Is private school an option for a child with mild SN?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son will be entering PK3 this fall. We have a spot at a well-regarded charter and have recently been offered a spot at a small private school. Each offers its advantages and disadvantages regarding cost, commute, curriculum, and long-term potential. We have an IEP, and the charter school will provide the services. The private school cannot provide the services, but have said they will work with his differences within the class. My son's delays are primarily in social, sensory, and speech. They are not severe; he has remained in normal day care and is fully able to participate in normal classroom activities. He's made great progress with his OT and SLP, and we plan on maintaining all of his private services regardless of where he goes to school.

Given all of this, does anyone have experience with sending a mild SN child to a private? I understand the IEP requirement in't there, but we will maintain outside services and I think my son will benefit from the smaller community and classes. We love the school and see it as having much more long-term potential for us than the charter. We may be able to get into this private school again in a couple of years, but who knows? The charter is very well-regarded, very convenient, and I think will be able to provide wonderful support, but we still don't have a great feel for the future and it offers little in the way of foreign language (important to us; our son is currently bilingual).

Not sure either is a bad choice, but not sure which is better. Would love to get some insight from others who have been there or know more about the private side than I do. TIA!

If the private has told you up front that they will not help with the expenses of supporting your child's needs then the charter is the better option. Often speech issues are temporary so perhaps get the services from the charter than transfer him to private later. Of course if money is no object then you will provide all of the necessary services out of pocket and do what you want.

[Anonymous]

*then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP - You are making the right choice with the most options for your DS. If you lived in a DC area with a good neighborhood school, it would be entirely different. It makes the most sense to keep going with the services in place in school division as well as the private therapies. Keeping these going is definitely key to having your young son continue to progress. He will also have the benefit of the language immersion program. In three or four years time you will have a much clearer idea of how your son is doing across the board including academically, and perhaps an even broader range of very good private schools to consider if the charter school should not remain a strong program or the right fit for him. Front-loading the therapies really is key for many young children AND especially if you like the therapists you are working with. Also once he gets into school should you go to a private school setting, you could consider putting some enrichment opportunities with say a native language speaker sitter, a tutor , or language classes.

It does not sound like OP is choosing between an immersion language charter and private. That was the pp above your post, me, with a much older child who has been at one since prek4.

BTW, we would not have stayed at our immersion charter if it turned out that DS has LDs or academic issues since it is a language we don't know and cannot support at home. DS's strengths are in language/math/academics so the school is a good fit as it turns out. DS needs social communication supports which his school provides in the IEP.

OP's child is young so it's hard to tell which school will work better but the charter (by law) will be better at dealing with any SN issues that may come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I don't think the PP thinks everything will be "solved." No one knows what the future holds, but many kids on the spectrum do just fine at mainstream schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

Of course he can have behavioral issues in the future. We did not know he was going to have them in second grade since this is the first time he had behavioral issues at school. He was fine in prek, K and first. He was still fine/ same at home while this was going on. His school thought his bad behavior this year was "a blip" but we're not going to select schools based on "he may have behavioral issues again sometime in the future" either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

Language delays are not always on the spectrum. I don't understand why people assume they are the same. They may have similar characteristics early on but language delay kids outgrow them where as kids with autism do not. OP question is not about middle school or any of the other topics brought up here about others kids. It was specific to a young child with very specific needs. It is not about a child with behavioral or other issues either. Every child is different and either school is fine. One will have supports in school but at both schools it is best to supplement with private services as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son will be entering PK3 this fall. We have a spot at a well-regarded charter and have recently been offered a spot at a small private school. Each offers its advantages and disadvantages regarding cost, commute, curriculum, and long-term potential. We have an IEP, and the charter school will provide the services. The private school cannot provide the services, but have said they will work with his differences within the class. My son's delays are primarily in social, sensory, and speech. They are not severe; he has remained in normal day care and is fully able to participate in normal classroom activities. He's made great progress with his OT and SLP, and we plan on maintaining all of his private services regardless of where he goes to school.

