Feel Bad For You...Your DH is a cheat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who owns a local and very successful bar. My friends and I go in there from time to time. I know of his wife only because I'm FB friends with him. She gushes from time to time what a wonderful guy he is, most recently was today about fathers day. Yea right. The guy is a total dog and should never be married.

I have to wonder...don't these women know in the back of their minds that these men are pratically da ting othet women? Are they blindsided when they find out? When he first came onto me I asked him if he was in an open relationship thinking that maybe she's all good with his side activities. To his credit he was like oh hell no, she'd leave me if she found out. I keep him at a friends distance because I don't need that kind of drama. Just knowing him for a few years, I can't imagine how she doesn't know.

I see women post on here about how they are shocked to learn that their husbands have been cheating. Really?? How the hell does that creep up on you? It takes a lot of investment in unaccounted for time to cheat on someone.

DH and I have an open marriage. He can date whoever he chooses. Sexual monogamy is not part of our marriage contract. He is a great father and a good husband. MYOB

Your reading comprehension is just as pathetic as your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

What gives you the bizarre impression that I'm in the middle of their relationship? I don't date married men. Nor do I take it upon myself to reveal to these women that their men fuck other women on the side (or at least try to fuck other women). I don't need someone's sloppy seconds. You married women can keep these diamonds you've found.

My question is more around HOW can these women not know the score? It's so obvious that they are philanders.

I'm 25, I live in DC. So many 40 something married dad bods trolling the singles scene. What are they telling you they are doing on Thursday at 9pm? Walking the dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

What gives you the bizarre impression that I'm in the middle of their relationship? I don't date married men. Nor do I take it upon myself to reveal to these women that their men fuck other women on the side (or at least try to fuck other women). I don't need someone's sloppy seconds. You married women can keep these diamonds you've found.

My question is more around HOW can these women not know the score? It's so obvious that they are philanders.

I'm 25, I live in DC. So many 40 something married dad bods trolling the singles scene. What are they telling you they are doing on Thursday at 9pm? Walking the dog?

Then why do you care? MYOB and keep walking DC.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters budget extra time into their errands, workdays, and other activities, so they can squeeze in some sex. Apparently it's not that difficult, if you're not with them 24/7 and you treat them like trustworthy adults who have their own lives, as you have yours. If they're good liars and deflectors, and make a habit of keeping things vague and to themselves, you can be fooled. Happened to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

What gives you the bizarre impression that I'm in the middle of their relationship? I don't date married men. Nor do I take it upon myself to reveal to these women that their men fuck other women on the side (or at least try to fuck other women). I don't need someone's sloppy seconds. You married women can keep these diamonds you've found.

My question is more around HOW can these women not know the score? It's so obvious that they are philanders.

I'm 25, I live in DC. So many 40 something married dad bods trolling the singles scene. What are they telling you they are doing on Thursday at 9pm? Walking the dog?

Then why do you care? MYOB and keep walking DC.

She really stuck a chord in you. What's your baggage?

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of wives are in denial because it's easier this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

What gives you the bizarre impression that I'm in the middle of their relationship? I don't date married men. Nor do I take it upon myself to reveal to these women that their men fuck other women on the side (or at least try to fuck other women). I don't need someone's sloppy seconds. You married women can keep these diamonds you've found.

My question is more around HOW can these women not know the score? It's so obvious that they are philanders.

I'm 25, I live in DC. So many 40 something married dad bods trolling the singles scene. What are they telling you they are doing on Thursday at 9pm? Walking the dog?

Then why do you care? MYOB and keep walking DC.

She really stuck a chord in you. What's your baggage?

No baggage at all actually. PP sounds overly worried about a situation that does not pertain to her. Why does she care?

[Anonymous]

Not her business, not her problem, not her issue. She definitely has something going on. Why would anyone care that much about what anyone else is doing? I detect a crush...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

What gives you the bizarre impression that I'm in the middle of their relationship? I don't date married men. Nor do I take it upon myself to reveal to these women that their men fuck other women on the side (or at least try to fuck other women). I don't need someone's sloppy seconds. You married women can keep these diamonds you've found.

My question is more around HOW can these women not know the score? It's so obvious that they are philanders.

I'm 25, I live in DC. So many 40 something married dad bods trolling the singles scene. What are they telling you they are doing on Thursday at 9pm? Walking the dog?

