The type who gets cheated on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Yup, PP is a sexually starved projector.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

OP here. Dude, everything you wrote could have been summarized in 1-3 (incorrect) sentences. Their sex life is great and I know because her DH used to turn my stomach by making references to how naughty his good wife could be. Ugh, that reminds me of another reason I don't like him. Imagining that super average bore of a man having sex always irritated DH and I. Has it really not occurred to you that good sex isn't enough?

Okay, back to reading the thread.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. Also blowing the cheating = bad/no sex nonsense out of the water is that I, myself, am a recovering cheater. It didn't matter how good a man was in bed, sex with him would quickly get boring to me. The same old guy couldn't do it for me more than a few times.

[Anonymous]

To ask about a type that gets cheated on implies there's something about the spouse that causes the cheating. Cheating is all about the cheater, and not their spouse. Anyone can get cheated on.

No two people can meet the others' needs perfectly all the time over a lifetime. The spouse is in the same marriage, with the same problems and doesn't choose to cheat. It's about the cheater's lack of character.

What holds a marriage together is being serious about the committment.

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't how she treats him it's who she picked. She picked a lousy creep of a guy.
Find out what her dad was like and how he treated her and her mother - you'll find answers there.

[Anonymous]

Female here-- been cheated on a lot and yes, I tend to be very sweet. I think in some cultures it is very acceptable for men to cheat. I also think some men do it because they think they will get away with it. None of the men I was with ever had a problem with our sex life and none of them ever wanted to break up after the cheating-- that was my decision. They were all also very surprised they got caught.

So while I think I pick poorly, I also think there are a lot of men out there who cheat and aren't getting caught.

[Anonymous]

Infidelity does not discriminate OP.

Your humble brag that you are not the type of person a guy would cheat on you is pretty clear even though I am paraphrasing here.
I can read between the lines here.

Even the most beautiful of women get cheated on.
The most talented, intelligent + charming.

There is no set module for what type of woman gets cheated on and who doesn't (apparently you.)

If there were, life would be simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cheated on my DH of 17 years. He is a really good guy, a good husband and a great father.

You are human garbage.

[Anonymous]

The guys who are cheating on sweet women while chasing after you would do the same to you. It's not really about the women. Don't be smug, it might bite you in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

OP here. Dude, everything you wrote could have been summarized in 1-3 (incorrect) sentences. Their sex life is great and I know because her DH used to turn my stomach by making references to how naughty his good wife could be[b]. Ugh, that reminds me of another reason I don't like him. Imagining that super average bore of a man having sex always irritated DH and I. Has it really not occurred to you that good sex isn't enough?

Okay, back to reading the thread.

That is really inappropriate. Was he hitting on you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To ask about a type that gets cheated on implies there's something about the spouse that causes the cheating. Cheating is all about the cheater, and not their spouse. Anyone can get cheated on.

No two people can meet the others' needs perfectly all the time over a lifetime. The spouse is in the same marriage, with the same problems and doesn't choose to cheat. It's about the cheater's lack of character.

What holds a marriage together is being serious about the commitment.

+1
You'd think this would have already been covered in depth with the 100 posts a day on this very topic, but no. People still seem to think there's some way you can cheat-proof your relationship. If you really want to cheat, you will. The same people who cheat, also get cheated on. It is almost always an issue with the cheater, not the cheatee. Accept that you're taking a risk that the person showering you with love today may very well shit on your head tomorrow. You cannot predict the future. All you can do is make sure you're doing your part in your relationship and hope that the other person holds up their end of the bargain as well. Yeesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Dude, everything you wrote could have been summarized in 1-3 (incorrect) sentences. Their sex life is great and I know because her DH used to turn my stomach by making references to how naughty his good wife could be[b]. Ugh, that reminds me of another reason I don't like him. Imagining that super average bore of a man having sex always irritated DH and I. Has it really not occurred to you that good sex isn't enough?

Okay, back to reading the thread.

That is really inappropriate. Was he hitting on you?

OP here. I don't think so. They're just one of those oversharing, try hard couples. She was always there when he would make such comments and she would grin as if he has just told her she looked beautiful or something.

[Anonymous]

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Some studies show men cheat when they feel emotionally disconnected, but if you read on these boards what happens when the sex dries up - men say they feel emotionally disconnected. A lack of sex is among the root causes of the emotional disconnect. Which is also why men don't leave their wives for APs. They aren't unhappy in the marriage, they are unhappy with the lack of sex. (other studies show the prime reason men cheat is for sex).

If you want to think there is no difference between the likelihood of a man cheating in a sexually fulfilling marriage or a man in a sexless marriage, go for it, it must provide you some comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Some studies show men cheat when they feel emotionally disconnected, but if you read on these boards what happens when the sex dries up - men say they feel emotionally disconnected. A lack of sex is among the root causes of the emotional disconnect. Which is also why men don't leave their wives for APs. They aren't unhappy in the marriage, they are unhappy with the lack of sex. (other studies show the prime reason men cheat is for sex).

If you want to think there is no difference between the likelihood of a man cheating in a sexually fulfilling marriage or a man in a sexless marriage, go for it, it must provide you some comfort.

It's still about the man. Would you be okay with your daughter's husband cheating on her and your grandchikdren?