How do I respond to the hate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is very very vocal in person and on Facebook about his conservative beliefs. He is recently posting every few min something hate filled about Islam. His most recent upload stating that not just extremist but ALL Muslims are hateful and Islam will destroy the west. My husband says don't respond but I can't not say anything.

We've sat quietly as he tears down our current president, makes brass judgements regarding womens rights and abortions, is racist towards anyone who doesn't look or believe like himself, spreads fear and hate towards refugees and now Muslims.

I don't even have words for how angry I am at him and how he could think these things. I just want to yell - you make me ashamed to be a part if this family and you shouldn't even call yourself a Christan. ( he always uses that as an excuse....its the Christian beliefs)

My father's side is Muslim. My mother's Hindu. I was raised Christian. I now align myself with do good and be a good person.

Sorry of this post is all over the place. I'm just so upset. Part venting part asking for tactful responses to his hate.

OP, as usual with this kind of issue--where someone like you has a nervous breakdown because someone else that they know expresses opinions that threaten to puncture your insular thought bubble--the problem is really yourself, not him.

Your background is all over the place ideology wise so you probably really don't have strong ideological roots and haven't really formed your own independent strong world view or philosophy yet. Do unto others yeah that's a good general ethical one which I agree with, but you haven't actually thought about what it means to deal with the real world. Do unto others is a great generic philosophy UNTIL the terrorist's machine gun is pointing in your face, someone you know, or if it hits too close to home. A lot of people get radicalized conservatively because of the emotional impact of these kinds of events as in Orlando. They actually empathize with the victims in a visceral emotional way, not the abstract over educated political liberal way of "let's blame it on the gunz"!

Look at your own background--father Muslim but married a Hindu. Raised Christian (most likely as some kind of compromise by your parents.) Did you ever actually ask your father why he married outside his faith? Or your mother? Did you ever actually ask them why you were raised Christian rather than Hindu, Muslim, something else, or nothing?

Don't you have any curiosity about your own upbringing, why your parents did that?

You'll start to understand others better when you work on understanding yourself better first. That starts with actually having some curiosity about exactly why you're a Muslim-Hindu-Christian.

Wow, that's some condescending bullshit.

+1. No fucking kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt this story. You would divorce your spouse if it were true.

Kind of like my kid blaming all this horror on a mentally unbalanced pos when in fact his BELIEFS are what motivated him. It must be a mass imbalance too because it's a common theme amongst those people.

But go ahead and spin your stories. Pretend it isn't what it really is.

JIHAD IN AMERICA AGAINST AMERICANS.

If that were not true, they would not be murdering people they didn't even know.

+1

http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/04/16/why-you-should-fear-your-peaceful-muslim-neighbors/

Just a recently, this is what Turkish prez Erdogan said during a visit to a Maryland mosque:

” The term ‘Moderate Islam’ is ugly and offensive. There is no moderate Islam. Islam is Islam”

He then read a poem and said, ” The Mosques are our barracks, the domes our helmets, the minarets our Bayonets and the faithful our soldiers.”

But don't let the haters stop your "multiculturalism". Invite them in, hire them, give them generous welfare. Never criticize them coz its " racist"...heck, sell them guns...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not in charge of him and how he feels/conducts himself. It has nothing to do with you. So you don't need to respond. And you certainly don't need to follow him on social media.

However, you ARE in charge of what you will allow to be said/what you will hear in your presence. If he speaks this way in front of you, you may leave, or you may ask him to leave your home. You are entitled to take your children with you. And DH should not prevent this; there is no excuse for allowing yourself or your children to be subject to such hateful words.

If you leave/take your kids with you often enough, he'll either change his behavior, or he'll disengage from you. His choice.

Agree with this. My father was the same. Called my Arab Muslim son a towelhead. (Son was a infant at the time). I told him off (politely) and left.

Sucks, but I always knew my father was extremely insecure.

Wait, so your dad isn't Arab or Muslim, and evidently you aren't either (at least not by birth), but you got impregnated by a father who was Arab/Muslim, therefore, your son is Arab/Muslim as opposed to whatever you the mom's ethnicity and religion are?

How could that be? How come you don't identify your son as whatever your religion and nationality of origin might be? Also how can an infant be Muslim? He doesn't even know what he is yet.

Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I've never met anyone else who has one Muslim parent, one Hindu parent, and who was raised Christian.

I ignore the hate and just tell myself that some people are nuts and there is nothing I can do about it besides show them how awesome I am and how awesome my family members are. If people still spout hate despite knowing awesome people of a certain religion/race, there is nothing you will ever be able to do to change their mind.

Couldn't care less what anyone is or how they were raised.

However, before I put myself on a high horse and criticize the beliefs of others in any material way, I'm going to try to make sure I understand what I myself believe, and why. If I'm sort of multi ethnic multi faith hybrid or chimera like OP I'd be way more focused on what I am then what someone else is. OP's insecurity in her own sense of self and personal identity is why she's so oversensitive to what she perceives as someone else's ravings.

[Anonymous]

Unfriend him on FB. Then when he says something in person come up with a phrase to say over and over again until he gets it. Something like "I don't appreciate that hateful language, I'm not going to engage..." or "Please refrain from making these judgments in front of me, I find them offensive..." etc