Then why do you care? MYOB and keep walking DC.

She really stuck a chord in you. What's your baggage?

No baggage at all actually. PP sounds overly worried about a situation that does not pertain to her. Why does she care?

New poster here and i see why someone asked you that. You just sound super defensive and that usually a pretty glaring sign that an emotional chord has been struck.

Good luck with whatever you have going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is probably dating someone that turns a blind eye to how his is with women. No guy is that open about wanting to hook up unless his wife just deals with it.

And of course every FB weirdo was posting on Father's Day about how their husband is the best father in the world blah blah blah. It is the FB thing to do. But we all know these people IRL and know it is total bullshit.

Right? +1 zillion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably dating someone that turns a blind eye to how his is with women. No guy is that open about wanting to hook up unless his wife just deals with it.

And of course every FB weirdo was posting on Father's Day about how their husband is the best father in the world blah blah blah. It is the FB thing to do. But we all know these people IRL and know it is total bullshit.

Right? +1 zillion

One can still be a great father and a cheater (a bad husband with regard to fidelity). Otherwise, one could say their DW is a bad mother because they don't have sex as often as he likes.

[Anonymous]

My best friend from growing up had an affair recently. She is not in this area ( where traffic is not an issue/people live closer to work) so that could have helped...but as the OP stated how they "don't get the time"...I was the same way, couldn't understand it? But as others pointed out when there is a will there is a way. She said 90% of the affair happened during work hours ( he was a coworker). He lived near the office and they would go to lunch at his place. Or after work she would tell DH she had a late meeting ( again nothing crazy she would still be home for dinner with the family) and go to the guys place. They communicated 100% on there work phones. I am not condoning it or supporting it, but the whole mentality "the spouse must be an idiot"...I strongly believe the affair is not the reason for maritial issues, but most of the time a symptom of a bigger issue. If your marriage is in trouble already, most likely you are not communicating as well as you should be, and unless something is incredibly overt, you may not notice.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how they get away with it. My AP does overnights with me. Dinners, vacations...I guess he wife doesn't want to know? Doesn't care? We text and email. They definitely do not have an open marriage. I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to cheat and not get caught.

How? I don't get the logistics.

We have elementary aged kids. We spend all weekend with them. Right now they are in summwr travel sports and we are all out of town most weekends. We are both home at night and eating dinner at 6pm. Very little travel and on the better work trips we attend we often all go together (like San Diego, Vegas, Austin).

I'm not sure how I would just dip out on a Thursday night without enlisting the help of my friends to cover for me. Hour hotel rental during lunch?

Read literally every 3rd or 4th post on this forum to understand why and how!

Yea. It's called marrying someone willfully ignorant who will claim shock and suprise when it smacks them in the face and they can no longer pretend it doesn't happen without looking like a complete fool.

I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. My very dear friend who I have been close with since we were 12 years old had been cheating on her husband. They are getting divorced and it wasn't until she came clean during divorce proceedings that he found out. It crushed him since he didn't really even want the divorce at all anyway. They have 2 kids and are busy but she made time (albeit not long dinner dates and such, but time). I still love my friend even though I don't agree with what she did, its her life and her family that will have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who owns a local and very successful bar. My friends and I go in there from time to time. I know of his wife only because I'm FB friends with him. She gushes from time to time what a wonderful guy he is, most recently was today about fathers day. Yea right. The guy is a total dog and should never be married.

I have to wonder...don't these women know in the back of their minds that these men are pratically da ting othet women? Are they blindsided when they find out? When he first came onto me I asked him if he was in an open relationship thinking that maybe she's all good with his side activities. To his credit he was like oh hell no, she'd leave me if she found out. I keep him at a friends distance because I don't need that kind of drama. Just knowing him for a few years, I can't imagine how she doesn't know.

I see women post on here about how they are shocked to learn that their husbands have been cheating. Really?? How the hell does that creep up on you? It takes a lot of investment in unaccounted for time to cheat on someone.

DH and I have an open marriage. He can date whoever he chooses. Sexual monogamy is not part of our marriage contract. He is a great father and a good husband. MYOB

Your reading comprehension is just as pathetic as your marriage.

You found me out! Yep, 26 years later, 2 brilliant, beautiful kids, good sex at home, good careers, nice nest egg saved, nice house... we're completely pathetic. We should totally switch over to your crazy-making, jealous, insecure model of marriage.