Younger daughter wants to move into bigger siblings room since he is away at college?

[Anonymous]

I'd wait until he comes home. Wouldn't do it without telling him in person. Yes, they are your rooms but I think you should respect your son's privacy/belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd wait until he comes home. Wouldn't do it without telling him in person. Yes, they are your rooms but I think you should respect your son's privacy/belongings.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that OP toss his stuff on the lawn and say "SURPRISE!" at Spring Break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how it's fair to keep the youngest in the smallest room when the other room isn't even occupied. In our house, the younger had the smaller room until the older kids were gone. It's only fair. Younger kids get a lot of hand-me-downs.

This. He can rotate into taking a turn in the smallest room. I would email him and let him know his sister wants to switch rooms, and then ask him what he thinks is fair given all the factors. What grade is your youngest in?

[Anonymous]

This is expected in my house. Tell the older kid first, and set the date. You can switch room in the same day. Give them time to pack personal stuffs.

[Anonymous]

I would wait until sophomore year.

For me, the summer after freshman year was a huge adjustment -- realizing that even when I was back home, it just wasn't the same.

Before that, I would've felt like I was being given the bum's rush. But after that, nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wait until sophomore year.

For me, the summer after freshman year was a huge adjustment -- realizing that even when I was back home, it just wasn't the same.

Before that, I would've felt like I was being given the bum's rush. But after that, nbd.

I disagree - especially w the comments that have been made by the OP. Given the sense of entitlement I think it is more important to be firm and do it sooner. Dragging it out would mean that it is actually not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is expected in my house.

Mine, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she should be able to move as soon as he goes away. Redecorate both.

you said she's the baby in the family. Are there other kids? Was the youngest always sharing or stuck with the smallest?

This. You can't hold the biggest bedroom forever. Just give him a heads up that it is going to happen.

[Anonymous]

But he might not care, so ask!

he cares

Why does he care? You might want to reflect on why rooms matter so much to your children.

Who is in charge?

Your oldest could have gone to college close to home and stayed in his room if he cared so much. He doesn't get to occupy 2 rooms (at your expense, assuming you pay for college). Asking him what color he wants to paint his new room is a nice idea.
--Signed a little sister who moved into her older brother's much larger room a few weeks after he left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By not allowing the youngest to have the room, you are sending the message to her that birth order matters. It is more important for the oldest to keep a large vacant room than for the youngest to have the space she needs. That her voice does not matter.

As long as you are OK with the message you are sending to your daughter - it is fine.

Yup. And they will carry this attitude into other family dynamics.

I'm the youngest who was given the cruddiest room. My brother and sister were four and six years older and their rooms sat there empty throughout my childhood years. It was ridiculous and yes my older siblings are entitled and still treat me poorly.

Now my sisters oldest is moving away to college and her brother wants her room (twice the size) and her parents said no because my niece said she wouldn't come home for breaks if they have away her room.

If my DD ever threatened to not come home for breaks b/c we gave her bedroom to her brother that would be fine with me ....... she could also use her own money to pay for any travel she wanted to take - and possibly make the next tuition payment.

[Anonymous]

I am a younger sib. I never had my own room, sat in the front seat, got a good spot on the couch, you name it. I knew not to even ask. When a sib moved out to college DIBS for the younger, FINALLY. The moved out kid had no say.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest of three and moved into a bigger room each time I had a sibling leave. I have a DC leaving in August who will probably only be home maybe three times. If younger DC wants the room, it's his (but neither has a great room, tbh. He probably won't move). When younger DC goes to college in 2019, we're selling the whole house out from under them and getting a condo or townhouse in an undesirable school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The baby in the family has the smallest room. DD really wants to move into DS room because he is never here. How long does he hold claim to his room? While he is in college? She can move in after he graduates?

The record I know is three hours. A friend's son moved in while they )parents and brother) were driving to freshman orientation. . For us, my DC left mid- August and my father moved in mid-Sept. We gave him our room as it has its own bathroom and we moved into DC's room. When he was home for Thanksgiving he had to sleep in his bed in a corner of the basement as my sister and her family were in the guest bedroom. He was fine with it. Barring the inevitable with my father (50/50 right now as he entered hospice this week), he will be in the guest bedroom this summer.

[Anonymous]

OP, it really does sound like your youngest child has gotten the short end of the stick, and that somehow you believe that this is a reasonable pattern. Would be wise to stop that pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the youngest of three and moved into a bigger room each time I had a sibling leave. I have a DC leaving in August who will probably only be home maybe three times. If younger DC wants the room, it's his (but neither has a great room, tbh. He probably won't move). When younger DC goes to college in 2019, we're selling the whole house out from under them and getting a condo or townhouse in an undesirable school district.

I was thinking of doing the same thing- although the rental market is fierce in our neighborhood, so it might be worth it to rent the house and become landlords.