Still don't feel welcome in DH's family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, figure out your boundaries with DH and your expectations of how you will be treated now, before you have a child. It will only get harder!

+1000. Do NOT have kids with this guy until you feel comfortable with the boundaries he sets & boundaries that he allows you to set with the in-laws. This kind of behavior is only the tip of the iceberg of serious disfunction. Kids will only complicate matters between you, your husband, and your jerk in-laws. I've been married for 18years, and my in-laws are still like this. It doesn't get better with time and/or kids. Start talking to your husband about how you'd like to handle this & what would feel appropriate & confortable to you. If you two are on the same page, that is a good start. If you aren't anywhere close to same page, get a good therapist involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, figure out your boundaries with DH and your expectations of how you will be treated now, before you have a child. It will only get harder!

+1000. Do NOT have kids with this guy until you feel comfortable with the boundaries he sets & boundaries that he allows you to set with the in-laws. This kind of behavior is only the tip of the iceberg of serious disfunction. Kids will only complicate matters between you, your husband, and your jerk in-laws. I've been married for 18years, and my in-laws are still like this. It doesn't get better with time and/or kids. Start talking to your husband about how you'd like to handle this & what would feel appropriate & confortable to you. If you two are on the same page, that is a good start. If you aren't anywhere close to same page, get a good therapist involved.

I feel for you, as I was once in your shoes.

now, it's every little thing.... do I go there for any birthday, any holiday, and what do I expect other than what I have experienced to date? I am so ashamed for giving so much away. I thought I was building ties to have a close relationship, and didn't mind the insults. But they just got worse. I could not believe the individuals of the family would make these decisions, and would engage in such horrible behavior. But they did, and when I reacted, when I challenged it, it went totally beyond civilized behavior. it makes me so sad, not bc I think of them as crazy, but bc I have no respect for them, and we have children.

don't be me.