Child Murdered at Fairfax County Daycare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is TODAY's post. The killer was found guilty today. I'm not pulling up something old.

Do you think it is responsible parenting to leave your child at a daycare that is not licensed, therefore no criminal background checks and no unannounced safety inspections? Would you really have no clue if your DCP was such a coke head that she had to score drugs in the middle of the day when she was supposed to be watching the kids?

For picking a daycare with no license, the parents bare some responsiblity. Unless you think it is OK to leave your children with someone who is not licensed. Not all parents make responsible decisions and often take short cuts where they shouldn't.

If you think I have a agenda, you are wrong. I'm a working mom who takes her child to a licensed home daycare. I spent a LONG time visiting many different locations until I found one with transparency and one that was fully licensed and insured.

I'm just curious how you know what type of investigation this mother conducted when searching for childcare, what this mother's financial situation was, whether or not she was told this daycare was licensed, etc. Your energy might be better focused on the blaming the druggie mother or her significant other than kicking this poor mother who has lost a child and will probably spend the rest of her life blaming herself for something that may or may not have been her fault. Even if the culmination of the trial was reported today, this incident took place three years ago. Again, what is your motivation for bringing this up? To warn people? To blame people? To feel better than other people? I sincerely hope nothing bad ever happens to you and hope you learn to put blame where it actually belongs. In this case, that would be the perpetrators of this terrible crime, not the bereaved mother. Consider this, a lot of people would consider you nuts for considering home daycare in the first place, licensed or not. Do you think it's OK for strangers to second-guess your childcare choices? Could your own choices be the reason this story is bringing out such anger and nastiness in you?

You made a good point. When we were looking for childcare, I resisted the idea of licensed in home daycare because it seemed less desirable or "safe". My son attends a day school, but something bad can happen anywhere, unfortunately. I've heard from the parents, whose children are my son's class, that they had incredible in home daycare providers while waiting for something to open up at a center. So I guess I was wrong in assuming in home daycare was subpar when compared to a center. This mother could have been waiting for something else to open up, or she might have known this person personally. I only have one child that needs childcare, but some people have more than one child to finance daycare. I don't think it's fair to blame the mother for her son's death-it's the asshole that beat the child to death!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you scream from um there because you're rich

if you were poor and had no choice you'd do THE SAME.

I am a 22 year old mother with a 3 year old and another on the way. I am by NO MEANS rich or even middle class. But I will tell you what, when it comes to having a child, if anybody has any common sense weather you are rich, poor, black, white, or whatever you will do what is best for your child. If you can't afford daycare, apply for assistance until you get yourself in a better place to where you can. If you can't afford to feed your kids, go to church food banks for help, if you can't afford to clothe your kids, go to thirft stores and spend $5.00 on a coat that's gently used and 2 seasons old. You do what you have to do that is BEST for your child. Even if that means you not eating for a couple days. I have never had to do these things but you have to be smart and sacrafice whatever it takes to make sure your kids are safe and healthy...NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! There is NO excuse. Not money, not situations, NOTHING. If you cannot handle it, give the child up for adoption and give it better shot at life rather than putting a poor innocent life at risk who did not ask to be brought into this world. THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE!! IT'S Even if your are rich, if you have a child, you have to sacrafice...get used to it that's what being a parent is all about. If you are poor, you make bigger sacrafices but you brought the baby into the world so you need to re-think your post.

[Anonymous]

How is this any different from leaving a loaded weapon in the nightstand and you kid finds it and kills himself. It is tragic, but precautions should have been taken to prevent this. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your child and you can argue all day long, but there is no excuse for leaving you child in an unlicenced daycare with a drug addict and a person with a violent criminal record that dates back since the convicted was 15 years old

True, there anr no guarantees with any daycare, but as a responsible parent we try to minimize the risk by not exposing our children to coke heads and criminals.

Pleading economics and ignorance is weak. I'm happy to see the young mom posting here has her priorities straight.

[Anonymous]

Bad things can happen anywhere, is your child ever really safe?

Husband of day care provider charged in sex abuse
April 28, 2009 - 5:47pm

FREDERICK, Md. - The husband of a Frederick day care provider has been charged with abusing one of the children in his wife's care, Maryland State Police say.

