Isn't it a bit insensitive for parents to constantly post the little pre parties and post parties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not on Facebook. That, and privacy.

+1 million and also who are these people and where do they find the time???

[Anonymous]

I don't have, never did Facebook so I'm wondering, is this lady sending you pictures or are you looking them up ? Either way, Facebook is poison.

If you are looking at their pages, you are making yourself miserable. Do you really want your kid to be friends with people like that ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew a mom at a top private who was a complete wackadoodle. She was a climber and constantly trying to get friends through her children's social interactions (playdates, activities, etc). She was always talking about who she knew (although very superficially), which neighborhood she lived in (although worst house in said neighborhood), how rude, mean, or ill-mannered other people where (blind to her own behavior), and always wanted to know what everyone else was doing after school or on weekends. Once people got to know her they realized she was crazy, insecure, hypocritical, and socially intolerable. This realization would result in them stepping back from the relationship and putting a wall up. Not wanting to be rude or cause an inappropriate confrontation, many people never actually told her she was crazy and had issues, they just quietly backed off or remained very superficial with her. She did not take this backing off very well and became even more crazy, insecure, and socially intolerable. She even blamed other people (paranoia) for her lack of friends and inability to climb higher up the social ladder. She completely lacked the insight that it was she who was the problem and no one else. Unfortunately, people like this will never change. Their psychological issues run deep and they will always live in a state of angst. Very sad and pathetic situation, especially for the children who will likely learn from her bad habits and continue the cycle or be damaged emotionally themselves.

That being said, get over your issues with social media posts. Whether bad or good, they are part of our life and children's future. Do not pass your insecurity and jealousy issues with it onto your children, instead teach them to be confident and imposer them to have their own party and make new friends.

This post sounds like you may be the one with the deep seeded issues because why would you write up such a long post about someone that has nothing to do with this thread? Strange.

[Anonymous]

The social media posts don't bug me at all, we are not users anyway. What bothers me, though, is when my kid is the one being left out of things because we aren't part of the ruling clique at our small private. It has happened more times than I can count. And they wonder why we stopped donating . . .

[Anonymous]

11:45, Maybe because the OP sounds just like this person. Struggling with social issues inappropriately and expecting to be included in every social activity. Feeling left out when not and blaming it on people being rude or ill-mannered. An adult responding like they are in middle school all over again. It's a lesson through a story, like an after school special. Don't let this happen to you, empower your children to have appropriate social reactions/responses.

[Anonymous]

There's no rule that says that you can't post pictures of an event that excludes others but most decent and kind people i know do avoid posting.

If my kid has a birthday party that excludes some of his friends (based on size limitations) by all means, I DON'T post pictures of it on Facebook! Why do something that risks making other feel bad? Why not just err on the side of being kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no rule that says that you can't post pictures of an event that excludes others but most decent and kind people i know do avoid posting.

If my kid has a birthday party that excludes some of his friends (based on size limitations) by all means, I DON'T post pictures of it on Facebook! Why do something that risks making other feel bad? Why not just err on the side of being kind?

Exactly. This is a normal and kind reply. I agree with you and with the op.

[Anonymous]

Wait, I do not understand. These are pre-parties before what? Prom? Homecoming? B-day parties? Or, again, post-parties after what? Prom? Homecoming? B-day parties?

Maybe you are talking about high school kids and these are pre/post parties before/after Homecoming? (though, has any school had any Homecomings yet? It seems a bit early in the season, but. . .)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:45, Maybe because the OP sounds just like this person. Struggling with social issues inappropriately and expecting to be included in every social activity. Feeling left out when not and blaming it on people being rude or ill-mannered. An adult responding like they are in middle school all over again. It's a lesson through a story, like an after school special. Don't let this happen to you, empower your children to have appropriate social reactions/responses.

Still sounds weird and on another note maybe if you showed a little more kindness you could have helped her. Also who is the mean one here with you commenting on how terrible her house is?

[Anonymous]

12:00 With or without FB you still have to teach your child how to handle less ideal social situations, like not getting invited to every event. This happened before FB and it will happen after. If they don't see it on FB, they will no doubt hear about it in school or on the soccer field. People share fun times in their lives and often do not have the intention of harming others, but word gets out. Even if the host doesn't post or talk, someone else might not knowing anyone was left out. It is for this reason, that I agree with others about teaching your children how to have confidence and deal with situations like this appropriately instead of letting them damage your psyche and ruin your life. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

12:03 OP stated this was in elementary school, so sounds like a Cotillion issue to me. Many recent FB posts this past week/weekend sharing Cotillion pre and post gatherings. That would be my guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:03 OP stated this was in elementary school, so sounds like a Cotillion issue to me. Many recent FB posts this past week/weekend sharing Cotillion pre and post gatherings. That would be my guess.

Ohhhhhh! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:00 With or without FB you still have to teach your child how to handle less ideal social situations, like not getting invited to every event. This happened before FB and it will happen after. If they don't see it on FB, they will no doubt hear about it in school or on the soccer field. People share fun times in their lives and often do not have the intention of harming others, but word gets out. Even if the host doesn't post or talk, someone else might not knowing anyone was left out. It is for this reason, that I agree with others about teaching your children how to have confidence and deal with situations like this appropriately instead of letting them damage your psyche and ruin your life. Just saying.

Op here. Once again my child was NOT left out. My child was in fact at another party and is not even in the same grade as other parents so he would not be invited anyway. It was just a mere expression of something I have seen on Facebook and shared my thoughts. I am neither insecure or jealous but actually just feel badly for those that were not at any parties. Is it that hard to believe that I could have an opinion or care about something that does not have to be about me or my child?

[Anonymous]

12:06 Apologize if post sounded in sensitive, just trying to show example in a quick post so being short and not drawing it out for too long. Comment about house was not stating their house was terrible, just stating that it was nothing to brag about as person was. Also, this person was shown lots of kindness, tolerance, and patience but it did not help situation. Person kept going with behavior and people kept eventually moving out of the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not on Facebook. That, and privacy.

+1 million and also who are these people and where do they find the time???

OP, think about the moms who post these things. These are not people you want to be friends with and they will never "get it" or change their ways, ever.