So basically anything that is not WASPY is tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

When you are raised a certain way you don't "worry" about etiquette and traditions, they are simply a part of your life. Its the non WASPS who worry about that stuff because they innately know that they can't keep pace.

Keep pace with what? There are more of us than you.

Us being people who aren't WASPS or people who don't try to emulate WASP culture? It's the latter group who struggles and finds themselves cranky over threads about tackiness. When you don't care about WASP culture, or are comfortable in your own skin, you don't pay a moments attention to people who find you or your ways tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

WASP here married to a Jew. I actually find my inlaws far more obsessed with "the way things are done" than my own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought WASPs were notoriously frugal. Does that not carry over into entertaining?

WASPS ARE very very frugal. That is why they find conspicuous consumption so offensive. My WASPY relatives preferred the word "vulgar" over "tacky" but the two words basically mean the same thing, at least to us. See below.

vul·gar
?v?l??r/
adjective
adjective: vulgar

lacking sophistication or good taste; unrefined.
"the vulgar trappings of wealth"
synonyms: tasteless, crass, tawdry, ostentatious, flamboyant, overdone, showy, gaudy, garish, brassy, kitsch, kitschy, tinselly, loud;

[Anonymous]

Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought WASPs were notoriously frugal. Does that not carry over into entertaining?

Well they like their booze! No cash bars at WASP weddings.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's necessarily restricted to WASPs, although it does seem fairly prevalent with them.

I don't care who is doing it though, anyone who prioritizes ""the way things are done", as a PP called it, over doing the right and good thing, isn't worth worrying about in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Exactly. See my post above on the dictionary definition of vulgar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's necessarily restricted to WASPs, although it does seem fairly prevalent with them.

I don't care who is doing it though, anyone who prioritizes ""the way things are done", as a PP called it, over doing the right and good thing, isn't worth worrying about in my book.

So what's the difference between "the way things are done" and "doing the right thing"?

[Anonymous]

I agree with showy/money grabbing = tacky. Understated = elegant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's necessarily restricted to WASPs, although it does seem fairly prevalent with them.

I don't care who is doing it though, anyone who prioritizes ""the way things are done", as a PP called it, over doing the right and good thing, isn't worth worrying about in my book.

So what's the difference between "the way things are done" and "doing the right thing"?

One is prioritizing social stratification and traditions, the other is prioritizing kindness and doing right by people. Sometimes "the way things are done" and "the right thing" are the same but very often they're not. i.e. shaming others over their cultural traditions because they aren't how you would do them, even if those traditions don't do you any harm.

[Anonymous]

I consider being subjected to anyone dancing for dollars to actually hurt me. The awkwardness is palpable and I hate awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Dollar dances are an ethnic thing more than a WASP thing. People from other countries/cultures do this and have for ages. Are they tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

WASP here married to a Jew. I actually find my inlaws far more obsessed with "the way things are done" than my own family.

Jewish PP here. Are they from New York? My Jewish inlaws from Long Island are like this. They keep lists of which of their friends gave us what gifts so when their friends' kids get married or have babies, they can consult the list and give something of equal value. It's exhausting. But they are good people and they mean well. My own Jewish family, which hails from the midwest and Philadelphia, are nothing like this. We don't give a shit and stress a lot less about this sort of thing. I give all my friends who get married roughly equal gifts, even if I happen to recall that some of them gave far less to us when we got married. Doesn't matter to me. My husband says the score-keeping is a NY thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Dollar dances, cash bars, honeymoon registries, gender reveals, 30 year old cake smash photo shoots, and taking home the wine bottle you previously "gave" your host are inherently tacky. Sorry not sorry. Has nothing to do with revering WASP culture.

Exactly. See my post above on the dictionary definition of vulgar.

But that's the thing -- it's only seen as tacky because it is not something that is regularly part of your culture! I think everything you mentioned -- except dollar dances -- is stupid, but not for etiquette reasons. More that I think it is crass to celebrate yourself at age 30 and cheap to take your own wine home. Dollar dances I don't care about in the least because I have never heard of this and thus have no frame of reference for it. And, if gender reveals or taking wine home is typical in a given culture, then who am I to say it is tacky or even cheap? I'm sure there are things I do that other people find offensive. I just don't give a shit so I don't know what those are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to DCUM the only way to not be tacky is to born WASP. Everyone else is tacky.

One of the prerogatives of being a WASP is not caring what others think of you. Adopt that attitude for a happier life, OP.

Not OP but I'm quite happy not being a WASP. Seems so constricting when you have to worry about etiquette and traditions and elegance and tackiness. I'll take my loud Jewish family any day.

WASP here married to a Jew. I actually find my inlaws far more obsessed with "the way things are done" than my own family.

Jewish PP here. Are they from New York? My Jewish inlaws from Long Island are like this. They keep lists of which of their friends gave us what gifts so when their friends' kids get married or have babies, they can consult the list and give something of equal value. It's exhausting. But they are good people and they mean well. My own Jewish family, which hails from the midwest and Philadelphia, are nothing like this. We don't give a shit and stress a lot less about this sort of thing. I give all my friends who get married roughly equal gifts, even if I happen to recall that some of them gave far less to us when we got married. Doesn't matter to me. My husband says the score-keeping is a NY thing.

Lol. Yes they are from Long Island!