Sixty-seven-year-old Robert W. Fry has been charged with sexual abuse of a minor, third-degree sex offense and second-degree assault. He was arrested on Monday.

Troopers said the victim is a four-year-old. The child's mother contacted state police on April 14 and told troopers the child said the alleged sexual abuse took place one day between March 25 and April 12 in Fry's home.

The day-care license was put on emergency suspension April 14.


(Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)
FREDERICK, Md. - The husband of a Frederick day care provider has been charged with abusing one of the children in his wife's care, Maryland State Police say.

Sixty-seven-year-old Robert W. Fry has been charged with sexual abuse of a minor, third-degree sex offense and second-degree assault. He was arrested on Monday.

Troopers said the victim is a four-year-old. The child's mother contacted state police on April 14 and told troopers the child said the alleged sexual abuse took place one day between March 25 and April 12 in Fry's home.

The day-care license was put on emergency suspension April 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this any different from leaving a loaded weapon in the nightstand and you kid finds it and kills himself. It is tragic, but precautions should have been taken to prevent this. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your child and you can argue all day long, but there is no excuse for leaving you child in an unlicenced daycare with a drug addict and a person with a violent criminal record that dates back since the convicted was 15 years old

True, there anr no guarantees with any daycare, but as a responsible parent we try to minimize the risk by not exposing our children to coke heads and criminals.

Pleading economics and ignorance is weak. I'm happy to see the young mom posting here has her priorities straight.

Again, someone makes the baseless assumption that the mother knew the daycare was unlicensed and futher stretching the imagination, knew the providers were on drugs and left her child there anyway. How did anyone pick this up from the article? I read the article and it said nothing about what the mother knew. And as far as the young mother with her priorites straight-blaming some bereaved stranger who's lost a child simply to make yourself better is having your priorities straight? WTF? This mother doesn't sound smart as much as she sounds self-righteous in a somewhat unbalanced way. Leave this poor mom alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this any different from leaving a loaded weapon in the nightstand and you kid finds it and kills himself. It is tragic, but precautions should have been taken to prevent this. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your child and you can argue all day long, but there is no excuse for leaving you child in an unlicenced daycare with a drug addict and a person with a violent criminal record that dates back since the convicted was 15 years old

True, there anr no guarantees with any daycare, but as a responsible parent we try to minimize the risk by not exposing our children to coke heads and criminals.

Pleading economics and ignorance is weak. I'm happy to see the young mom posting here has her priorities straight.

Again, someone makes the baseless assumption that the mother knew the daycare was unlicensed and futher stretching the imagination, knew the providers were on drugs and left her child there anyway. How did anyone pick this up from the article? I read the article and it said nothing about what the mother knew. And as far as the young mother with her priorites straight-blaming some bereaved stranger who's lost a child simply to make yourself better is having your priorities straight? WTF? This mother doesn't sound smart as much as she sounds self-righteous in a somewhat unbalanced way. Leave this poor mom alone.

If you read the article, no where does it say the daycare was not licensed.

[Anonymous]

Just realized(vision: large lightbulb over brain) this thread was started by a troll, took some innocents in, trolls resurfaced just to keep things going and I, again an innocent, was taken in and continued to respond. Weev-I know you're out there somewhere. Lose the hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you scream from um there because you're rich

if you were poor and had no choice you'd do THE SAME.

I am a 22 year old mother with a 3 year old and another on the way. I am by NO MEANS rich or even middle class. But I will tell you what, when it comes to having a child, if anybody has any common sense weather you are rich, poor, black, white, or whatever you will do what is best for your child. If you can't afford daycare, apply for assistance until you get yourself in a better place to where you can. If you can't afford to feed your kids, go to church food banks for help, if you can't afford to clothe your kids, go to thirft stores and spend $5.00 on a coat that's gently used and 2 seasons old. You do what you have to do that is BEST for your child. Even if that means you not eating for a couple days. I have never had to do these things but you have to be smart and sacrafice whatever it takes to make sure your kids are safe and healthy...NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! There is NO excuse. Not money, not situations, NOTHING. If you cannot handle it, give the child up for adoption and give it better shot at life rather than putting a poor innocent life at risk who did not ask to be brought into this world. THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE!! IT'S Even if your are rich, if you have a child, you have to sacrafice...get used to it that's what being a parent is all about. If you are poor, you make bigger sacrafices but you brought the baby into the world so you need to re-think your post.

