ILs bought 3 year old an iPad as a "big sister" gift

[Anonymous]

Just say "thank you" and get on with your life. Having a second ipad doesn't mean you need to relax you screen time rules at all. In two years, when you're on a long road trip with both children, you might find yourself appreciating it.

My ILs gave my kids iPads, and I agree, it's a little obscene for a 4 year old to have his own ipad (I don't even have one!). We still set the rules though (they get them on road trips and weekend mornings) and they otherwise stay in my office, and from the kids' perspective, it's little different than a leap pad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will be OK, if you and DH get on the same page with them about how it will be handled.

1) As a PP said, make sure you have a say in the presentation. If they want to give it in person, make sure it is presented as, "Grandma and Grandpa got us a special iPad, with some fun new games for you. We'll keep it on this shelf, and when it's time for a game or a show, we'll get it down for you."

2) When they visit, I'd make a point to keep it stored on that shelf, not out and about, where they could casually grab it and start up a game or a show without your permission. I'd make the "special shelf" in YOUR closet, where only you and DH can get it.

This is crazy. Sorry. There is no need to do ANY of this. She can just say thank you and the rules stay the same for the iPad, regardless of who owns it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be OK, if you and DH get on the same page with them about how it will be handled.

1) As a PP said, make sure you have a say in the presentation. If they want to give it in person, make sure it is presented as, "Grandma and Grandpa got us a special iPad, with some fun new games for you. We'll keep it on this shelf, and when it's time for a game or a show, we'll get it down for you."

2) When they visit, I'd make a point to keep it stored on that shelf, not out and about, where they could casually grab it and start up a game or a show without your permission. I'd make the "special shelf" in YOUR closet, where only you and DH can get it.

This is crazy. Sorry. There is no need to do ANY of this. She can just say thank you and the rules stay the same for the iPad, regardless of who owns it.

And then grandparents give a wrapped gift to the child, and make a big to-do about how this is Little Sally's iPad for Being Such a Good Big Sister, and Little Sally wants to play with HER TOY. And when the grandparents visit, they constantly grab HER TOY and give it to her, so they can see an expensive gift being used, and get their money's worth...

[Anonymous]

Mom, Sally loves the ipad you gave her and uses to daily but we have always limited her screen time to the morning before school. Why don't you ask her to show you how she can dance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh... I don't see the big deal. Limit it to 15 minutes a day or long car rides, etc... if you don't want it, we'll take it.

This. Be gracious. This need not change hour family screen rules unless you let it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom, Sally loves the ipad you gave her. Thank you very much.

I made this better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be OK, if you and DH get on the same page with them about how it will be handled.

1) As a PP said, make sure you have a say in the presentation. If they want to give it in person, make sure it is presented as, "Grandma and Grandpa got us a special iPad, with some fun new games for you. We'll keep it on this shelf, and when it's time for a game or a show, we'll get it down for you."

2) When they visit, I'd make a point to keep it stored on that shelf, not out and about, where they could casually grab it and start up a game or a show without your permission. I'd make the "special shelf" in YOUR closet, where only you and DH can get it.

This is crazy. Sorry. There is no need to do ANY of this. She can just say thank you and the rules stay the same for the iPad, regardless of who owns it.

And then grandparents give a wrapped gift to the child, and make a big to-do about how this is Little Sally's iPad for Being Such a Good Big Sister, and Little Sally wants to play with HER TOY. And when the grandparents visit, they constantly grab HER TOY and give it to her, so they can see an expensive gift being used, and get their money's worth...

No - they have rules for the iPad. THAT they can discuss/put their foot down on/etc. All of the extra isn't necessary, especially if they don't do any of what is mentioned above. It is overkill and unnecessary - when she already uses an iPad on a daily basis.

Even if she does play it when Grandma visits, so what? SHE ALREADY USES IT DAILY. Using it the weekend that Grandma is around will do what, precisely? Stunt her growth and development? This is why people say their DILs are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be OK, if you and DH get on the same page with them about how it will be handled.

