What happened to the babysitter thread?

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/522121.page

Thank you Jeff for taking the time to answer in spite of the spends to much time on dcum police state poster.

I linked one recent thread for you, not to ask you to move it but as an example for my argument.

The tyread I linked discussing childcare is discussing in depth nannies, au pairs, rates, nanny shares, etc. Things which are decidedly nanny topics. Threads like this happen very frequently in the expectant mom, daycare and parenting forums.

Housekeeper threads happen as well. One recent one that comes to mind it the woman who was worried about uer housekeeper finding "the most embarrassing item" in the master bedroom, or the "what to give household help for Christmas" thread. There are husbands eyeing the young nanny, be sure to choose an ugly nanny and other nanny related threads that get posted in the relationship forums and seem to stay put even though they mention nannies in the same way as the recent babysitter thread that you deleted did.

In my opinion, those types of threads (in tye same way as that babysitter thread) are really about relationships and belong over here and not in the nanny forum. The babysitter tyread by OP is also about relationships (teens and neighbors) and belong over here just like those other threads which are not being moved.

Are you able to see the similarities between all those threads that are allowed to stay vs the threads that are deleted simply because they mentioned the word babysitter? It doesn't make sense that all these other threads are not problems except for the ones that mention babysitter.

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/520822.page

Here is a recent thread about nanny problems posted in off topics that was allowed to stay. It is very similar to the babysitting thread in that it is about so much more than a child care related issue.

There are many more just like it.

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/520343.page#8046387

And this one in general parenting.

It mentions nannies, even in the title, but was not moved.

It is very similar in purpose to the babysitter thread. There are tons more just like it that were jot moved or deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent here and I think that the babysitter questions should absolutely stay in the nanny forum in the babysitter section. I'm glad the forums were separated and that the nannies are largely contained in that area. It sounds like you expect babysitting questions posted in the main forum will automatically attract input from actual parents. If you remember from the days when the forums were together, any questions about child care went the same way. The first few responses would ask what you pay the sitter (no matter what the question), they second set would contain insults about hiring cheap sitters who don't speak English (no matter what the question) and maybe, just maybe, you'd get a post or two with some on topic and useful advice.

If your question is about childcare, it should go in the forums about childcare, in the nanny section. I agree with a hardline policy on this. If you want the nanny forums to be more useful to parents, then participate there and help clean it up by posting good questions and thoughtful responses to other people's questions.

:shock:

Should nannies also have separate water fountains?

I don't really have any strong feelings either way about this topic (& actually agree with a couple of the points you made) but find your phrasing here makes you sound like an insufferable snob.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/520822.page

Here is a recent thread about nanny problems posted in off topics that was allowed to stay. It is very similar to the babysitting thread in that it is about so much more than a child care related issue.

There are many more just like it.

Obviously I am not able to read every thread. This one is titled, "Aaagghh! Cannot get my head above water. (Vent about the mundane.)". There is no way other than reading the thread or having it reported for me to know it is about Nannies. Moreover, I don't think the OP of that thread meant it to be about nannies. If that thread were still active, I would lock it. At this point, it wouldn't make a difference. Had I caught it earlier, I might have tried to remove the posts that concentrated on the nanny instead of simply offering support for the OP.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/520343.page#8046387

And this one in general parenting.

It mentions nannies, even in the title, but was not moved.

It is very similar in purpose to the babysitter thread. There are tons more just like it that were jot moved or deleted.

This one is absolutely inappropriate for the General Parenting forum and should have been in the Nanny Forums section. I'm surprised that I didn't see it or that it was not reported, but it was posted while I was traveling and not paying as much attention to the site. At any rate, I have removed it now.

[Anonymous]

Is there anyway to have a link if the thread is moved ? maybe the original post still appears in the wrong forum with just a link to the new thread?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyway to have a link if the thread is moved ? maybe the original post still appears in the wrong forum with just a link to the new thread?

There is a way, but I don't like that approach. A link is no different than any other subject line, so the post is essentially available in two forums. That sort of rewards posting in the wrong forum. I don't think too many of the posts that are posted in the wrong forum are a result of not understanding which forum is best. I think it is mostly derived from posters' desire to post in a "popular" forum in which they believe they will get more responses, post in the forum they mostly use (e.g. if they always posts in Expectant Moms, they use that forum regardless of the topic), or simple laziness.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyway to have a link if the thread is moved ? maybe the original post still appears in the wrong forum with just a link to the new thread?

