Best friend dumps her kids on everyone

[Anonymous]

Why do you think the neighbor needs to be warned?

She knows these 4 boys. She knows they are trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sure you hate gossip?

This is between your friend and the neighbor. No need to worry about it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you wait for four hours before you called her?
DO NOT tell the other person that she may ask her to babysit!
What if she changes her mind? What if she decides to pay her?
Involving yourself just makes you "messy". Whatever issues you have with your friend deal with them with HER. Do not involve your 'other friend' under the guise of giving her a heads up. Let her handle her own business.

I disagree, I think she should ABSOLUTELY warn the other woman. Its hard to say no when put on the spot, so an advanced heads up would likely be very appreciated. This woman takes advantage of others and needs to be stopped.[/quote]
signed, Messy Molly who takes it upon herself to decide who needs have interference run for them and ends up wondering why no one can stand her busybody a**

[Anonymous]

Definitely warn the friend!

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

She claims my kids get nervous around her boys (I have 2 little girls who are shy).

Then she shouldn't dump her boys on you and your girls!

Fully agree. It is true that my girls are fine when I'm there and can keep everyone in check. I love her boys- but I don't want extra work so other people can save a little bit of money or relax when it's at my expense AND it was done in a sneaky way. If she asked me up front, that she wanted to have some quality time with her husband, and could I please help her, I would and have babysat for free. But I don't appreciate it when I'm put in a position where I can't say no(she did not answer her phone when I called and she was gone for 4 hours). It was also very inconvenient and I did not appreciate the disrespectful way she just assumed I could drop everything and stay home all day with her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend frequently tries to dump her rowdy boys on all of her friends. She has one special needs child too, so I understand why she wants or needs a break occasionally. The last straw for me was when she dumped her four boys (including the special needs boy who needs extra care) at my house for 4 hours so she could run errands and her husband to take a day off. I told her nicely that I could only help during emergencies but otherwise they'd need to hire a sitter (I have my own kids too). She told me recently that she is going to switch her children to the local public school, and has come up with the terrible idea of asking her neighbor to watch the boys in the morning for an hour, at her house, FOR FREE for the rest of the year. Neighbor is also close friend of mine. Do I warn her of my friend's future request? Watching four boys for an hour a day in the morning FOR FREE seems like a huge imposition to me, especially considering that my friend can afford to have someone watch them. Neighbor is a pushover, but eventually will explode and possibly end the friendship. I did tell my friend I considered this to be a bit of an imposition, but she claims it will not be a hassle at all. Thoughts? I hate to gossip.

Good on you for hating a gossip, OP. Everyone in their right mind hates a gossip. In this instance, it is not just gossip. The best friend is a user and needs to look elsewhere; she clearly spat out more kids than she could handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

She claims my kids get nervous around her boys (I have 2 little girls who are shy).

Then she shouldn't dump her boys on you and your girls!

Fully agree. It is true that my girls are fine when I'm there and can keep everyone in check. I love her boys- but I don't want extra work so other people can save a little bit of money or relax when it's at my expense AND it was done in a sneaky way. If she asked me up front, that she wanted to have some quality time with her husband, and could I please help her, I would and have babysat for free. But I don't appreciate it when I'm put in a position where I can't say no(she did not answer her phone when I called and she was gone for 4 hours). It was also very inconvenient and I did not appreciate the disrespectful way she just assumed I could drop everything and stay home all day with her kids.

+1

She is disrespectful, among other things. OP, you need to say something ASAP - or just not be available for her. Her needing a free babysitter is not your problem. My friend had a neighbor like this. When my friend said "no more" to free babysitting (after having enough; and because the neighbor had family close by who had also had enough) - the neighbor turned against her. No love lost.

It really doesn't matter how much you love your friend's children. Your friend is inappropriate. Also, I am curious how you handle the special needs? Did she tell you what to do/how to handle it? At the very least?

[Anonymous]

Is her name Charlotte? If so, run away quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Warn the other lady please, OP.

I am uncomfortable saying no, and I would appreciate someone warning me beforehand so that I can come up with a firm but polite negative. Your "friend" sounds like a piece of work!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said, "oh hello, I was told you were only bringing two of them!"

"Oh my husband had to do something and he said you would not mind watching them! I'm just down the block at the doctors. You don't mind do you? I just... Really need this now. Please! I can pay you if you really need it!"

"This is not what we agreed BFF! I love your kids but I can only watch them an hour. Okay?"

"Ok!"

-four plus hours later-

"THANK YOU THANK YOU! You have no idea no wonderful this break has been!"

"Hey you were supposed to be gone only an hour. I had to feed them lunch."

"Oh god what a ditz I am! I forgot. Well you did me such a favor. I won't forget it! Okay kids out!"

End scene.


Two weeks later she needed someone to watch her youngest for 20 minutes. I said no. A week after that I said no again. She got the message and found someone else to mooch off. I love hanging out with her one on one but that's it.

This. Coffee or lunch out only. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a pushover and I would watch her kids for an hour for free everyday.

I did a similar thing for a single mom in our neighborhood and it drove the other neighbors crazy that I did it for free. Idk why they cared, why do you care if the neighbor watches somebody else's kids for free?

Give us your address. We will send you the four terrors. (Not OP, by the way).

OP, I think there are a couple users here who don't want their cover blown. Warn your friend. She sounds like a better friend than the user.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who has 4 kids? Crazy.

+1

My first thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

She claims my kids get nervous around her boys (I have 2 little girls who are shy).

Then she shouldn't dump her boys on you and your girls!

Fully agree. It is true that my girls are fine when I'm there and can keep everyone in check. I love her boys- but I don't want extra work so other people can save a little bit of money or relax when it's at my expense AND it was done in a sneaky way. If she asked me up front, that she wanted to have some quality time with her husband, and could I please help her, I would and have babysat for free. But I don't appreciate it when I'm put in a position where I can't say no(she did not answer her phone when I called and she was gone for 4 hours). It was also very inconvenient and I did not appreciate the disrespectful way she just assumed I could drop everything and stay home all day with her kids.

+1

She is disrespectful, among other things. OP, you need to say something ASAP - or just not be available for her. Her needing a free babysitter is not your problem. My friend had a neighbor like this. When my friend said "no more" to free babysitting (after having enough; and because the neighbor had family close by who had also had enough) - the neighbor turned against her. No love lost.

It really doesn't matter how much you love your friend's children. Your friend is inappropriate. Also, I am curious how you handle the special needs? Did she tell you what to do/how to handle it? At the very least?

To be honest, I don't really know how to handle the special needs kid. And that is part of the reason why it is so uncomfortable for the boys at my house when they're "dumped" by their mom. They are wonderful boys, but he has significant needs and if something were to happen I would have no idea what to do. My friend claims her oldest can take care of the special needs boy, but this is not quite true. It's really unfair for the boys most of all. They KNOW the drill- mom says she will be right back and several hours she is still gone. At the very least they are comfortable at my house, but when it is someone they barely know (best friend burns through her friends quickly), they hate it.

Op

[Anonymous]

OP I'm curious as to why you continue to refer to her as your best friend. Is this really the best friend you have? Sounds like you (rightly so) don't like her much. I have a friend I enjoy spending time with who sounds similar to your friend...I can't eat out (or even order takeout) with her bc she will forget/refuse/ask not to pay. So, I gladly cook with her and find her funny and entertaining but that's it. So she's a fun acquaintance, but I'd never call her a BF.