So basically anything that is not WASPY is tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that's the impression I am getting! Anything elegant must also have a WASPY derivation or cost tons of money, apparently (according to the other thread).

I find these threads entertaining in part because they bear no resemblance to my life. I do not sit around debating if things are tacky. If someone invites me to a bridal shower, I may decline because I find showers insanely boring, but not because I am judging the bride. If someone invites me to a third baby shower I will happily go celebrate (although I dislike baby showers too). I love potlucks, pizza parties, etc. We regularly host people for low-key latke parties. Friends bring dessert and wine and we make the latkes. We've never had anyone decline on grounds of tackiness, nor comment on the fact that the house smells like oil for days afterwards. I really don't understand this obsession with etiquette. As long as people are not outright rude or cruel, they should do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. And if someone doesn't want to participate, they're free not to do so.

Eh, it's not really an obsession with etiquette. I find sprinkles and showers two years after the first tacky, but that's because it's gift grabby, which is a violation of social convention. Informal parties? Lots of fun. These other people are class-obsessed, not obsessed with keeping things smooth. (Also, latke party - can I wraggle an invite? I'll bring homemade cheesecake!)

[Anonymous]

I'd like to throw in one more category - it can either be WASPY, tacky or boring. An example - a plain old Gap tee. Not WASPY or trashy, but completely uninspired.

[Anonymous]

I believe in the DCUM judge-o-sphere, things are either WASPy, tacky, or ghetto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that's the impression I am getting! Anything elegant must also have a WASPY derivation or cost tons of money, apparently (according to the other thread).

I find these threads entertaining in part because they bear no resemblance to my life. I do not sit around debating if things are tacky. If someone invites me to a bridal shower, I may decline because I find showers insanely boring, but not because I am judging the bride. If someone invites me to a third baby shower I will happily go celebrate (although I dislike baby showers too). I love potlucks, pizza parties, etc. We regularly host people for low-key latke parties. Friends bring dessert and wine and we make the latkes. We've never had anyone decline on grounds of tackiness, nor comment on the fact that the house smells like oil for days afterwards. I really don't understand this obsession with etiquette. As long as people are not outright rude or cruel, they should do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. And if someone doesn't want to participate, they're free not to do so.

+1

Amen. THis is how to have a full life people - not striving to be someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's necessarily restricted to WASPs, although it does seem fairly prevalent with them.

I don't care who is doing it though, anyone who prioritizes ""the way things are done", as a PP called it, over doing the right and good thing, isn't worth worrying about in my book.

+10000

Well said! Brava!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Dollar dances are an ethnic thing more than a WASP thing. People from other countries/cultures do this and have for ages. Are they tacky?

+1

Dollar dances are good fun in the right setting of ethnic weddings. Southern and Eastern European cultures do their version of the dollar or envelope dance.....but I guess this goes hand-in-hand with WASPs denigration of "ethnic whites."
Indian weddings often feature cash gifts or gold bullion given to the bride. Chinese weddings are infamous for their red envelopes stuffed with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

WASP here married to a Jew. I actually find my inlaws far more obsessed with "the way things are done" than my own family.

Jewish PP here. Are they from New York? My Jewish inlaws from Long Island are like this. They keep lists of which of their friends gave us what gifts so when their friends' kids get married or have babies, they can consult the list and give something of equal value. It's exhausting. But they are good people and they mean well. My own Jewish family, which hails from the midwest and Philadelphia, are nothing like this. We don't give a shit and stress a lot less about this sort of thing. I give all my friends who get married roughly equal gifts, even if I happen to recall that some of them gave far less to us when we got married. Doesn't matter to me. My husband says the score-keeping is a NY thing.

Lol. Yes they are from Long Island!

Haha. I have slowly gotten used to it over the 10 years we've been married but I was so shocked in the beginning when MIL would call and say "what/how much did so-and-so give you for your wedding?" It still annoys me a bit but I have learned to sit back and not care so much. As my DH explained it, if MIL doesn't give an equal gift, her friends will look down on her, so we are helping her out by providing info. Now we just roll our eyes and comply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in the DCUM judge-o-sphere, things are either WASPy, tacky, or ghetto.

Pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I thought WASPs were notoriously frugal. Does that not carry over into entertaining?

Proper WASPs while entertaining are the exact amount of generous and thoughtful without being gaudy or ostentatious. Think open bar at weddings, but no champagne fountains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Except I've never seen a WASP do any of those things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Dollar dances are an ethnic thing more than a WASP thing. People from other countries/cultures do this and have for ages. Are they tacky?

Yes. Yes they are. Please read the other thread before addressing this one. Consider it Tacky 101. This thread is a Tacky 303 seminar.

[Anonymous]

Do not knock it. Wasps are great! As my kids already realize, look around you. If it was not created by God - it was created by a Wasp or another European

[Anonymous]

Yep. Challenge me without being discremeny n

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not knock it. Wasps are great! As my kids already realize, look around you. If it was not created by God - it was created by a Wasp or another European

Like gunpowder and algebra?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

I have yet to meet a Jewish person in this area who isn't trying to morph into a WASP.