My 22 year old sister is out of control - help!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

Np here - no it wasn't clear.

What part of "half sister" was not clear? And how are you helping OP when you lack basic reading comprehension?

She's not describing a "half sister". That is why this is all unclear! How about your basic reading comprehension since you could not pick that up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

OP here. I did make that clear and clearly you did not understand by the above portion. Let me explain - a step sibling is when they don't share DNA. A half sibling is when they share a parent.

Now let me explain ( though I did 3 times). She is my half-sister. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad ( my step-dad). My parents for divorced and my mom remarried and had my sister. This makes her my half-sister. She lives with both of her bio parents.

[Anonymous]

How old are you Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you Op?

Why is this relevant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

OP here. I did make that clear and clearly you did not understand by the above portion. Let me explain - a step sibling is when they don't share DNA. A half sibling is when they share a parent.

Now let me explain ( though I did 3 times). She is my half-sister. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad ( my step-dad). My parents for divorced and my mom remarried and had my sister. This makes her my half-sister. She lives with both of her bio parents.

NP, I get the connection, but the way you initially worded it, immediatelly mentioning it was your step-dad's bio child and not mentioning your mom, is likely what caused the confusion. Either way you have a defensive attitude, which really isn't warranted when you are the one asking for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you Op?

Why is this relevant?

It was just a question. I asked to get a feel for the family dynamics involved.

Are you working, married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you being snippy with people who are sincerely trying to help? Sheesh.

The whole family is a basket case. Let's bear with OP.

[Anonymous]

OP again.

She is my half-sister and lives with both her bio parents ( our mom and her dad). I am not trying to be snarky or put down the al - anon. I am open to going for them.

I think most of you are right. My parents are so in denial and will never cut her off. I found out last night that she is also using coke and has tried meth. My mom is mentally ill and refuses to be medicated. I'm sure she may have something. I think this is beyond the normal 20's partying. Being on drugs and drunk all day, everyday is an issue. Waking up and drinking and doing drugs is not normal.

I'm just worried. My fear is she will end up dead. I am in my mid 20's, not on drugs, drink socially, and I'm in school. Funny thing is I was always the one that had boundaries and been disciplined. Both of them favored her over my brother and I. He is a well respected attorney and I am on my way to becoming a neonatal nurse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

No you are incorrect. She can only be your half sibling if she shares one of your parents with you. She would be your half sister if your mom and step dad had a kid. Or she would be your half sister if your dad and a step mom had a kid.




Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

OP here. I did make that clear and clearly you did not understand by the above portion. Let me explain - a step sibling is when they don't share DNA. A half sibling is when they share a parent.

Now let me explain ( though I did 3 times). She is my half-sister. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad ( my step-dad). My parents for divorced and my mom remarried and had my sister. This makes her my half-sister. She lives with both of her bio parents.

Okay, but you were NOT clear about that. Your post keeps making it sound like she's living with her BIO dad. And then you refer to your mom as YOUR bio mom. You never say your mom is also her mom. Holy crap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you Op?

Why is this relevant?

It was just a question. I asked to get a feel for the family dynamics involved.

Are you working, married?

Not a problem! I'm 26, in school, and not married. I have a stable relationship and live on my own. My brother is 29, great law career, and just got engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

OP here. I did make that clear and clearly you did not understand by the above portion. Let me explain - a step sibling is when they don't share DNA. A half sibling is when they share a parent.

Now let me explain ( though I did 3 times). She is my half-sister. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad ( my step-dad). My parents for divorced and my mom remarried and had my sister. This makes her my half-sister. She lives with both of her bio parents.

NP, I get the connection, but the way you initially worded it, immediatelly mentioning it was your step-dad's bio child and not mentioning your mom, is likely what caused the confusion. Either way you have a defensive attitude, which really isn't warranted when you are the one asking for advice.

Not the OP, but seriously. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

She is my half-sister and lives with both her bio parents ( our mom and her dad). I am not trying to be snarky or put down the al - anon. I am open to going for them.

I think most of you are right. My parents are so in denial and will never cut her off. I found out last night that she is also using coke and has tried meth. My mom is mentally ill and refuses to be medicated. I'm sure she may have something. I think this is beyond the normal 20's partying. Being on drugs and drunk all day, everyday is an issue. Waking up and drinking and doing drugs is not normal.

I'm just worried. My fear is she will end up dead. I am in my mid 20's, not on drugs, drink socially, and I'm in school. Funny thing is I was always the one that had boundaries and been disciplined. Both of them favored her over my brother and I. He is a well respected attorney and I am on my way to becoming a neonatal nurse.

It is difficult to see the family resources being drained by a person who is probably using them to her own detriment. In the meantime, you and your brother have your noses to the grindstone and are doing everything right.....yet, everything that you've accomplished gets overshadowed somehow by your sister's reckless behavior. All the time, attention, mental energy of your mom is directed at HER. I'm sure that is beyond frustrating.

I think you should go to al anon and see if they can give you some advice as to how to approach your mom and step dad. Maybe you can convince one or both of them to come to a meeting with you. This problem wasn't created overnight and it won't be solved overnight. And you will be limited by what you can really do for your sister because ultimately SHE is the one who needs to want to get a handle on her problems.

Hang in there and keep focusing on your own goals. Don't let your worry for your sister sidetrack you - that won't help anyone. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any involvement from her biological mother?

Yes..I made that clear in my post. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad. Her dad does acknowledge something is wrong but blames on her friends. He is always saying " if she didn't hang out with them, she wouldn't be doing this". My uncle ( his brother) told him he can't out it off in his friends. Yes they are enabling it but they aren't forcing her. She needs to take responsibility for her own actions and not blame everyone else.

No we have not gone to anything. I don't think it will help unless she makes that first step. I don't see her stopping until a court or someone orders her to rehab.

I'm not the PP, but your post did not make the family tree clear at all.

I agree with PPs. If you are going to be so unpleasant on this thread, why should anyone bother to offer advice? Improve your attitude. That probably goes for real life, too.

Yes she did. First two sentences of post.

NP here. She did not make it clear. First off she's calling her a half-sister. If this is her step-dad's child then she is a step sister. Another poster asked if the bio mom was involved. OP came back and said she had made that clear in her first post and then referred back to her own mom. Her own mom would be the step mom.

OP here. I did make that clear and clearly you did not understand by the above portion. Let me explain - a step sibling is when they don't share DNA. A half sibling is when they share a parent.

Now let me explain ( though I did 3 times). She is my half-sister. She lives with our bio mom and her bio dad ( my step-dad). My parents for divorced and my mom remarried and had my sister. This makes her my half-sister. She lives with both of her bio parents.

NP, I get the connection, but the way you initially worded it, immediatelly mentioning it was your step-dad's bio child and not mentioning your mom, is likely what caused the confusion. Either way you have a defensive attitude, which really isn't warranted when you are the one asking for advice.

Not the OP, but seriously. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

Calm the fuck down.

[Anonymous]

Has your brother tried to help? Wondering what his input on this is