told us. Our lives were better immediately thanks to his coaching about how to work with our son, and how to address his school needs.

My son's receptive disability turned out to be longer lasting and more serious that Dr. Camarata originally hoped (we've seen him several times) but his understanding of various testing and his willingness to spend hours with us on the testing details and results and hours with my son getting to know him has made a huge difference in our son's life.

We recently let the school district do nonverbal IQ testing with our child -- we'd always insisted they used Dr. Camarata's testing results showing my child had an average score, and they were always skeptical. Well, turns out the school was right to be skeptical about Dr. Camarata's IQ testing, I guess: My son's nonverbal IQ and reasoning skills test scores were actually even higher than Dr. Camarata's testing showed.

It was a delicious moment, going over those excellent results with district officials who have always tried to marginalize my son and de-legitimize Dr. Camarata's expertise. I never would have had the courage to fight so hard on my child's behalf without Dr. Camarata's steadfast belief in my child's potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any good private neuropsychologist can and will administer non-verbal IQ tests for a child with OP's son's profile. So there are options locally too.

Then, maybe you can recommend someone who is really good with ADHD, receptive language issues and behavioral challenges at a reasonable cost?

Op here - I've actually been thinking of going to the camatras for this exact reason. It's a difficult profile and I think they are the experts in this. Thank you.

I love the Camarata's. They are extremely knowledgeable and helpful. We had an assessment done by Mary and she was so spot on. Very much worth the trip for us. Nashville is a cool kid friendly city and we stayed in a very affordable air bnb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know kids with ADHD who have similar behaviors. It's attention getting. Often. Or just not knowing how to engage socially. These behaviors seem fairly usual to me for a 5 yo with some SN. (I realize that doesn't make them easier to deal with.) I liked Russell Barkley's books on parenting kids with ADHD. It doesn't mean he is cognitively delayed, but social skill delays can impact other areas.

Great post, PP... very well said.
My 9 year old DS has ADHD & it seems everything he does is for attention.
It doesn't matter if it's positive attention or negative attention, attention is attention to him. He says classmates use the word "annoying" most with him,

He wants SO badly to be liked & so he'll do things that he THINKS will make him cool or make a lot of friends (like brag about something that he has, or shows off a skill he has) which we all know accomplishes the exact opposite of what he hopes to do & actually turns people off instead of liking him.

It's like he can't get out of his own way.

No matter how many times I try & explain it to him, it's like it goes in one ear & out the other & when he's just being himself, he is THE funniest kid I've ever met, but when he tries to be someone he's not, it comes across fake, disingenuous & well, awkward.

We were in the car with a friend of his the other day & the boy was bragging about how he got these $800 VR goggles for Christmas & a Sony somethingorother & after we dropped him off, I said to my son "how did that make you feel when Larlo was talking about all the stuff he got?" & he said "it wasn't cool that he was bragging like that, I didn't like it and I couldn't wait for him to get out of the car". So I explained to him that's how other kids perceive him when he does it too... he definitely understood after that. That situation made a better impact than any of the 500 ways I've tried to explain it to him before.

I looked online & YouTube to see if there were any helpful role playing videos that showed kids bragging or showing off (remember Goofus & Glalant from Highlights magazine?) I was looking for something similar to that in a video version (like the instructional Stranger Danger videos) as it seemed it really sunk in when he got to see first hand for himself how it looks to others.
Does anyone know of anything like that? I think it could help the OP as well, let them see how their behavior is perceived by their classmates & friends.

I love my son so much & it absolutely breaks my heart to see how much he wants to be liked, just to have him self sabotage anything that could be a real friendship.
Hi sister said to me the other day "I wish I could just go to school as him for one day & fix all of his friendships".

All suggestions & ideas are very much appreciated

My suggestion is start your own thread. Your concerns are very different than OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. For God's sake, OP. I thought you'd already seen a developmental pediatrician. Your kid isn't as unique as you think. Go to Children's or KKI. Dancing around the issue isn't going to help him or you. It sounds like you're putting it off b/c you're trying to avoid a diagnosis.

In the end, it's the pretty much the same therapies--OT, ST, social skills groups, maybe meds. You will get a thorough evaluation at KKI or Children's for either a neuropsych or developmental pediatrician.

We regularly see a dev ped, every three to six months. I have no idea what you're talking about. We will do a neuropsych when it is recommended, at 6-7. I also said absolutely nothing about affordability. We pay out of pocket now for ABA and for the dev ped as they are out of network.

[Anonymous]

Hi all - op here with an update. I like updates. We saw the Camaratas and got a normal range leiter score, I think 95-99. ADHD with severe impulsivity confirmed. Which makes me both somewhat relieved and worried. So that's where we are now. I'm ready to medicate the adhd to see how he reacts for k. But we've been told to wait by numerous sources and my husband wants to wait so we wait.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP! I understand your relief and worry. But, it's always easier with some answers and direction. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all - op here with an update. I like updates. We saw the Camaratas and got a normal range leiter score, I think 95-99. ADHD with severe impulsivity confirmed. Which makes me both somewhat relieved and worried. So that's where we are now. I'm ready to medicate the adhd to see how he reacts for k. But we've been told to wait by numerous sources and my husband wants to wait so we wait.

I'm one of the PPs who talked about my experience going to the Camaratas. I'm glad you made the trip at that you got some answers! And great news about the Leiter test.

I have a good friend whose child has ADHD. I had no idea how challenging this condition could be. It was rough for several years, but her child just started high school, they've found a good private school and he's starting really settle down and have friends, do his homework, make good grades, etc.

Good luck with everything!