There is a way, but I don't like that approach. A link is no different than any other subject line, so the post is essentially available in two forums. That sort of rewards posting in the wrong forum. I don't think too many of the posts that are posted in the wrong forum are a result of not understanding which forum is best. I think it is mostly derived from posters' desire to post in a "popular" forum in which they believe they will get more responses, post in the forum they mostly use (e.g. if they always posts in Expectant Moms, they use that forum regardless of the topic), or simple laziness.

I think it is also about the audience you are trying to reach.

If, for example, I am posting a question about the neighborhood teen babysitter sneaking boys into the house, the people I want input from is not a bunch of college aged nannies who may have experience taking care of babies and toddlers but don't have much of a background in parenting teenagers and negotiating neighborhood relationships with other parents. The audience I am looking for will not be over at the nanny forum. They are over here on dcum.

Would you consider not going with an automatic delete just because the word babysitter is mentioned, and perhaps give it a quick scan to see if it helongs in the teen forum?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:
Would you consider not going with an automatic delete just because the word babysitter is mentioned, and perhaps give it a quick scan to see if it helongs in the teen forum?

That is more or less what I do now. There is a greater chance of me letting it go if the thread is actually posted in the teen forum. This one was posted in Off-Topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent here and I think that the babysitter questions should absolutely stay in the nanny forum in the babysitter section. I'm glad the forums were separated and that the nannies are largely contained in that area. It sounds like you expect babysitting questions posted in the main forum will automatically attract input from actual parents. If you remember from the days when the forums were together, any questions about child care went the same way. The first few responses would ask what you pay the sitter (no matter what the question), they second set would contain insults about hiring cheap sitters who don't speak English (no matter what the question) and maybe, just maybe, you'd get a post or two with some on topic and useful advice.

If your question is about childcare, it should go in the forums about childcare, in the nanny section. I agree with a hardline policy on this. If you want the nanny forums to be more useful to parents, then participate there and help clean it up by posting good questions and thoughtful responses to other people's questions.

:shock:

Should nannies also have separate water fountains?

I don't really have any strong feelings either way about this topic (& actually agree with a couple of the points you made) but find your phrasing here makes you sound like an insufferable snob.

You sound just like one of the nanny forum regulars. Trolling for a fight where there isn't one with fake shock.

Get over yourself. That isn't what I was saying and if anyone here spends ten minutes over in the nanny forums, they would know exactly what I mean. The vast majority of nannies who post there are mean, nasty and insulting to anyone who disagrees with them that nannies should be paid over $30/hr, rounitnely insult their employers, and pose as MBs to troll and start arguments for amusement. They also routinely like to threaten the few brave FTPs who wade in with a question with how they will lose their nanny in a heartbeat if they don't offer huge bonuses and perks.

Most of the nannies who post there are just plain mean. Am I happy that this kind of vitriol and obvious trolling be contained in one area of an anonymous forum? Sure. Do I feel bad for the few really nice nannies and who try their best to be helpful and positive? Sure. Do I think the nanny forums are the only places on this board filled with vitriol and trolling? No. However and sadly, the nanny forum is especially egregious, in my one opinion.

Luckily, Jeff allows us to disagree on a great number things and you are welcome to call me a snob and I doubt either of us will have an impact on how Jeff decides to delete threads.

As it should be.

[Anonymous]

I want to know the outcome to this thread. Did the OP call the sitter's parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to know the outcome to this thread. Did the OP call the sitter's parents?

I do too.

Jeff, would you consider letting that OP repost in the teens forum? As a parent of a teen entering those years I would love to see how this one shakes out for OP.

Happy New Year.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know the outcome to this thread. Did the OP call the sitter's parents?

I do too.

Jeff, would you consider letting that OP repost in the teens forum? As a parent of a teen entering those years I would love to see how this one shakes out for OP.

Happy New Year.

Yes, if the OP wants to do that, I guess I would allow it.

[Anonymous]

Is the babysitter forum where you actually advertise for a sitter? That's all I see on the forum. I thought there was a classified section for people looking for and advertising babysitting services.