Not remarrying if spouse dies before me...anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed for over 15 years. FWBs only for me.

Marriage is highly overrated.

Wow. In retrospect do you think that your marriage to your wife who left you a widow was a good marriage? Are you happy that you married her or do you think you would have been happy living life as a single man?

I think OP is a woman.

Yes, I realized after I asked the question that pp was talking about the death of her husband of 15 years. Not her wife. But the question is pretty much the same. Did she have a good marriage and is she glad that she married her husband or does she think she would have been happier living life as a single woman.

Op here - absolutely, so good in fact that I can't imagine ever replicating. Having said that, I'm not the marrying type. Had a hard time committing at first and turned out to be the best decision of my life. Still, because "marriage" doesn't come natural, it's hard work. Doing what's right because you love someone, giving, sharing...for me, everything is simpler alone and while I can't imagine not having DH by my side, I can't imagine doing it again.

+1. I lucked out meeting my DH in my 20s. He'd be a very hard act to follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DH dies of natural causes, he will likely go before me. We talk about it sometimes and the only scenario I imagine is having a girlfriend to travel with. No, I'm not a lesbian, just can't imagine remarrying. Anyone else?

I've been widowed for a year and feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If DH dies of natural causes, he will likely go before me. We talk about it sometimes and the only scenario I imagine is having a girlfriend to travel with. No, I'm not a lesbian, just can't imagine remarrying. Anyone else?

I've been widowed for a year and feel that way.

Should clarify that I loved being married and it's super lonely being a widow, but he was one of a kind and I can't imagine anyone else would ever hold my interest the way he did.

[Anonymous]

I think I'm certain I would never remarry. I love my husband dearly, but after the initial devastation, I would want to reclaim all the energy invested in my marriage and use it for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm certain I would never remarry. I love my husband dearly, but after the initial devastation, I would want to reclaim all the energy invested in my marriage and use it for myself.

they are all looking for a purse or a nurse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep I'm done, too. Time for the awesome dog that DH is allergic to.

Was listening to a radio program a few months ago, where the host had been on a cruise ship and noticed that bands of (married) women will cruise without their spouses, but not men.

He had people call in to explain, and generally it sounded like that when women go on vacation with their spouses, they are still taking care of their spouses, and when they go with other women, they get to take care of their own needs only.

As an aside, generally speaking, the man left at home would play at his hobbies etc, but if a woman is left at home she cleans the house and gets through all the unfinished mail/little house projects. LOL

I don't think it's funny at all. Women voluntarily get entrenched in roles in the house, and any variation of that is out of the ordinary. Stop doing this, ladies! Do what YOU want, and your spouse will do what s/he wants. Go on vacation with friends, not the seemingly needy, helpless men you married and continue to coddle. Do something for you.

And if you don't, please stop complaining. It's YOUR decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm certain I would never remarry. I love my husband dearly, but after the initial devastation, I would want to reclaim all the energy invested in my marriage and use it for myself.

they are all looking for a purse or a nurse

The purse, DH's family money, is going to our kid and for nursing, no thanks!

Love DH with all my heart and have zero desire to remarry. Plan on spoiling my grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm certain I would never remarry. I love my husband dearly, but after the initial devastation, I would want to reclaim all the energy invested in my marriage and use it for myself.

they are all looking for a purse or a nurse

BS. I am fit and healthy and would never remarry if my wife died. In fact, I would not even pursue dating. Instead, would teach, take foreign language courses, hike, and travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never again. Shacking up is the way to go.

Damn right. No man is getting his hands on my money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't get remarried - husband is retired military. I'd lose my annuity, health care and much more. He worked too hard for us to have those things.

You'd get to keep all that if you remarry at age 55 or older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If DH dies of natural causes, he will likely go before me. We talk about it sometimes and the only scenario I imagine is having a girlfriend to travel with. No, I'm not a lesbian, just can't imagine remarrying. Anyone else?

I've been widowed for a year and feel that way.

Aaaaw, this is sweet... I'm OP. Do you have women friends you can travel with or other intellectual diversions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never again. Shacking up is the way to go.

yuck

not even that

Who wants to be responsible for another man?

It's liberating being alone.

Amen, sista

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One and done here. Not only would I never remarry, I wouldn't date, have bed fun, not even talk to another man unless it's about yard work or home repairs.

+100 And I would figure out the yard work. So that's one less conversation. I always think of that Dionne Warwick song, "One less bell to answer..." Or was that the Fifth Dimension?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed for over 15 years. FWBs only for me.

Marriage is highly overrated.

Wow. In retrospect do you think that your marriage to your wife who left you a widow was a good marriage? Are you happy that you married her or do you think you would have been happy living life as a single man?

I agree with PP. Marriage is highly overrated. I can't say I had that attitude as a young woman however, but I'd never remarry now. And like many others have noted I wouldn't even date. Too much BS, too much gender baggage. Hope the millennials do better with this than the boomers have.

[Anonymous]

I would not remarry. I'd still want someone for sex and cuddling, so I hope I have some FWB's to get me through my dotage. Men are just too much work to live with, and I like my privacy.