1) As a PP said, make sure you have a say in the presentation. If they want to give it in person, make sure it is presented as, "Grandma and Grandpa got us a special iPad, with some fun new games for you. We'll keep it on this shelf, and when it's time for a game or a show, we'll get it down for you."

2) When they visit, I'd make a point to keep it stored on that shelf, not out and about, where they could casually grab it and start up a game or a show without your permission. I'd make the "special shelf" in YOUR closet, where only you and DH can get it.

This is crazy. Sorry. There is no need to do ANY of this. She can just say thank you and the rules stay the same for the iPad, regardless of who owns it.

And then grandparents give a wrapped gift to the child, and make a big to-do about how this is Little Sally's iPad for Being Such a Good Big Sister, and Little Sally wants to play with HER TOY. And when the grandparents visit, they constantly grab HER TOY and give it to her, so they can see an expensive gift being used, and get their money's worth...

PP and the originally quoted PP, really you both are OVERTHINKING this. We all have enough real crap to deal with in life. Why throw yourselves into a frenzy thinking about the worst possible outcome over a free ipad?

[Anonymous]

Eh - with some of the other posters here. Your rules don't have to change but now you can have a dedicated kid iPad for travel etc. You can't control what others give your child. You can only teach your child how to be gracious and responsible.

[Anonymous]

That ipad may come in really freaking handy at some point in the next few months. Example1: You have a sick 3YO and a colicky baby. Example 2: You have a mastitis and need to nurse or pump constantly for 24 hours. Example 3: You are exhausted and don't feel like helping your 3yo get out the paint set. Example 4: You have your 10th pediatrician appointment for your infant and your 3yo is being obnoxious.
Maybe this will never happen to you because your 3yo always knows how to engage in creative play on her own, but sometimes 3 year olds, especially ones with new siblings, need some extra sh*t to keep them in line. An extra bit of screen time here or there won't hurt her, and might save your sanity. Take the gift.

[Anonymous]

Uh so, just regulate how she uses it and she uses it instead of yours during the times you already had set. It is not like they will be coming to your house forcing her to use it more than you desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP, and would find this very annoying. I don't think you can refuse it, but I absolutely agree with PPs who said that your rules should not change, and that you should make it clear to ILs that DD will not get unlimited access to the iPad. Totally an overkill gift, and not developmentally appropriate for a 3 year old.

So you think the card will say must have unlimited usage? DUHHHH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will be OK, if you and DH get on the same page with them about how it will be handled.

1) As a PP said, make sure you have a say in the presentation. If they want to give it in person, make sure it is presented as, "Grandma and Grandpa got us a special iPad, with some fun new games for you. We'll keep it on this shelf, and when it's time for a game or a show, we'll get it down for you."

2) When they visit, I'd make a point to keep it stored on that shelf, not out and about, where they could casually grab it and start up a game or a show without your permission. I'd make the "special shelf" in YOUR closet, where only you and DH can get it.

This is crazy. Sorry. There is no need to do ANY of this. She can just say thank you and the rules stay the same for the iPad, regardless of who owns it.

Seriously overkill reaction right. Geez, just use the dang thang the way you have been using the ipad that you already use.

[Anonymous]

Just another way to think about this. I think the present was a gift to you and DH too. Of course you may limit DD's ipad usage now, and continue to do so, but it could be a useful tool when juggling two children. Giving her a little extra time to watch Sesame Street, play an educational game, read a book, or skype with grandparents. This might be the distraction you need to get through the newborn's feeding/bath/bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Just think how clean and unsticky your iPad will be now.

Just get a good cover for it, put kids only apps on it and let her use it during the same schedule she used to use yours.

I don't think she will internalize that it's actually hers if you dole it out in the same way you did the initial iPad. It's not as if she's never seen or played with one before and so this will be novel to her.

This really isn't a big deal.