Feel Bad For You...Your DH is a cheat

[Anonymous]

The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

Couldn't agree more. I just roll my eyes when I read the crap they post hoping to make some person they never see believe they live in a fantasy land. Forgetting that those of us that are close to them know the truth: Their husband/wife is a complete asshole, their kids are damn terrible, and they are lazy bums who just waste time on facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who owns a local and very successful bar. My friends and I go in there from time to time. I know of his wife only because I'm FB friends with him. She gushes from time to time what a wonderful guy he is, most recently was today about fathers day. Yea right. The guy is a total dog and should never be married.

I have to wonder...don't these women know in the back of their minds that these men are pratically da ting othet women? Are they blindsided when they find out? When he first came onto me I asked him if he was in an open relationship thinking that maybe she's all good with his side activities. To his credit he was like oh hell no, she'd leave me if she found out. I keep him at a friends distance because I don't need that kind of drama. Just knowing him for a few years, I can't imagine how she doesn't know.

I see women post on here about how they are shocked to learn that their husbands have been cheating. Really?? How the hell does that creep up on you? It takes a lot of investment in unaccounted for time to cheat on someone.

I don't know, I was cheated on and I often ask myself this question. IT's horrible, when you suddenly realize how bamboozled you were. I can't tell you to this day if it was something I DID figure out subconsciously and chose not to pay attention, or if I really, honestly didn't fathom he would ever do it, so I didn't need to make any excuses. He played the role I wanted him to play, and treated me the way I wanted to be treated... so maybe I just didn't look. Also, he was SO torn about deciding to get married, it was a shit or get off the pot scenario and he finally popped question. I naively thought that meant he'd done his due diligence with the decision, but now realize it just meant he wanted his cake and to eat it too.

I will say, that once I realize there was no fairy tale for me, it was rough initially, but I like life better now. I've written here about how I've opened wide to the flaws of others and to my own flaws. I'm so much less judgy and never expect anyone to not pull the rug out. Sounds scary perhaps, but it's actually quite freeing. Anyone can hurt you, anyone can die, so focus right now. It's really helped me be a better person. I feel bad for your "friend" but also for the dog, it's their path to walk.

[Anonymous]

Cheating does not require unaccounted-for time. To the pp, and everyone who's been cheated on, don't feel foolish because you didn't catch them. Unless you're with your spouse literally 24/7 they have an opportunity. Evenings and weekends are not when adultery happens. You don't spend hours on the phone with your AP. There are no texts unless you have a second phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

That's so not true! I'm a social media whore and love to put up pics of my dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

That's so not true! I'm a social media whore and love to put up pics of my dh.

Your friends find it very, very annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

That's so not true! I'm a social media whore and love to put up pics of my dh.

Your friends find it very, very annoying

Why? They do it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

That's so not true! I'm a social media whore and love to put up pics of my dh.

Your friends find it very, very annoying

Why? They do it too.

They do it to keep up with the others that do it. It is an annoying cycle that the rest of us have to deal with on FB (thankfully you can switch them off). Nobody cares to see your kids that much. Nobody gives a shit about your marriage or what your husband looks like. If you feel strongly about your DH, write him a car or send him a personal email.

As soon as someone has a kid, there is a 75% chance I'll be turning the setting so they don't show up on my wall anymore. Same with some women that get engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who owns a local and very successful bar. My friends and I go in there from time to time. I know of his wife only because I'm FB friends with him. She gushes from time to time what a wonderful guy he is, most recently was today about fathers day. Yea right. The guy is a total dog and should never be married.

I have to wonder...don't these women know in the back of their minds that these men are pratically da ting othet women? Are they blindsided when they find out? When he first came onto me I asked him if he was in an open relationship thinking that maybe she's all good with his side activities. To his credit he was like oh hell no, she'd leave me if she found out. I keep him at a friends distance because I don't need that kind of drama. Just knowing him for a few years, I can't imagine how she doesn't know.

I see women post on here about how they are shocked to learn that their husbands have been cheating. Really?? How the hell does that creep up on you? It takes a lot of investment in unaccounted for time to cheat on someone.

DH and I have an open marriage. He can date whoever he chooses. Sexual monogamy is not part of our marriage contract. He is a great father and a good husband. MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DH and I have an open marriage. He can date whoever he chooses. Sexual monogamy is not part of our marriage contract. He is a great father and a good husband. MYOB

LOL. Hey lets cheat on eachother and say it is cool. Then maybe we won't feel bad about it.

You aren't married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who gush about their relationships on social media absolutely know their relationship is on the rocks.

That's so not true! I'm a social media whore and love to put up pics of my dh.

Your friends find it very, very annoying

Why? They do it too.

They do it to keep up with the others that do it. It is an annoying cycle that the rest of us have to deal with on FB (thankfully you can switch them off). Nobody cares to see your kids that much. Nobody gives a shit about your marriage or what your husband looks like. If you feel strongly about your DH, write him a car or send him a personal email.

As soon as someone has a kid, there is a 75% chance I'll be turning the setting so they don't show up on my wall anymore. Same with some women that get engaged.

I write him cute notes and he randomly gives me flowers and cards too. Social media is just an extension of that.

[Anonymous]

I think that most people in relationships are in a bit of denial when it comes to certain issues.

His wife may suspect her husband is a douche-bag, but she reasons that unless she has tangible evidence of this, he may also be faithful.

She hopes it is the latter + she tries to live by this lie because it hurts less than the truth.

I would just stay out of it. Who cares if he is cheating or not? Just do not get involved w/him and let him live his life however he wants to.

Do you have feelings for him? Could this be why this situation is bothering you enough to come on an anonymous forum to vent??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to cheat and not get caught.

How? I don't get the logistics.

We have elementary aged kids. We spend all weekend with them. Right now they are in summwr travel sports and we are all out of town most weekends. We are both home at night and eating dinner at 6pm. Very little travel and on the better work trips we attend we often all go together (like San Diego, Vegas, Austin).

I'm not sure how I would just dip out on a Thursday night without enlisting the help of my friends to cover for me. Hour hotel rental during lunch?

My guy has a job where he drives all over everyday. He would make appointments in my area on my days off. ( currently I'm across the country) Then he comes over for 20 min to an hr. Back in the day when he worked in the same town I lived in he came over almost everyday for a quicky. I'm pretty sure his wife has no clue I even exist. He and I also talk and text constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to cheat and not get caught.

How? I don't get the logistics.

We have elementary aged kids. We spend all weekend with them. Right now they are in summwr travel sports and we are all out of town most weekends. We are both home at night and eating dinner at 6pm. Very little travel and on the better work trips we attend we often all go together (like San Diego, Vegas, Austin).

I'm not sure how I would just dip out on a Thursday night without enlisting the help of my friends to cover for me. Hour hotel rental during lunch?

Her guy has a job where he drives all over everyday. Her DH would make appointments in my area on my days off. ( currently I'm across the country) Then he comes over for 20 min to an hr. Back in the day when he worked in the same town I lived in he came over almost everyday for a quicky. I'm pretty sure his wife has no clue I even exist. He and I also talk and text constantly.

FIFY