Cut ties with rich friend?

[Anonymous]

My most privileged friend who work on the board for the grandfather's foundation, do pro bono law work instead of working for money and chair fund raisers may say some "tone deaf" things but they are also the friends that will drop everything for their friends.

I would not dump her but challenge yourself to find the positive in your relationship.

I am the first to say dump toxic friends. She does not seem toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading between the lines a little, I'm wondering if she is simply telling you about her day to day life, which is what friends catching up do, and because of your discomfort with the difference between your life and her life, it is awkward to you when it's your turn to share.
With the relationship you described (phone calls regularly) it may be simply that "what did you do this weekend" is naturally going to include descriptions of things out of your reach that are her day to day reality.
With all that being said, if it is uncomfortable and awkward for you, then yes, you need to back away from this friendship. But maybe a fair look at what your part in this is would be helpful in your own life, too.
FWIW I am the "poor" person in a friendship like this, but don't have similar feelings of awkwardness when sharing about camping after listening to what her yacht captain wore to dinner, but that's just me and my friend is lovely

I agree. I'm the "rich" friend in a relationship and with one friend I feel like I have to hide details about my life. I feel like I can't share about a vacation or I have to be embarrassed when she notices my new shoes or handbag. It's a little strange.

You don't have to hide the details of your life.

I'm not the rich friend, but the poor one. Well, we're not really poor since we both make six figures, but we're not multiple vacation home and yacht wealthy. We have to budget and save.

The key is not hiding your own info, but not belittling (inadvertently or not) the poorer person's required lifestyle. Like the PP who's wealthy friend flew in private planes and wondered aloud how anyone could possibly tolerate flying commercial. We'd love to hear about your beautiful tropical vacation. Just don't add that you can't imaging having to go to a horrible place like Virginia Beach when your friend just went to Virginia Beach.

Pp here. I never say things like that. Wow. I seriously have a friend who has an issue with me telling her the truth about my life. If she asks where I went on vacation and I say X, the look on her face is priceless. To not offend or upset her I would have to lie.

I find it hard to believe the OPs friend really commented like that on commercial. If so, the OP should have told her her comment is rude. No need to dump the friend or be offended - simply tell her when she's offending you. Say, "that's not a nice thing to say. Not everyone is as fortunate with finances as you are."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading between the lines a little, I'm wondering if she is simply telling you about her day to day life, which is what friends catching up do, and because of your discomfort with the difference between your life and her life, it is awkward to you when it's your turn to share.
With the relationship you described (phone calls regularly) it may be simply that "what did you do this weekend" is naturally going to include descriptions of things out of your reach that are her day to day reality.
With all that being said, if it is uncomfortable and awkward for you, then yes, you need to back away from this friendship. But maybe a fair look at what your part in this is would be helpful in your own life, too.
FWIW I am the "poor" person in a friendship like this, but don't have similar feelings of awkwardness when sharing about camping after listening to what her yacht captain wore to dinner, but that's just me and my friend is lovely

I agree. I'm the "rich" friend in a relationship and with one friend I feel like I have to hide details about my life. I feel like I can't share about a vacation or I have to be embarrassed when she notices my new shoes or handbag. It's a little strange.

My rich friend wrote on FB... "Please pray for my family during this trying time."

It ended up they were flying to Dubai for vacation.

She later posted a picture of her son sleeping in a bed in the plane, "all safe and sound, thanks for the prayers"

You sort of sound like her.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like the problem isn't that she's rich but that she's a bit clueless.

I am comfortably middle class by DC standards (own a rowhouse, have a 401(k), good WOTP public school). I grew up pretty wealthy but chose a public interest career that doesn't give me the lifestyle I had growing up. I have some friends who are extremely well off. One couple has made millions building their two businesses from the ground up, have a gorgeous Cap Hill house they've done amazing things to (ohmigod a TV by the bathtub, WTF). They are the most gracious, generous, down to earth people I've ever known, and I could not feel more comfortable with them, including when they invite our family to their lovely beach house.

On the other hand I've made acquaintances who are living what I'll call the Bethesda dream, high six figures, a Lexus, and a McMansion who I just couldn't be around because they were relentlessly talking about their lifestyle options (prep school, certain expensive vacations, type of car, nannies) as if they are the only way to live, and not showing any compassion or generosity towards anyone who was not like them.

It sounds like your friend has more money than class, and that's no fun to be around.

I disagree that you need to stick with your own socioeconomic class (as if these things didn't change in a blink of an eye). You just need to be with people who share your values.