Best friend dumps her kids on everyone

[Anonymous]

She asked me to watch one of her kids for an hour. I said yes. She then added in two more kids and asked for slightly over an hour. I said yes. She shows up with all four kids and doesn't come back for over four hours. She comes back with freshly done nails and and tells me how she managed to run all these errands and have a lovely lunch with her husband and thanked me. Meanwhile they destroyed my house and I used all the food that I was going to serve my kids for dinner to give them for lunch.

I find it interesting that a PP watches someone else's kids for free for an hour. The issue for me is that this is a reoccurring issue. She has tried to make me babysit for her kids multiple times and when I say no, she has actually said "because you couldn't watch them... I had to hire a sitter." I don't get this at all- we all have to hire an occasional sitter or a regular sitter.

Another point is that they can afford childcare. I would have less of an issue if money were tight. However if they had gone to a less fancy lunch place, they could have easily swung a sitter. Or they could have been upfront with me and I would have suggested some sort babysitting swap. She does this to people all the time, and then wonders why they don't call her anymore.

Op

[Anonymous]

So what did you do when all 4 kids showed up? Get a backbone and say no

[Anonymous]

Warn the other lady please, OP.

I am uncomfortable saying no, and I would appreciate someone warning me beforehand so that I can come up with a firm but polite negative. Your "friend" sounds like a piece of work!

[Anonymous]

I said, "oh hello, I was told you were only bringing two of them!"

"Oh my husband had to do something and he said you would not mind watching them! I'm just down the block at the doctors. You don't mind do you? I just... Really need this now. Please! I can pay you if you really need it!"

"This is not what we agreed BFF! I love your kids but I can only watch them an hour. Okay?"

"Ok!"

-four plus hours later-

"THANK YOU THANK YOU! You have no idea no wonderful this break has been!"

"Hey you were supposed to be gone only an hour. I had to feed them lunch."

"Oh god what a ditz I am! I forgot. Well you did me such a favor. I won't forget it! Okay kids out!"

End scene.


Two weeks later she needed someone to watch her youngest for 20 minutes. I said no. A week after that I said no again. She got the message and found someone else to mooch off. I love hanging out with her one on one but that's it.

[Anonymous]

OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Warn the other lady please, OP.

I am uncomfortable saying no, and I would appreciate someone warning me beforehand so that I can come up with a firm but polite negative. Your "friend" sounds like a piece of work!

This is what I was thinking.

"Hey neighbor... You know BFF is going to the neighborhood school next semester!! Isn't that great! I heard you were going to watch all four of her kids for an hour before school. wow you're nicer than me!"

Then she can say "hell no!" Or ask me to explain more. I can just say I got confused and thought it was a done deal.

Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

She claims my kids get nervous around her boys (I have 2 little girls who are shy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do you know your best friend wouldn't return the favor? Have you ever asked? Otherwise, how can she be your best friend if you can't talk to her about it?

She claims my kids get nervous around her boys (I have 2 little girls who are shy).

Then she shouldn't dump her boys on you and your girls!

[Anonymous]

Why would you wait for four hours before you called her?
DO NOT tell the other person that she may ask her to babysit!
What if she changes her mind? What if she decides to pay her?
Involving yourself just makes you "messy". Whatever issues you have with your friend deal with them with HER. Do not involve your 'other friend' under the guise of giving her a heads up. Let her handle her own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would warn the other friend so that she isn't caught off guard and can formulate a response before the request happens.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you wait for four hours before you called her?
DO NOT tell the other person that she may ask her to babysit!
What if she changes her mind? What if she decides to pay her?
Involving yourself just makes you "messy". Whatever issues you have with your friend deal with them with HER. Do not involve your 'other friend' under the guise of giving her a heads up. Let her handle her own business.

I disagree, I think she should ABSOLUTELY warn the other woman. Its hard to say no when put on the spot, so an advanced heads up would likely be very appreciated. This woman takes advantage of others and needs to be stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Warn the other lady please, OP.

I am uncomfortable saying no, and I would appreciate someone warning me beforehand so that I can come up with a firm but polite negative. Your "friend" sounds like a piece of work!

This is what I was thinking.

"Hey neighbor... You know BFF is going to the neighborhood school next semester!! Isn't that great! I heard you were going to watch all four of her kids for an hour before school. wow you're nicer than me!"

Then she can say "hell no!" Or ask me to explain more. I can just say I got confused and thought it was a done deal.

Op

That sounds like a very good plan. Go for it, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you wait for four hours before you called her?
DO NOT tell the other person that she may ask her to babysit!
What if she changes her mind? What if she decides to pay her?
Involving yourself just makes you "messy". Whatever issues you have with your friend deal with them with HER. Do not involve your 'other friend' under the guise of giving her a heads up. Let her handle her own business.

I disagree, I think she should ABSOLUTELY warn the other woman. Its hard to say no when put on the spot, so an advanced heads up would likely be very appreciated. This woman takes advantage of others and needs to be stopped.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Warn the other lady please, OP.

I am uncomfortable saying no, and I would appreciate someone warning me beforehand so that I can come up with a firm but polite negative. Your "friend" sounds like a piece of work!

This is what I was thinking.

"Hey neighbor... You know BFF is going to the neighborhood school next semester!! Isn't that great! I heard you were going to watch all four of her kids for an hour before school. wow you're nicer than me!"

Then she can say "hell no!" Or ask me to explain more. I can just say I got confused and thought it was a done deal.

Op

That sounds like a very good plan. Go for it, OP!

Eh this is too passive. Just be upfront and say "hey here's a heads up -- so and so is going to ask you to watch her kids everyday before school. I thought you would like to know so you can be prepared when she asks."

[Anonymous]

Definitely warn your friend so she has time to decide if she wants to do it or not and come up with a good reply.