Can Type A and Type B be friends?

[Anonymous]

I am a very strong Type A, and although the majority of my friends are Type B, it's a struggle. There are some periods of my life when I'm very busy and very stressed that I can't hang with my Type B friends - they just irritate instead of relax me. I know now that there are plenty of Type Bs who have liked me well enough as acquaintances or casual friends but never took the friendship to the next level, in part due to my Type A ness. But you gotta be true to yourself, otherwise a friendship won't work in any case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Type A here and I prefer other type As. Type Bs are welcome so long as they show up on time and can hold a conversation.

The punctuality thing, and attention to details, are the two things that cause the most stress between me and my Type B friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a B and seem to attract As by the boatload. Not sure why. I am as upfront as possible and try to be self deprecating, but I make it clear they really should have no expectations of me as a friend. I show up when you need me - I'm good at that, but I suck at birthdays. Being on time. Keeping my BBQ plans. All that stuff is out the door. So unjust lay it out- and if the harm around they deal.

It's nice of you to lay it all out. You and I could be acquaintances, but never friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't stand type a...they are just not fun to be around.

Depends what you consider fun. As a type A, I like fun events to be planned.

[Anonymous]

This is completely me, from Wikipedia: "The theory describes "Type A" individuals as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management." I fit each one of those descriptors.

[Anonymous]

I am a type A but I work consciously on rigidity and bossiness. Also, I'm not (much of) a control freak. I have lots and lots of type B friends and love them! But don't put being a flake and inconsiderate down to personality type. Is it ok for me to bulldoze you just because I'm type A?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a type B I can only have very limited interactions with type A personalities.

Do you have a creative or Type B job field?

[Anonymous]

I let go of a long friendship with a Type B a few weeks ago. Her sense of time is wildly protracted. She'll announce a life change, then three years later there's still zero movement on improving her life. Nothing is urgent. Nothing gets planned. She's got a wait and see attitude about things that are time sensitive. Since I manage to work my way out of serious situations (death, divorce, motherhood issues), she doesn't lift a finger to help and judges as I make my way out of things. Chlidfree, but oh she's the best parent in the world! Her only advice is to basically kick back and trust the universe.

I thought we balanced each other out, but her lack of seriousness about very serious issues wore me out. She shrugged off important things in her life and dismissed the stresses in mine. My attitude about unemployment (let's say) was poo poo'd. If I'd just relax a job would come. Huh? She had disdain for my need to have a solid schedule re co-parenting, and repeatedly pushed me to leave room for XH's participation no matter how negligent he was. The problem-solving instinct of the Type A certainly benefited her bc whenever she had car trouble, I'd send money.

In the end, I no longer found value in a relationship that proved so unbalanced.

[Anonymous]

It depend since each and every friendship is very unique.

I consider myself somewhere in between both types and I attribute that to my ability to get along with almost anyone.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course! I think people are much closer to each other than these dichotomous memes give humanity credit for. Most things are not either /or- they are a continuum. So yes a person who is so extremely type A might have trouble with someone extremely type B and vice versa. But guess what, so would most everyone else in humanity because people at extremes are bores or weirdos.

If we absolutely HAD to pick one or the other, my DH and I are then type A and type B. We have tons and tons in common including our general outlook on the world and life, so we work fine. I have friends all over the spectrum!

[Anonymous]

Type B male here and I love my Type A friends
Type As are leaders and Bs are followers so I think they actually work well together.
Without my type As I wouldn't participate in as many activities. I also have the freedom to say I don't want to do something without feelings being hurt
I can imagine the type A would get exhausted having to do all the "work" in setting stuff up but they enjoy that and as a B I hate that stuff
Dating has been a challenge sometimes because of this. I have to force myself to plan/lead things sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Type A whose friends are mostly type A. I like go-getters.

[Anonymous]

Type A's are just annoying....worrying about everything and everybody, unable to follow nonlinear thinking and pissy if they don't get their way. Why would anyone want to hang around these types?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Type A's are just annoying....worrying about everything and everybody, unable to follow nonlinear thinking and pissy if they don't get their way. Why would anyone want to hang around these types?

'Cause we get shit done and don't waste your time?

[Anonymous]

I think the A/B dichotomy is bullshit. The only element I think is legitimate is whether someone is easily stressed or not, all of the other characteristics can be so widely variable I wouldn't even know what to call myself. I prefer to work alone, I find competitions extremely stressful, am a perfectionist and a go-getter; I'm also very introspective and reflective, very relaxed, don't get upset when things don't work the way I intend them to (although I will spend an obscene amount of time to try and make everything perfect), and work in a creative field. Huh. I'm always early for appointments and deadlines but also am a flake on casual plans because I often need to recharge at home alone, as much as I'd like to see my friends. What does that make me?