Is private school an option for a child with mild SN?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son will be entering PK3 this fall. We have a spot at a well-regarded charter and have recently been offered a spot at a small private school. Each offers its advantages and disadvantages regarding cost, commute, curriculum, and long-term potential. We have an IEP, and the charter school will provide the services. The private school cannot provide the services, but have said they will work with his differences within the class. My son's delays are primarily in social, sensory, and speech. They are not severe; he has remained in normal day care and is fully able to participate in normal classroom activities. He's made great progress with his OT and SLP, and we plan on maintaining all of his private services regardless of where he goes to school.

Given all of this, does anyone have experience with sending a mild SN child to a private? I understand the IEP requirement in't there, but we will maintain outside services and I think my son will benefit from the smaller community and classes. We love the school and see it as having much more long-term potential for us than the charter. We may be able to get into this private school again in a couple of years, but who knows? The charter is very well-regarded, very convenient, and I think will be able to provide wonderful support, but we still don't have a great feel for the future and it offers little in the way of foreign language (important to us; our son is currently bilingual).

Not sure either is a bad choice, but not sure which is better. Would love to get some insight from others who have been there or know more about the private side than I do. TIA!

If the private has told you up front that they will not help with the expenses of supporting your child's needs then the charter is the better option. Often speech issues are temporary so perhaps get the services from the charter than transfer him to private later. Of course if money is no object then you will provide all of the necessary services out of pocket and do what you want.

Either way child needs private services. No private school, even most of the special needs, except LEAP will give true individual speech therapy and either you private pay for their therapist at the school or go outside. I would not put a speech delayed child in a language immersion as they are struggling with speech/language and cannot respond to show knowledge which will frustrate a lot of teachers.

You've posted this before on other threads and this is simply not true. Many schools both SN and mainstream offer ST during the day.

[Anonymous]

Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

No need to get all huffy. I am the same pp who had to choose between a main stream private and a charter when DS was starting school. DS like OP's kid has what we thought were "mild" SNs when he was little but as they get older, their profile gets more clear and one can better choose the schools that are a better fit.

But for nursery and elementary, choose public. Better supports in case your child needs it. Do private for middle or later.

Her child is not your child or my child so your choice or our choices may not be best for her child. Clearly you missed things early on with your child that OP is not. We did a small private and supplemented heavily with private therapy and its worked out great. We were told my child's needs were far more severe than they were and now at almost 6, he's catching up nicely. No academic concerns. It can go either way so OP should choose what she feels is best. For us, early supports and individual attention were far more important early on. You worry about middle school at middle school. Right now she needs to focus on the early years and small classes with more individual support are far better.

So your child is in K or First grade? Will you come back to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

Yes, our school only goes to 3nd grade so we'll either change for 1st or second. My kid missed the school cut off so going into K. Academically should be 1st grade so we supplement at home. He's probably be fine this year its affordable so we'd rather give him an extra year to fully catch up and avoid an IEP so he isn't labeled long term. And, he's happy there and wants to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son will be entering PK3 this fall. We have a spot at a well-regarded charter and have recently been offered a spot at a small private school. Each offers its advantages and disadvantages regarding cost, commute, curriculum, and long-term potential. We have an IEP, and the charter school will provide the services. The private school cannot provide the services, but have said they will work with his differences within the class. My son's delays are primarily in social, sensory, and speech. They are not severe; he has remained in normal day care and is fully able to participate in normal classroom activities. He's made great progress with his OT and SLP, and we plan on maintaining all of his private services regardless of where he goes to school.

Given all of this, does anyone have experience with sending a mild SN child to a private? I understand the IEP requirement in't there, but we will maintain outside services and I think my son will benefit from the smaller community and classes. We love the school and see it as having much more long-term potential for us than the charter. We may be able to get into this private school again in a couple of years, but who knows? The charter is very well-regarded, very convenient, and I think will be able to provide wonderful support, but we still don't have a great feel for the future and it offers little in the way of foreign language (important to us; our son is currently bilingual).

Not sure either is a bad choice, but not sure which is better. Would love to get some insight from others who have been there or know more about the private side than I do. TIA!

If the private has told you up front that they will not help with the expenses of supporting your child's needs then the charter is the better option. Often speech issues are temporary so perhaps get the services from the charter than transfer him to private later. Of course if money is no object then you will provide all of the necessary services out of pocket and do what you want.

Either way child needs private services. No private school, even most of the special needs, except LEAP will give true individual speech therapy and either you private pay for their therapist at the school or go outside. I would not put a speech delayed child in a language immersion as they are struggling with speech/language and cannot respond to show knowledge which will frustrate a lot of teachers.

You've posted this before on other threads and this is simply not true. Many schools both SN and mainstream offer ST during the day.

When we called Maddox and some of the other schools, they did not provide individual speech - only group. Maddox told us if we wanted individual we had to pay for their speech therapist, whom they pushed and discouraged us from staying with our private, which was covered under insurance. Public schools obviously offer it, but I have yet to see any privates that offer it as part of the regular fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

Yes, our school only goes to 3nd grade so we'll either change for 1st or second. My kid missed the school cut off so going into K. Academically should be 1st grade so we supplement at home. He's probably be fine this year its affordable so we'd rather give him an extra year to fully catch up and avoid an IEP so he isn't labeled long term. And, he's happy there and wants to stay.

