I realized my marriage was over at the dinner table

[Anonymous]

Who's the lucky guy, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP! My mother knew very early in her marriage to my dad, well before they had kids, that he was never going to respect her or be kind to her. He wasn't abusive but he always chose being a dick over being kind any chance he had. She's never outright said to us that she wishes she'd left before she had kids but I'm pretty sure she does.

Instead, she stuck by him, being disrespected and generally treated like crap for 36 years, before finally telling him she'd had enough and divorcing him. A selfish part of me is glad she stayed so I could be born. Deep down, though, I wish she'd left so she could have had a chance to be happy with someone who treated her better or just by herself.

I am sorry your mother went through this. I was in a marriage with a very self centered and selfish person. I believe that to a large degree you get what you accept. That doesn't mean you can change people against their will but you can stand firm on what is and isn't acceptable behavior. If there is enough love there people will often come around. But, you can't expect to accept bad treatment for a couple of decades and then change things. Nor will you see any results if you waiver.

[Anonymous]

Good for you. I wish you a happy life.

[Anonymous]

Would it have been too much to ask you to read a cookbook?

[Anonymous]

I am always amazed by the drama queens in this forum

[Anonymous]

That's pretty cool, OP. Proud of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it have been too much to ask you to read a cookbook?

Congratulations on completely missing the point.

[Anonymous]

"I shouldn't be expected to cook my husband a nice meal. I want a divorce"!

[Anonymous]

Buy a cookbook? Are you freaking KIDDING me?

[Anonymous]

Have you said anything to him at all since the dinner? This is awesome!!

[Anonymous]

You're my hero, OP

[Anonymous]

This happened to me, OP. My ex husband made a racist joke and I was shocked. But I realized that he was going to be the father of my future kids and they might grow up to be racist jerks too. I got out while the getting was good.

[Anonymous]

Best wishes to you.
You took the time to cook at someone elses house and they made fun? That's going the extra mile. I don't like cooking in a kitchen that is not mine.

[Anonymous]

I might be the oddball out of the PPs...

Don't you think your husband deserves the decency to at least know why you filed for divorce? I mean you married the guy, and I am sure you have talked with him about his disrespect in the past. But to just leave him at the dinner table, get in an uber, and file seems a little odd, and I would think he at least deserves an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good decision for you. It's best to pull the plug on those unhealthy relationships.

I broke up with my first boyfriend in his car after we went to the beach on a holiday. I hadn't been planning it but something happening and I just said "I can't do this anymore." And cried . And that was it. I'd actually broken up with him a few times over the preceding months but it never stuck.

It's weird to think back to That. I think I subconsciously knew it was going to happen because the night before, right before we had sex, I had to stop myself from crying. I also took something specific of mine from his house when we left that day. I think I knew I wouldn't be coming back.