Husband not consulting me on in-law decisions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really like the PP's idea of submitting a forwarding address form for their mail coming to your house.

That's brilliant.

+1.

They need to stop being cheap and get their own netflix account.

Your husband needs to learn that he is not the only person in the marriage and that he needs to talk to you about decisions that will affect you. Maybe you should make a bunch of decisions regarding your parents or the kids and see how he likes it.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Every time I "give" anything to my family, I consult with DH. My family is poor so it's usually money or clothes or something necessary. Intellectually I know he won't say no but still, I treat him like I'd like to be treated. I don't understand why he can't do the same with me. What is so hard about saying:
Let me talk to Wife about that rather than just saying yes?
At this point I am fine being the bad guy. I got a parking ticket because of their actions (using our address so I didn't get parking passes) and sense them, I just realized, I have to protect myself from their selfishness.

I also wonder where it will end. Just how far will these over reaches extend? That's why I have to nip it in the bud.

I don't know how to do that without getting angry.

He's been a little testy today too. Our child got hurt at preschool and he ignored my calls for 3 hours. Makes me feel used.

That's how i feel in one word: Used by all three of them.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say the same thing, OP. The real issue is bigger, but it is being seen as a Netflix account, etc...

I've dealt with this issue myself. DH and I attended counseling because of my FIL and the issues they have in their relationship. For us, the counselor brought up childhood issues that needed to be dealt with. Honestly, I never was able to bring up FIL without DH getting upset. It had to come straight from the counselor. DH had to learn to listen without getting upset and I had to learn to be patient when it comes to FIL.

It may be time to call and make an appointment with someone who can get through to him? Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Every time I "give" anything to my family, I consult with DH. My family is poor so it's usually money or clothes or something necessary. Intellectually I know he won't say no but still, I treat him like I'd like to be treated. I don't understand why he can't do the same with me. What is so hard about saying:
Let me talk to Wife about that rather than just saying yes?
At this point I am fine being the bad guy. I got a parking ticket because of their actions (using our address so I didn't get parking passes) and sense them, I just realized, I have to protect myself from their selfishness.

I also wonder where it will end. Just how far will these over reaches extend? That's why I have to nip it in the bud.

I don't know how to do that without getting angry.

He's been a little testy today too. Our child got hurt at preschool and he ignored my calls for 3 hours. Makes me feel used.

That's how i feel in one word: Used by all three of them.