Tell me about your surprise pregnancy...several years after you thought you were "done"

[Anonymous]

I had a third after being "done." I cried for a month when I found out I was pregnant, and my husband's words when I told him were NSFW. It took me a while to come to grips. But eventually I came around, and that beautiful person is meant to be in my life. She is a happy, wonderful bundle of love. Our lives are definitely hectic, but she is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a surprise pregnancy, though not years after being done. Fertility treatments never worked so we adopted. I found out I was pregnant shortly after, and although conventional wisdom said we should've been thrilled, I wasn't. I was also upset and angry, and it took me quite a few months to recover. Fortunately, he's the love of my life and looking back, I can't believe the fuss I put up and that I had wished him away.

Congratulations to you!

I hope you didn't mean it but this makes it sound like you've sent your adoptive child to sit at the back of the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.


Okay troll. Good try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.


Okay troll. Good try.

no, not a troll

[Anonymous]

I'm 8 years younger than my siblings and was a surprise, very much unplanned. Growing up, the older siblings kinda did their own thing so I was independent in a lot of ways, but soaked up the moments when everyone doted on "the baby." I was an easy baby but daredevil toddler who always wanted to do what the big kids were doing.

My siblings were out of the house during my middle and high school years and I grew closer to my parents during that time. I definitely have the best/closest relationship with my parents to this day as a result. My mom says that she got to enjoy every moment with me (once she got over the initial shock) because she knew what she was doing and had help when she needed it in the older kids.

Congrats OP! Hope you enjoy the journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a surprise pregnancy, though not years after being done. Fertility treatments never worked so we adopted. I found out I was pregnant shortly after, and although conventional wisdom said we should've been thrilled, I wasn't. I was also upset and angry, and it took me quite a few months to recover. Fortunately, he's the love of my life and looking back, I can't believe the fuss I put up and that I had wished him away.

Congratulations to you!

I hope you didn't mean it but this makes it sound like you've sent your adoptive child to sit at the back of the bus.

PP here. I certainly didn't mean it the way you interpreted it. I love both of my children equally. They are both the loves of my life and I am in wonder at how each arrived in this world. My saying my unexpected and initially unwanted pregnancy became a such a joy to me was in no way a slam against my child who came to me via adoption and I am sorry if I didn't make that clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a surprise pregnancy, though not years after being done. Fertility treatments never worked so we adopted. I found out I was pregnant shortly after, and although conventional wisdom said we should've been thrilled, I wasn't. I was also upset and angry, and it took me quite a few months to recover. Fortunately, he's the love of my life and looking back, I can't believe the fuss I put up and that I had wished him away.

Congratulations to you!

I hope you didn't mean it but this makes it sound like you've sent your adoptive child to sit at the back of the bus.

PP here. I certainly didn't mean it the way you interpreted it. I love both of my children equally. They are both the loves of my life and I am in wonder at how each arrived in this world. My saying my unexpected and initially unwanted pregnancy became a such a joy to me was in no way a slam against my child who came to me via adoption and I am sorry if I didn't make that clear.

NP. Not to pile on the criticism to PP, but that is how I read the "love of my life" comment also. Just a friendly reminder to be careful about language. Adoptees I've known have all been very sensitive to this sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After more fertility treatments than you can count on your fingers and toes, we finally finished our family. Doctors told us we would never get pregnant without IVF. Husband kept procrastinating getting vasectomy because "what's the point." Well, one freaky early ovulation and we're pregnant (we were doing natural family planning method).

I'm gonna be almost 39 and my husband will be 43 when then baby is due. I'm feeling sad, angry and not wanting to go through the baby stage again.

Tell me about your experience with surprise pregnancy. What did you do? How do you feel about it now?

My parents had me at age 42. They were way older than all the other parents (back in the 70's, now I feel like everyone is older) and I turned out just fine.
I have a 4 year gap between two of my kids. Not planned, just happened...and it's amazing.
It's going to be amazing. You'll get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a surprise pregnancy, though not years after being done. Fertility treatments never worked so we adopted. I found out I was pregnant shortly after, and although conventional wisdom said we should've been thrilled, I wasn't. I was also upset and angry, and it took me quite a few months to recover. Fortunately, he's the love of my life and looking back, I can't believe the fuss I put up and that I had wished him away.

Congratulations to you!

I hope you didn't mean it but this makes it sound like you've sent your adoptive child to sit at the back of the bus.

PP here. I certainly didn't mean it the way you interpreted it. I love both of my children equally. They are both the loves of my life and I am in wonder at how each arrived in this world. My saying my unexpected and initially unwanted pregnancy became a such a joy to me was in no way a slam against my child who came to me via adoption and I am sorry if I didn't make that clear.

NP. Not to pile on the criticism to PP, but that is how I read the "love of my life" comment also. Just a friendly reminder to be careful about language. Adoptees I've known have all been very sensitive to this sort of thing.

I'm the adoptive parent here again. You probably won't believe me but I'm also a transracial adult adoptee. I get it, I truly do. I typed without thinking about how my comment could be mistrued. All I meant was that I was so upset and angry over bring pregnant and now that he is here, I can't believe how upset I was. If you knew me in real life, which my friends and family do, they can attest how in no way is my adoptive child sent to the back of the bus. One began my family and one completed it. That is all I will say about my family, which is very much loved and cherished. Everyone. Not just one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.

Wow, would never want you as my Ob.

[Anonymous]

After actively trying (charting, opks etc) for 14 months I've been having a hard time getting used to being pregnant. If it had happened a year ago I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, but I'd come to peace with the possibility of "one and done". I'm only a few weeks, but I've realized part of it for me is losing my close community of friends dealing with infertility. I also have spent a lot of time convincing myself that one was better logistically, financially etc. Now I have to unconvince myself since I'm pretty sure I don't want to terminate. I was actively trying (and no problems diagnosed) and still have been surprised. I think your feelings sound really normal, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.

Wow, would never want you as my Ob.

+1 Very insensitive MD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.

Fine, so it was within the realm of possibility. Given the chances, it's still reasonable to be surprised.