If you knew then what you know now, would you have married your husband? had kids?

[Anonymous]

Reading so many negative responses is really disheartening. So I feel compelled to say that yes, I would definitely marry my husband again. We've known each other for 17 years, have been married for 11, and had kids 4 years ago. But it hasn't always been easy. For a time, our busy careers kept us so distant on so many levels that our marriage nearly fell apart. Fortunately for me, DH was not willing to give up. We both learned that a good marriage takes work - nearly daily work, which is even more difficult now with kids. And keeping a good marriage going isn't easy, but it can be so worth it.

OP, everyone has gross habits and nobody is perfect. I think that we all have days when it's fun to think about turning back the clock.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, without a doubt. I married a very, very good man who is a great husband and a fabulous father. We met in our early twenties, when I was still discovering who I was, recovering from who I had been. A lesser man would have headed for the hills. It was with his strength, support, patience and love that I sorted out a bad childhood and became the woman I am today.

As for my children, we waited until our mid thirties to have them and I would not change a thing. We wanted ample time to be husband and wife before we became mom and dad. We have embraced those roles wholeheartedly and I can't imagine my life without my children, any more than I can imagine my life without my best friend. DCs look just like him and have his sweetness but they got my damn stubborn streak.

At the risk of sounding horribly cliche, DH makes me a better person and in turn, a better mother.

[Anonymous]

In a heartbeat. I have never - even in our darkest moments - doubted that we are soulmates.

Married for 5 yrs, knew each other about a year before that, and now expecting #2. We have definitely had our share of difficulties, but have acknowledged them early, gone to therapy together and seperately, and managed to conquer our demons.

We will continue to be presented with challenges but we have mutual respect, love, attraction, admiration, and constant amazement about each other and our 1.9 kids.

[Anonymous]

If only that was possible: I would have had my kid without marrying my husband!

[Anonymous]

Hindsight is 20/20 - I should have waited to have my daughter. But, we didn't know what we didn't know. Of course, I second guess just about every decision we have made since we were married - this is just one of about a zillion things I wish we had done differently. Not that we made any BAD decisions, just turned out not to be the BEST decisions in the end.

Ugh, seriously, I am just frustrated with where I am in my life right now...nothing has really turned out as we planned. I feel like everything is just about trying to roll with the punches these days.

[Anonymous]

Yes and yes. He's my favorite person I've ever met (except for our baby!).

[Anonymous]

In a heartbeat. Early on I suspected he'd be an incredible husband and father, but to see it every day is a beautiful thing. Occasionally I feel like sending his mother a thank you note for raising such a wonderful man. Does he drive me completely nuts on occasion? You bet. But I can't imagine life without him.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I love my life and feel very lucky.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I sure would! I love my husband and we are very lucky.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I love my husband and he is an amazing father, but our relationship has zero passion and really no "affection"-- no kissing hello/good-bye, good-night, etc-- those little things. In his defense, that is just how he is and I knew it going in, and should have thought long and hard if that was something I wanted to go the rest of my life without. Sometimes it makes me very sad, but I still consider myself "happy" and I just suck it up and live with my choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. My husband has turned out to be a selfish jerk who is cranky, irritable, negative and sucks the fun out of everything. He watches TV constantly and now my 3 year is addicted. He curses when he loses his cool, including the f word in front of our kid. He goes out playing sports 4 times a week and drinks after with buddies and then drives home. Whenhe drinks he can't stop. I am horrified and hope he gets arrested for DWI so that he learns a lesson.

Did I know this when I married him? Probably ignored some signs.

Are you married to my exhusband?

[Anonymous]

Yes! I am so lucky to have the life that I have, with someone who I stand being around 24/7. We knew each other 8 years before we dated, got married, and had our son. As we often say, we're best friends who have sex! Nope, no regrets...only that I wish our friendship/marriage had happened earlier in life. As for having our son-I would give my life for that little boy. I have a pretty good life.

[Anonymous]

After seven years together, my husband is still my favorite person to be around. He makes me laugh every day. Is he perfect? No. Neither am I. But he's my best friend and he's a good person who wants me to be happy. We're having our first baby in the Fall. I know things will change between us and things may get difficult, but I feel pretty good about the foundation we have. I'd marry him again in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

We've been married 8 years, together about 10 and DD's 1.5 years old. I'm very happy w/ my life and he's a great husband & dad. Are we soul mates? I don't think so, but we love each other and DD a lot and he definitely does a lot to carry his own weight in our house.

Yes, I'd absolutely do the same again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good Lord. You people have absolutely no idea about sacrifices. Married hubby (many) years ago. Waited (many) years to have kids. If you measure "success" by money, you would have never married my husband, but now we have done better than anyone we know (I'll leave it at that, to your chagrin). He drove a run down, leaking "least glamorous" car barely held together, but I liked the kind of person he was and what he had to offer. NOT what I thought he would make in XXX years. Holy moly! Can you say "shallow"!!?? As for the age debate, I have a friend who blames all her bad choices and laziness to her being an "older parent" - WTF? Aren't we mostly older in this area - having worked for what we have, at least I would hope! Maybe we're lucky, we both believe in sacrificing for what we have and sacrificing for long term happiness. A word you don't hear too much about here. Therapy is in fact, for everyone.

What are you talking about? Did you confuse this thread with something else, or do you just live on planet Zenith?