You should name the private school so OP can consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

Yes, our school only goes to 3nd grade so we'll either change for 1st or second. My kid missed the school cut off so going into K. Academically should be 1st grade so we supplement at home. He's probably be fine this year its affordable so we'd rather give him an extra year to fully catch up and avoid an IEP so he isn't labeled long term. And, he's happy there and wants to stay.

IEPs don't follow a child long term. It is reviewed annually and the goal is to not have an IEP after a couple of years.
e

[Anonymous]

Private nursery schools are fine. Most parents in MoCo who have kids in PEP send them to both, PEP in the morning and private in the afternoon or visa versa. Supplement with private services as needed. Academic demands are low.

If you are considering a DC charter however, their preschools are more academic generally even though everyone claims to be "play based" so definitely get an IEP if you go. All the highly regarded ones, CMI, bridges, etc act as their own LEA and have experience with kids with SNs.

The DC mainstream private schools generally do not and most will not hesitate to counsel you out if they feel they cannot meet a child's needs.

[Anonymous]

Also, as a side note and I only know this about our immersion language charter: it use to be that kids were sent for an evaluation as soon as they entered in prek3/4 if an issue was suspected but now the school will wait until K or even 1st grade to suggest an evaluation so much for early intervention. Most kids are "mild" SN bc it's immersion language and no parent who knows their kid has issues will consider it for their child.

Our SN dept isn't what it use to be....

Don't rely on the school completely if you know your child needs supports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

No need to get all huffy. I am the same pp who had to choose between a main stream private and a charter when DS was starting school. DS like OP's kid has what we thought were "mild" SNs when he was little but as they get older, their profile gets more clear and one can better choose the schools that are a better fit.

But for nursery and elementary, choose public. Better supports in case your child needs it. Do private for middle or later.

Her child is not your child or my child so your choice or our choices may not be best for her child. Clearly you missed things early on with your child that OP is not. We did a small private and supplemented heavily with private therapy and its worked out great. We were told my child's needs were far more severe than they were and now at almost 6, he's catching up nicely. No academic concerns. It can go either way so OP should choose what she feels is best. For us, early supports and individual attention were far more important early on. You worry about middle school at middle school. Right now she needs to focus on the early years and small classes with more individual support are far better.

NP but this is unreasonably nasty for the SN board. A child's issues in elementary school can't necessarily have been cured or fixed by anything a parent did early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

Yes, our school only goes to 3nd grade so we'll either change for 1st or second. My kid missed the school cut off so going into K. Academically should be 1st grade so we supplement at home. He's probably be fine this year its affordable so we'd rather give him an extra year to fully catch up and avoid an IEP so he isn't labeled long term. And, he's happy there and wants to stay.

It doesn't necessarily work this way. I have a 12 year old and I've seen with him and other children with SN that we know--some school years everything goes smoothly and other years, the kid really needs some extra support. I hope that whatever issues your son had are resolved permanently but be prepared if that isn't the case. Finally, an IEP doesn't label a child with a scarlet letter for the rest of his life and isn't something you should be desperate to avoid. That is a pretty negative statement on a board full of people with children with IEPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is almost 6 so your child is in K or 1st grade? Do you ever intend to go to public school?

Yes, our school only goes to 3nd grade so we'll either change for 1st or second. My kid missed the school cut off so going into K. Academically should be 1st grade so we supplement at home. He's probably be fine this year its affordable so we'd rather give him an extra year to fully catch up and avoid an IEP so he isn't labeled long term. And, he's happy there and wants to stay.

IEPs don't follow a child long term. It is reviewed annually and the goal is to not have an IEP after a couple of years.
e

Not necessarily true. It depends on the reason for the IEP. My DC has had an IEP since 2nd grade. He is going into 11th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

No need to get all huffy. I am the same pp who had to choose between a main stream private and a charter when DS was starting school. DS like OP's kid has what we thought were "mild" SNs when he was little but as they get older, their profile gets more clear and one can better choose the schools that are a better fit.

But for nursery and elementary, choose public. Better supports in case your child needs it. Do private for middle or later.

Her child is not your child or my child so your choice or our choices may not be best for her child. Clearly you missed things early on with your child that OP is not. We did a small private and supplemented heavily with private therapy and its worked out great. We were told my child's needs were far more severe than they were and now at almost 6, he's catching up nicely. No academic concerns. It can go either way so OP should choose what she feels is best. For us, early supports and individual attention were far more important early on. You worry about middle school at middle school. Right now she needs to focus on the early years and small classes with more individual support are far better.

NP but this is unreasonably nasty for the SN board. A child's issues in elementary school can't necessarily have been cured or fixed by anything a parent did early on.

Thanks. But I did missed my child's issues as did the mainstream private school who accepted him for prek4 even after the required play date observation. Our pediatrician did not see anything either. He is "mild" SNs obviously. His charter is the one who suggested he may have issues and needed an eval and we are glad that we chose it over the private school for this and a whole slew of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I wouldn't think about it as "missing" his issues. Whatever they are, they weren't really detectable until he reached a certain developmental stage and wasn't meeting the norm. Some kids do OK in early preschool, for example, blending in with all the other nutty 2 year olds, but then the other kids mature and they don't keep up at the same pace.

[Anonymous]

Admittedly we chose the charter because we really wanted the immersion language since at the time we did not know DS has SNs... So it takes luck too.