OH PLEASE! Get off your high horse! There is always a choice and the woman chose to put her baby in in home daycare. That was HER choice. It does NOT mean that it was HER MISTAKE that the baby was killed. Should she have given the baby up for adoption rather than put him in inhome daycare??????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OH PLEASE! Get off your high horse! There is always a choice and the woman chose to put her baby in in home daycare. That was HER choice. It does NOT mean that it was HER MISTAKE that the baby was killed. Should she have given the baby up for adoption rather than put him in inhome daycare??????????

22 year old mom here again. It's not necessarily a home daycare issue. I have friends with children in home daycares and I had actually considered putting my DD in a home daycare, but no matter where you put your child you always research. Licenses are not private, they are public knowledge. Ask to see a copy, call your county and confirm it is real and not out dated. If they have had violations you can research what the violations were (i.e. ratio violations, safety hazards, ect) This is your childs life. You are trusting someone with your child’s life-take the extra steps. If the home daycare provider has personal errands to run then another licesensed professional needs to come cover-not just her husband or sister or brother or wait until all children are gone for the day. Again, I don’t care how old you are, what color you are-if you have common sense and love your child you will do what it takes to keep them safe and healthy. If you cannot do that, then yes, you need to give your child up; for adoption and give them a better chance at living life. If this mother was not smart enough to do research and know to look into these things, where is her family and friends to give her advice and guide her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this any different from leaving a loaded weapon in the nightstand and you kid finds it and kills himself. It is tragic, but precautions should have been taken to prevent this. It is your responsibility as a parent to protect your child and you can argue all day long, but there is no excuse for leaving you child in an unlicenced daycare with a drug addict and a person with a violent criminal record that dates back since the convicted was 15 years old

True, there anr no guarantees with any daycare, but as a responsible parent we try to minimize the risk by not exposing our children to coke heads and criminals.

Pleading economics and ignorance is weak. I'm happy to see the young mom posting here has her priorities straight.

Again, someone makes the baseless assumption that the mother knew the daycare was unlicensed and futher stretching the imagination, knew the providers were on drugs and left her child there anyway. How did anyone pick this up from the article? I read the article and it said nothing about what the mother knew. And as far as the young mother with her priorites straight-blaming some bereaved stranger who's lost a child simply to make yourself better is having your priorities straight? WTF? This mother doesn't sound smart as much as she sounds self-righteous in a somewhat unbalanced way. Leave this poor mom alone.

If you read the article, no where does it say the daycare was not licensed.

Other papers reported that it was unlicensed, excerpt:

Jillian Ahmad operated an unlicensed day-care center out of the townhouse where she lived with her husband on the 6400 block of Silver Ridge Circle in Kingstowne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OH PLEASE! Get off your high horse! There is always a choice and the woman chose to put her baby in in home daycare. That was HER choice. It does NOT mean that it was HER MISTAKE that the baby was killed. Should she have given the baby up for adoption rather than put him in inhome daycare??????????

22 year old mom here again. It's not necessarily a home daycare issue. I have friends with children in home daycares and I had actually considered putting my DD in a home daycare, but no matter where you put your child you always research. Licenses are not private, they are public knowledge. Ask to see a copy, call your county and confirm it is real and not out dated. If they have had violations you can research what the violations were (i.e. ratio violations, safety hazards, ect) This is your childs life. You are trusting someone with your child’s life-take the extra steps. If the home daycare provider has personal errands to run then another licesensed professional needs to come cover-not just her husband or sister or brother or wait until all children are gone for the day. Again, I don’t care how old you are, what color you are-if you have common sense and love your child you will do what it takes to keep them safe and healthy. If you cannot do that, then yes, you need to give your child up; for adoption and give them a better chance at living life. If this mother was not smart enough to do research and know to look into these things, where is her family and friends to give her advice and guide her?

