The type who gets cheated on

[Anonymous]

I just learned that one of my friends' husbands is cheating. She is beyond devastated and I actually asked another friend to go over to her place because she sounds as if she might harm herself.

They were together for three years before marrying and have been married for a little over two years. She is a very devoted wife and was an adoring girlfriend. Everything he does is the best, everything he says is the funniest, and she is constantly complimenting him. Her Facebook is plastered with images of them together. For his part, he seems to just be a nice, average guy. Average height, average looks, average intelligence, okay sense of humor, average job. I don't see what is so amazing about him, but until now, he seemed hard working, genuinely loving, and good to her.

Anyway, in my experience, it seems women like my girlfriend are always getting cheated on. What's up with men that they can't seem to appreciate women who dote on them? I am happily married to a loving man, but doting isn't in my nature and I have a rather difficult personality. Men have always liked and stayed with me, even when I couldn't understand why -- even when I, myself, cheated (never cheated on DH but for some reason, he worries about it).

My already rather low opinion of the opposite sex isn't improving when I see that men mistreat sweet girls like my friend and chase emotionally distant borderline misandrists like me.

[Anonymous]

My ex wife cheated on me for an AP that cheated her terribly but told her a lot of BS. Even after I found out I was really nice to her and listened to her project all this negativity on me.

Point is. I like your theory and think it goes two ways.

[Anonymous]

*treated her.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is just women OP.

My husband's first wife cheated on him. If he treated her the way he treats me then she cheated on a man who was adoring, loving and devoted. Always thinking of others first.

[Anonymous]

I think shit happens. I have a cousin and friend who is stunningly beautiful. Think Italian model. All natural.

Her husband cheated on her and their two Kids's BOMB.

[Anonymous]

A pp here who's ex wife cheated. I realize really that it isn't so much about the cheated on person. It's the cheater who has emotional problems or is just a selfish jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A pp here who's ex wife cheated. I realize really that it isn't so much about the cheated on person. It's the cheater who has emotional problems or is just a selfish jerk.

Yes! I wasn't a doormat and I gave BJs happily as part of foreplay. Still got cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A pp here who's ex wife cheated. I realize really that it isn't so much about the cheated on person. It's the cheater who has emotional problems or is just a selfish jerk.

+1

Maybe people who find the best in people get cheated on more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A pp here who's ex wife cheated. I realize really that it isn't so much about the cheated on person. It's the cheater who has emotional problems or is just a selfish jerk.

+1

Maybe people who find the best in people get cheated on more.

Pp here. I've given this so much thought. I wonder if it's a chicken or egg thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just learned that one of my friends' husbands is cheating. She is beyond devastated and I actually asked another friend to go over to her place because she sounds as if she might harm herself.

They were together for three years before marrying and have been married for a little over two years. She is a very devoted wife and was an adoring girlfriend. Everything he does is the best, everything he says is the funniest, and she is constantly complimenting him. Her Facebook is plastered with images of them together. For his part, he seems to just be a nice, average guy. Average height, average looks, average intelligence, okay sense of humor, average job. I don't see what is so amazing about him, but until now, he seemed hard working, genuinely loving, and good to her.

Anyway, in my experience, it seems women like my girlfriend are always getting cheated on. What's up with men that they can't seem to appreciate women who dote on them? I am happily married to a loving man, but doting isn't in my nature and I have a rather difficult personality. Men have always liked and stayed with me, even when I couldn't understand why -- even when I, myself, cheated (never cheated on DH but for some reason, he worries about it).

My already rather low opinion of the opposite sex isn't improving when I see that men mistreat sweet girls like my friend and chase emotionally distant borderline misandrists like me.

Here is the thing OP, you have no idea what happened. I have see a lot of "great" marriages blow up. You think oh this is the prefect wife/husband and how could anyone do that...fast forwards a year or two and you find out some of the shit going on in the prefect marriage. Most cheating happens because the couples do not spend time together.

How many sweet boys have you mistreated? Really get the F off your high horse...you are the same as the husband. You are a cheater. You know what they say once a cheater always a cheater...your great marriage will blow up when you cheat.

[Anonymous]

Infidelity rates are reported between 25-75% and my guess is its at the upper end of that range. Of my closest dozen male friends, I don't know one that has been faithful (all are still married).

Monogamy is tough for most people and really, really hard for most men. Like really, really, really hard. (I know it's hard for women too, but a lot of women seem to just shut down sexually in LTR, whereas men are more likely to seek out strange).

There is no "type" of woman who gets cheated on. It's just anectdata, but from what I have seen, the controlling type of women are cheated on more; the sweet, kind women are cheated on less because their husbands know they have much to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is just women OP.

My husband's first wife cheated on him. If he treated her the way he treats me then she cheated on a man who was adoring, loving and devoted. Always thinking of others first.

It's possible his relationship with first wife was less than perfect.

[Anonymous]

I cheated on my DH of 17 years. He is a really good guy, a good husband and a great father. Friends and neighbors thought we had the perfect marriage. We are best friends and spend all of our free time together (I cheated on a work trip). We both grew complacent in the marriage and took each other for granted. He stopped meeting my needs years ago and everything in the bedroom was one-sided. He would take and take and rarely if ever reciprocate. I was also invisible to him as a sexy human being. Sex was frequent and decent but he was a taker, not a giver. I met a giver... No one outside of my DH and I would have ever suspected there were any problems with our perfect little marriage.

And for those wondering, I told him about the affair right after it happened and we are in the process of separating. Still best friends though. The marriage died a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Every situation is different. Sometimes cheaters can't answer themselves why they cheated. Mostly likely, because they were ready for it in their mind consciously or subconsciously and an opportunity arose. In my opinion, most affairs happen because of sexual desires and inability or refusal to control them. Basically, cheaters put themselves first and go with what feels good hoping to get away with it. Why do they behave in this way? I don't know.

[littlestarsmum]

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s situation. It's pretty obvious that you care so much for her. I just said a prayer for her, and I hope that God will surround her with His comfort and strength at this time.

In my opinion, not all men cheat their wives. I feel most of the problems can be solved if we can communicate well with each other. Hope everything goes well with your friend.