#2 while running- so embarrassed!!
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Anonymous
| a long time ago when the beltway still had many sections with trees instead of sound barrier walls, i was once stuck in a massive traffic jam. i suddenly heard some honking, looked around trying to figure out what idiot would do such thing when we were all in a dead stop. i then spotted a woman behind the bush with her white butt hanging out... |
Anonymous
|
After a night of drinking, my DH decided to "sweat it out" on the treadmill at the hotel where we were staying. He said he thought it was just a fart, but completely shit his pants. Luckily he made it to the bathroom before it leaked. Threw away his underwear at the gym.
Once I made myself a breakfast smoothie with whey protein powder. Got in the car to drive to work, took a couple sips, and felt some gurgling. Within a few short minutes I was doubled over with cramps and sweating stuck in traffic. I white knuckled it the whole way into the city, taking deep breaths. I parked my car in a parking garage inside a bus station and stiff-walked as fast as I could to he ladies room. Thank GOD for the piped in music that was playing. |
Anonymous
| Happened to me in the car the other day! White skirt ruined. |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry, OP. I had a college roommate who had IBS and she had several similar and unfortunate incidents because of it. |
Anonymous
| As angry as some people get about dogs pooping in their yard can you inline what souks have happened if the owner of the defiled bush gad been home! |
Anonymous
| Been there. I was about 15 minutes into a run when the gurgling started and I knew immediately that there would be no making it back to my house in time. It was broad daylight and I was wearing a neon pink shirt so there was no way I'd be able to sneak my behind a neighbor's bush to defile the shrubbery. Ended up walking like a jackass (a delightful combo of tight-assed prancing and power walking I'm sure) to minimize the sharting on the return trip, while praying my black capris would conceal the damage. Utter shit show. It happens to the best of us. |
Anonymous
I had this happen once. As they say, "shit happens". When you have to go, you have to go. |
Anonymous
| 23:29- I think there is a bathroom near the Vietnam, in one of those round buildings. Just in case there is ever a "next time." |
Anonymous
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It happens. I've seen it happen to fellow runners. I know a famous marathoner got diarrhea.
I have IBS and know where all the public restrooms are that will allow you to duck in quickly without paying. |
Anonymous
| Heading home early morning from Frostburg State to Annapolis, the urge hit. No gas stations open at exits. Finally hopped into some farmers field and let 'er rip. Sacrificed a pair of underwear for the cleanup. |
Anonymous
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This happened to me when I lived in Adams Morgan and used to run in Rock Creek Park. The worst was I was less than half a mile from home, but I just couldn't hold it. I wound up in a very thin patch of "woods" on Adams Mill Road down near the zoo. It was early in the morning, but anyone in the nearby apartment building could have seen me.
I have also done an emergency poop on the top of the Forte Di Belvedere in Florence. I guess the good news is that I am very rarely constipated... |
Anonymous
| This happened to me during my morning commute not long ago. Driving down 270, horrible traffic, and unexpectedly the low, urgent siren song of my bowels came calling. I was able to make it to an exit in Germantown, and pulled into the Whole Foods parking garage, thinking I might be able to make it in to the store. But no. It was not to be. The massive relief of being so close to the restroom triggered some kind of primordial "relaxation" reflex, and I had to go right then, right there. I had an empty canvas tote bag in my car, and grabbed that, and pulled down my pants and squatted next to my car in the garage for sweet relief. Luckily there were not many people in the vicinity. I put the tote bag in a garbage can and felt horrible about the situation I had created for the person who had to empty the can, but I could not think of a better solution. |
Anonymous
Similar but I made it to a Starbucks bathroom before my arse exploded. Not the toilet, though. It was everywhere. Goodbye underwear, there was no coming back from that. I cleaned up as best I could, but I felt bad for the next person to use the bathroom and employee to change the trash. |
Anonymous
| I feel bad for the people whose yard you crapped in. Send them an anonymous gift card or something! |
Anonymous
| Can I be your friend 21:51? I reread that about 5 times and am tearing up from laughing. A funny poop story never fails to entertain. |