My girlfriend doesn't want to get married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been with her for 3 years and I would love to pop the question, however she's against the idea of getting married. She was married before and has a child, her ex cheated on her and has turned her off from marriage. I love her and her daughter and would love to be a family and even let our family grow, but she's not having it. She wants another baby, but she doesn't want to get married. What should I do?

You're dodging a major bullet. You don't want to be responsible for her kid.

Find another woman w/o baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's important to me because that's how I was raised and I want to raise my child to have the same values.

That's terrible reasoning.

[Anonymous]

Her divorce may have been very traumatic for her & she may not want to risk going through that type of experience ever again.

It sounds like she is truly dead-set against the idea and that is okay.
She has a right to feel the way she does due to past life experience.

And it is okay for you to desire taking a wife as well.

How important is marriage to you OP??
Would you be willing to sacrifice this woman in order to meet someone else who wants the same thing as you do out of life?
Or would you be willing to sacrifice your dreams of matrimony for the love of this wonderful woman + her child??

We are talking about a true life decision here which you need to put a ton of thought into.
Do not make a hasty, rash decision on this.

Follow both your heart as well as your heart on this.
And if you decide to stay w/her, do not do it w/the hope that you can convince her to marry you later down the road.

While she may change her mind on marrying you later on, it isn't a sure bet at all.

Hopefully you will find this all helpful!
And best of luck to the two of you as well!

[Anonymous]

*your head

[Anonymous]

Would she be amenable to couple's counseling? It would give you a neutral place to discuss things, plus help her work through her past issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP?

How old is your girlfriend?

I'm 40, she's 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her divorce may have been very traumatic for her & she may not want to risk going through that type of experience ever again.

It sounds like she is truly dead-set against the idea and that is okay.
She has a right to feel the way she does due to past life experience.

And it is okay for you to desire taking a wife as well.

How important is marriage to you OP??
Would you be willing to sacrifice this woman in order to meet someone else who wants the same thing as you do out of life?
Or would you be willing to sacrifice your dreams of matrimony for the love of this wonderful woman + her child??

We are talking about a true life decision here which you need to put a ton of thought into.
Do not make a hasty, rash decision on this.

Follow both your heart as well as your heart on this.
And if you decide to stay w/her, do not do it w/the hope that you can convince her to marry you later down the road.

While she may change her mind on marrying you later on, it isn't a sure bet at all.

Hopefully you will find this all helpful!
And best of luck to the two of you as well!

I'm willing to give up my dream of being married as long as I can have her and her child in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP?

How old is your girlfriend?

I'm 40, she's 36.

Oh you seem younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been with her for 3 years and I would love to pop the question, however she's against the idea of getting married. She was married before and has a child, her ex cheated on her and has turned her off from marriage. I love her and her daughter and would love to be a family and even let our family grow, but she's not having it. She wants another baby, but she doesn't want to get married. What should I do?

You're dodging a major bullet. You don't want to be responsible for her kid.

Find another woman w/o baggage.

As harsh as it seems the GF has a pretty sweet deal . She basically gets to call all the shots and if OP doesn't comply. She says I'll just leave. Even if OP were to agree to another kid. GF would have moe rights than as a married person/

That's what you are dealing with OP.

Not fear or trauma, just monumental selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP?

How old is your girlfriend?

I'm 40, she's 36.

Oh you seem younger.

How so? Because I want to get married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's important to me because that's how I was raised and I want to raise my child to have the same values.

That's terrible reasoning.

Maybe it is for someone who grew up withou traditions and values, but in short what OP is saying is he wants to marry someone with same values and to carry that on to the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP?

How old is your girlfriend?

I'm 40, she's 36.

Oh you seem younger.

How so? Because I want to get married?

No. Your reasoning and thought process seems very naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her divorce may have been very traumatic for her & she may not want to risk going through that type of experience ever again.

It sounds like she is truly dead-set against the idea and that is okay.
She has a right to feel the way she does due to past life experience.

And it is okay for you to desire taking a wife as well.

How important is marriage to you OP??
Would you be willing to sacrifice this woman in order to meet someone else who wants the same thing as you do out of life?
Or would you be willing to sacrifice your dreams of matrimony for the love of this wonderful woman + her child??

We are talking about a true life decision here which you need to put a ton of thought into.
Do not make a hasty, rash decision on this.

Follow both your heart as well as your heart on this.
And if you decide to stay w/her, do not do it w/the hope that you can convince her to marry you later down the road.

While she may change her mind on marrying you later on, it isn't a sure bet at all.

Hopefully you will find this all helpful!
And best of luck to the two of you as well!

I'm willing to give up my dream of being married as long as I can have her and her child in my life.

Then what was the point of asking your question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this was the other way around, if OP was a woman, everyone would be harping on her to cut ties. Why is it any different that OP is the man? I agree the gf is making OP pay for the ex's mistake, which isn't fair. If she isn't willing to get married to OP, even knowing how important it is to him, they are not a good match.

Agreed. But, this is DCUM the woman is always, always right no matter what, and the man must change his behavior to accommodate her no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her divorce may have been very traumatic for her & she may not want to risk going through that type of experience ever again.

It sounds like she is truly dead-set against the idea and that is okay.
She has a right to feel the way she does due to past life experience.

And it is okay for you to desire taking a wife as well.

How important is marriage to you OP??
Would you be willing to sacrifice this woman in order to meet someone else who wants the same thing as you do out of life?
Or would you be willing to sacrifice your dreams of matrimony for the love of this wonderful woman + her child??

We are talking about a true life decision here which you need to put a ton of thought into.
Do not make a hasty, rash decision on this.

Follow both your heart as well as your heart on this.
And if you decide to stay w/her, do not do it w/the hope that you can convince her to marry you later down the road.

While she may change her mind on marrying you later on, it isn't a sure bet at all.

Hopefully you will find this all helpful!
And best of luck to the two of you as well!

I'm willing to give up my dream of being married as long as I can have her and her child in my life.

Then what was the point of asking your question?

The point was, I really want to marry and start a family with her.