Given all of this, does anyone have experience with sending a mild SN child to a private? I understand the IEP requirement in't there, but we will maintain outside services and I think my son will benefit from the smaller community and classes. We love the school and see it as having much more long-term potential for us than the charter. We may be able to get into this private school again in a couple of years, but who knows? The charter is very well-regarded, very convenient, and I think will be able to provide wonderful support, but we still don't have a great feel for the future and it offers little in the way of foreign language (important to us; our son is currently bilingual).

Not sure either is a bad choice, but not sure which is better. Would love to get some insight from others who have been there or know more about the private side than I do. TIA!

If the private has told you up front that they will not help with the expenses of supporting your child's needs then the charter is the better option. Often speech issues are temporary so perhaps get the services from the charter than transfer him to private later. Of course if money is no object then you will provide all of the necessary services out of pocket and do what you want.

Either way child needs private services. No private school, even most of the special needs, except LEAP will give true individual speech therapy and either you private pay for their therapist at the school or go outside. I would not put a speech delayed child in a language immersion as they are struggling with speech/language and cannot respond to show knowledge which will frustrate a lot of teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

No need to get all huffy. I am the same pp who had to choose between a main stream private and a charter when DS was starting school. DS like OP's kid has what we thought were "mild" SNs when he was little but as they get older, their profile gets more clear and one can better choose the schools that are a better fit.

But for nursery and elementary, choose public. Better supports in case your child needs it. Do private for middle or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's almost impossible to advise b/c we don't know your kid or the schools or what the future will hold. But you may want to think about some things.

1. What would happen if for some reason, it didn't work out for your kid at the mainstream private? Where would he go?
2. Would transitioning to the mainstream private be an option in a few years?
3. Given commutes, tuition, etc. are you able to fit in whatever therapies/support your kid may need that he may not get during the day at the private?

Sometimes, kids react differently when the social and academic demands increase. So, it may be preferable to stick with the charter especially in the early years so you know those are needs are being met and supported.

This is good advice. We had to choose between a very well regarded private and a highly regarded charter and are so glad that we chose the charter. DS was not diagnosed until he was 4 and had we chosen the private school, we would have had to leave.

No behavioral or learning issues other than not engaging with other kids... That is until 2nd grade when we had a ton of behavioral issues. If we did not have the IEP, DS would have been expelled or suspended.

All behavioral issues were resolved within a few month with the IEP and DS will be entering 3rd grade at the same charter.

We will be looking at mainstream private schools for middle schools and beyond but am soooooo glad we chose the charter for elementary.

Mainstream private middle schools, in general, are terrible places for SN kids with behavioral issues. Middle school is just a tough time all around.

Yeah, middle school sucks. We are targeting a particular mainstream private school (not in this area) that is 6-9 grades all boys only middle school. Have backups of course if it does not work out.

He no longer has behavior issues.

But he might in the future, right? Did you know he was going to have behavior issues before this year?

The thing about the spectrum is that in many ways, it gets harder as kids get older. The social dynamics, especially the unwritten "rules" become more complicated and the social consequences for following them become greater. Kids have bigger emotions as they get older, especially as hormones play a bigger role. Kids are more aware of -- and potentially embarrassed by -- their emotions.

I'm not saying a mainstream private won't be right for you -- I don't know your kid, of course. But I wouldn't expect that all of his issues will be "solved" by middle school.

I am curious what middle school you would recommend for a kid with an FSIQ of 150+ without academic or behavioral issues with an ASD/ADHD diagnosis?

Start your own topic regarding your child. This has nothing to do with OP question or concerns.

No need to get all huffy. I am the same pp who had to choose between a main stream private and a charter when DS was starting school. DS like OP's kid has what we thought were "mild" SNs when he was little but as they get older, their profile gets more clear and one can better choose the schools that are a better fit.

But for nursery and elementary, choose public. Better supports in case your child needs it. Do private for middle or later.

Her child is not your child or my child so your choice or our choices may not be best for her child. Clearly you missed things early on with your child that OP is not. We did a small private and supplemented heavily with private therapy and its worked out great. We were told my child's needs were far more severe than they were and now at almost 6, he's catching up nicely. No academic concerns. It can go either way so OP should choose what she feels is best. For us, early supports and individual attention were far more important early on. You worry about middle school at middle school. Right now she needs to focus on the early years and small classes with more individual support are far better.