Not remarrying if spouse dies before me...anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH out of town now and so enjoying the silence. If he goes first, no remarriage. I wonder what he would do if I go fist????

Men are often quick to rebound/get married. I read somewhere that if they had a happy marriage, they're more likely to remarry again-- and rather quickly.

I wonder why that is. Is it because widowers are used to being taken care of and feel as though they need a wife. Whereas widows are reluctant to remarry because they plain don't want to cook/clean/answer to anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Once is enough!

[Anonymous]

Ladies, marrying again after 50 is just setting yourself up to care for some guy into his old age. I'm sure HE'LL be thrilled, but why commit yourself to that?

I've had a neighbor and an extended family member, both lovely, vibrant ladies in their 70s, take on some old coot who -- at first -- seems to want a life together. But the minute they married, the guy plopped himself on the couch and started to decompose. They lost YEARS that they could have spent travelling and enjoying their lives.

Don't. Do. It.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, marrying again after 50 is just setting yourself up to care for some guy into his old age. I'm sure HE'LL be thrilled, but why commit yourself to that?

I've had a neighbor and an extended family member, both lovely, vibrant ladies in their 70s, take on some old coot who -- at first -- seems to want a life together. But the minute they married, the guy plopped himself on the couch and started to decompose. They lost YEARS that they could have spent travelling and enjoying their lives.

Don't. Do. It.

LOL. What a picture!

[Anonymous]

Women tend to take on a caregiver role in relationships in families. The ones that are long-marrieds who are widowed don't want to do that any more for someone who is not their kid or long-time partner, unless they are the type that needs the money or a man to take charge.

[Anonymous]

What a weird place to get your thinking stuck.

When my husband was ill with cancer and his odds were good, it was a great comfort to me that I could see people who had lived through such tragedy and found joy with another eventually. Doesn't diminish their tragedies.

I like hanging with my husband and I like being a part of a pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, marrying again after 50 is just setting yourself up to care for some guy into his old age. I'm sure HE'LL be thrilled, but why commit yourself to that?

I've had a neighbor and an extended family member, both lovely, vibrant ladies in their 70s, take on some old coot who -- at first -- seems to want a life together. But the minute they married, the guy plopped himself on the couch and started to decompose. They lost YEARS that they could have spent travelling and enjoying their lives.

Don't. Do. It.

+ 1. This is my mother. Her husband never wants to travel anywhere, so she sees her children and grandchildren much less than she would like to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, marrying again after 50 is just setting yourself up to care for some guy into his old age. I'm sure HE'LL be thrilled, but why commit yourself to that?

I've had a neighbor and an extended family member, both lovely, vibrant ladies in their 70s, take on some old coot who -- at first -- seems to want a life together. But the minute they married, the guy plopped himself on the couch and started to decompose. They lost YEARS that they could have spent travelling and enjoying their lives.

Don't. Do. It.

LOL. What a picture!

Haha. I just spit out my wine reading this description. Thanks for the laugh pp.

[Anonymous]

I can't get remarried - husband is retired military. I'd lose my annuity, health care and much more. He worked too hard for us to have those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ oh I forgot to say we've been married almost 20 years, and I'm crazy about my DH, and it's a good marriage. But if he were to go, I'm done with that phase of my life and it's time for girlfriends and traveling.

Amen, Sister!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm certainly not going to make that decision now. What if he wants you to remarry?

Well, he'll be dead, won't her?

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never again. Shacking up is the way to go.

yuck

not even that

Who wants to be responsible for another man?

It's liberating being alone.

Totally agree. The point would be to be free, unencumbered...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One and done here. Not only would I never remarry, I wouldn't date, have bed fun, not even talk to another man unless it's about yard work or home repairs.

[/quote

Love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed for over 15 years. FWBs only for me.

Marriage is highly overrated.

Wow. In retrospect do you think that your marriage to your wife who left you a widow was a good marriage? Are you happy that you married her or do you think you would have been happy living life as a single man?

I think OP is a woman.

OP here - woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed for over 15 years. FWBs only for me.

Marriage is highly overrated.

Wow. In retrospect do you think that your marriage to your wife who left you a widow was a good marriage? Are you happy that you married her or do you think you would have been happy living life as a single man?

I think OP is a woman.

Yes, I realized after I asked the question that pp was talking about the death of her husband of 15 years. Not her wife. But the question is pretty much the same. Did she have a good marriage and is she glad that she married her husband or does she think she would have been happier living life as a single woman.

Op here - absolutely, so good in fact that I can't imagine ever replicating. Having said that, I'm not the marrying type. Had a hard time committing at first and turned out to be the best decision of my life. Still, because "marriage" doesn't come natural, it's hard work. Doing what's right because you love someone, giving, sharing...for me, everything is simpler alone and while I can't imagine not having DH by my side, I can't imagine doing it again.