does DIL sound mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What lack of grace, OP. "Can't wait to see you and Sally for Thanksgiving!" You didn't have to defend or explain, but wow...you could have so easily just said something warm and positive.

So this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess a lot of people don't understand that these kinds of pictures are taken all the time. Sometimes it's a line of multi-generation women, and other times it's a line of multi-generation men. The DIL was out of line and maybe she finally figured out that her child does not get called for every single family picture.

DIL's daughter is every bit as much of a part of a generational line of females as the other granddaughter.

How small of you, OP. It would have cost you nothing to simply reply, "Looking forward to my next visit with Little Larla!"

No, DIL's daughter is not part of that generational line and didn't belong in the picture.

+1

OP is right. DIL should take a photo with her grandparent, parent, herself, and her child. DIL is not OP's descendant.

DIL isn't a descendant and she didn't ask to be in the picture. But DIL's dd is OP's descendant -- she is Op's son's dd. It's clear that op only wanted a picture of her daughter and her daughter's dd. But she can't pretend that her son's daughter isn't one of her female relatives. It was rude for op to tell DIL to go take a picture with her mother -- I'm sure that DIL could care less about being in a picture with Op. The issue is that OP doesn't want any pictures with her son's daughter (aka her granddaughter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lack of grace, OP. "Can't wait to see you and Sally for Thanksgiving!" You didn't have to defend or explain, but wow...you could have so easily just said something warm and positive.

So this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess a lot of people don't understand that these kinds of pictures are taken all the time. Sometimes it's a line of multi-generation women, and other times it's a line of multi-generation men. The DIL was out of line and maybe she finally figured out that her child does not get called for every single family picture.

DIL's daughter is every bit as much of a part of a generational line of females as the other granddaughter.

How small of you, OP. It would have cost you nothing to simply reply, "Looking forward to my next visit with Little Larla!"

No, DIL's daughter is not part of that generational line and didn't belong in the picture.

+1

OP is right. DIL should take a photo with her grandparent, parent, herself, and her child. DIL is not OP's descendant.

DIL isn't a descendant and she didn't ask to be in the picture. But DIL's dd is OP's descendant -- she is Op's son's dd. It's clear that op only wanted a picture of her daughter and her daughter's dd. But she can't pretend that her son's daughter isn't one of her female relatives. It was rude for op to tell DIL to go take a picture with her mother -- I'm sure that DIL could care less about being in a picture with Op. The issue is that OP doesn't want any pictures with her son's daughter (aka her granddaughter).

This exactly. If the photo is titled "OP Family three generations of women", one woman is clearly left out; her sons daughter!

[Anonymous]

Well in my case, FIL did say he wanted only the women in his family in the picture and it was posted online at a genealogy website. So, yes I held it against him that he didn't include his only grandchild as a descendant. What else was I to think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lack of grace, OP. "Can't wait to see you and Sally for Thanksgiving!" You didn't have to defend or explain, but wow...you could have so easily just said something warm and positive.

So this.

+1

+2. OPs response is basically begging DIL to give up on fostering any relationship between her daughter and OP. "Go take a photo with your own mom"? Really?

[Anonymous]

If all else were equal, I doubt the picture would be an issue. Be honest with yourself op, is there a reason your dil might feel your dd's child is favored?

[Anonymous]

Oh, cling to your semantics and justifications, OP. What is there to lose? Just the opportunity to be closer to your granddaughter and her mother.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, when it comes to a picture like this, the daughter's daughter gets to be in it but the son's daughter doesn't belong. It follows the mitochondria and if you don't understand that, then you don't understand the picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, cling to your semantics and justifications, OP. What is there to lose? Just the opportunity to be closer to your granddaughter and her mother.

I don't think that's an opportunity OP is interested in. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, cling to your semantics and justifications, OP. What is there to lose? Just the opportunity to be closer to your granddaughter and her mother.

I don't think that's an opportunity OP is interested in. At all.

Well, by all means, OP can choose to be right and righteous rather than looking at this as a moment for grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lack of grace, OP. "Can't wait to see you and Sally for Thanksgiving!" You didn't have to defend or explain, but wow...you could have so easily just said something warm and positive.

So this.

+1

+2. OPs response is basically begging DIL to give up on fostering any relationship between her daughter and OP. "Go take a photo with your own mom"? Really?

Agreed! So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, when it comes to a picture like this, the daughter's daughter gets to be in it but the son's daughter doesn't belong. It follows the mitochondria and if you don't understand that, then you don't understand the picture.

.....that's a really unique definition of "generation."

OP might think she is right, but she has much more to lose here than does the DIL, so she could have been substantially more gracious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, cling to your semantics and justifications, OP. What is there to lose? Just the opportunity to be closer to your granddaughter and her mother.

I don't think that's an opportunity OP is interested in. At all.

Well, by all means, OP can choose to be right and righteous rather than looking at this as a moment for grace.

Telling DIL to buggar off and take a photo with her own mom shows OP has already made that choice.

[Anonymous]

My daughter also has a son. He was not in the picture either