You completely blow the sterotypes away surrounding young mothers. What you are describing is what EVERY parent should be doing. It is amazinng that mom's probably a dacade or more older than you (and supposedly wiser) is defending the decision to leave a child at a place that has not had the minimum amount of vetting. Who sends their kids to an unlicensed daycare? It is hard enough to leave your kid when you have to go to work, but to leave them somewhere completely unregulated is just nuts.

If this mom had cared that the daycare was licensed, her kid would not be dead today. THis is a simple fact. To be a licensed daycare, no one living in the house can be a convicted criminal. He had a violent record in Prince William, Fairfax, and Faquier. The woman running the daycare was 21years old and clearly did not have the maturity of the above poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

22 year old mom here again. It's not necessarily a home daycare issue. I have friends with children in home daycares and I had actually considered putting my DD in a home daycare, but no matter where you put your child you always research. Licenses are not private, they are public knowledge. Ask to see a copy, call your county and confirm it is real and not out dated. If they have had violations you can research what the violations were (i.e. ratio violations, safety hazards, ect) This is your childs life. You are trusting someone with your child’s life-take the extra steps. If the home daycare provider has personal errands to run then another licesensed professional needs to come cover-not just her husband or sister or brother or wait until all children are gone for the day. Again, I don’t care how old you are, what color you are-if you have common sense and love your child you will do what it takes to keep them safe and healthy. If you cannot do that, then yes, you need to give your child up; for adoption and give them a better chance at living life. If this mother was not smart enough to do research and know to look into these things, where is her family and friends to give her advice and guide her?

You completely blow the sterotypes away surrounding young mothers. What you are describing is what EVERY parent should be doing. It is amazinng that mom's probably a dacade or more older than you (and supposedly wiser) is defending the decision to leave a child at a place that has not had the minimum amount of vetting. Who sends their kids to an unlicensed daycare? It is hard enough to leave your kid when you have to go to work, but to leave them somewhere completely unregulated is just nuts.

If this mom had cared that the daycare was licensed, her kid would not be dead today. THis is a simple fact. To be a licensed daycare, no one living in the house can be a convicted criminal. He had a violent record in Prince William, Fairfax, and Faquier. The woman running the daycare was 21years old and clearly did not have the maturity of the above poster.
22 yo again-When I first found out I was pregnant with my first, towards the end of my pregnancy I started researching daycares even though I knew there would be 6 weeks after the baby was born that I would have but I knew it would not be an easy decision at all. Even after multiple visits to the daycare and lots of research and 3 years later it is still hard for me. I am pregnant with baby number 2 and it’s still going to be hard.

Now, in defense of your second statement. Accidents do happen. Children fall and bump heads, floors and surfaces cannot always be padded however beatings are never accidents. Period. I can’t even comprehend how others are defending that this mother was NOT in the wrong? When it comes to children you get one chance, once they are gone there is no replacing them. It’s sad to see so many people actually thinking financial status and age makes it okay to make poor decisions and risk an innocent life.

[Anonymous]

PP-do you honestly believe that this mother knowingly sent her child to daycare to have him beaten to death? I mean, really, that is ridiculous. I don't think any mother would knowingly put their child in harm's way, some may be more cautious than others, and some may be more paranoid. I can't believe you actually think that the mother is to blame! What if she was divorced, with 2 kids, had a mortgage, and was just getting by? Maybe she knew this woman personally, or was a neighbor.

[Anonymous]

My mother kicked my step father out and that left her with 4 kids (we were all under the age of 12 at the time), bought a townhouse and just after her divorce got pregnant with number 5. We never starved, went to "shady" babysitters, and my youngest brother never went to any sort of unlicensed daycare no matter how bad my mother was struggling. We still all had school supplies and ate heathy food every single day even if that meant she had to give up the world. If she knew this woman then i would hope she could tell a cocain addict! It's not too hard to decipher. If she was a neighbor and she didn't know her very well then she should ask for references or ask other neighbors. THERE ARE ALWAYS CHOICES!!! I hope as I grow older I don't grow less mature and less wise like it seems some of you are. Makes me want to stay 22 and keep getting the dirty looks and keep letting people think that just because of my age I can't handle or shouldn't be a parent. Obviously age has no bearing on anything.

[Anonymous]

I'm always amazed by all these people having children and then dumping them with someone else every day. It's ridiculous. Maybe stop having children if you don't want to take care of them.