My cousin is into the paranormal and its making me crazy. Need some advice please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say, "No thanks. My house doesn't need cleansing and I'd really rather you didn't."

+1


You're probably going to have to distance yourself a little.

Yes - tell her you feel bad admitting it, but that you just don't believe in paranormal stuff, and that you do not want to scare the children. scaring the children is a BIG DEAL. They can make their own deductions when they are old enough. but tell her if it makes her feel bette, you will accept the crystal and hide it from the kids.

[Anonymous]

Hold up. How is believing in ghosts a religion?

Wow, special snowflake religion... "I see dead people!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is my cousin and her wife. My cousin and I are close, same age went through school together, and she has always been into horoscopes and psychics, but not over the top. Four years ago her wife came into our lives and since then its become ghosts and spirits and all sort of paranormal. They read tarot and seek out spirits and its really all they talk about anymore. I don't believe in any of it, but I would tolerate it before, now it is embarrassing.

Like before she'd say things like my husband and I adore each other because we are Pisces and Scorpio we do adore each other but its not because of zodiac signs. Or that her psychic told her my last baby would be a girl. She was right but it was a 50/50 chance it would be. Whenever I kinda roll my eyes at some paranormal stuff she always points these things out as proof. When I point out what her psychic or their tarot has gotten wrong, she makes an excuse or says some nonsense like "well we don't always see the truth with our human eyes". Ugh.

She nuts, okay? I get it but it used to just be kooky. Now its past lives of my children and the aura of my cat. (I shit you not)

My cousin was upset I didn't invite them to a party recently, but this was a mixed party and I just didn't want them whipping out crystals and cards and talking about the fucking ghost that lives in their house. My husbands colleagues were there! Church friends, club friends, etc.

I felt bad that she felt so bad. She was really hurt and I agree, I should have just asked her not to do that. In my defense others in my family have asked them to stop at gatherings and they really don't make much of an effort.

Well now guess what, her wife insists we have a ghost in our house, she says she didn't want to mention it because she thought it was peaceful, but now she believes it to be angry or some whacko thing. She even told my 7 year old all about it and she freaked and we had to go through the whole "Monsters arent real" thing with her.

Really I know this is ridiculous, but stay with me please, I need advice. They want to cleanse my house of the spirit. Heres the thing, should I let them? It might make my cousin feel better, but I don't believe any of this hokum and I don't want to encourage it. I don't want her wife to let slip to my four young children that there is a ghost in their home. I also don't want my nice upholstery to smell like sage smoke. My cousin keeps sending me messages about how healing this would be. Shes all excited. She bought a crystal she says to keep in my home for protection and I'm just afraid if I give an inch here they'll take a mile.

What should I do? I want to roll my eyes and laugh, but honestly what harm would it do? Then again I wouldn't want this to be seen as an invitation to more.

I just reread this and it sounds trollish, I swear its not. Help?

troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth being Wiccan and believing in ghosts are two separate things.

[Anonymous]

This thread has potential.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read through all the pages, but my cousin and his wife are the same -- the wife has a business cleaning spirits out of houses. Does everyone have a cousin like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say, "No thanks. My house doesn't need cleansing and I'd really rather you didn't."

Agree. And, if you EVER say anything about ghosts and spirits to my child again, it will be the last time you see her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

*sigh* As I said, my cousin, who I grew up with, used to just believe in things like horoscopes and psychics. While I didn't share the same beliefs and found them kooky, it didn't bother me. I have never ridiculed her. About four years ago she married a wiccan woman, became wiccan and now this is all they focus on in their lives. Each time I speak with her there is some new ghost or spirit or paranormal tool. This is why I asked for advice. But you keep on being a jerk, kay?

Thank you everyone else for your advice. I like the thought of having a talk with her and taking the crystal, maybe even getting them a little gift but making it clear that they crossed a line involving my children. Also no cleansing my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

*sigh* As I said, my cousin, who I grew up with, used to just believe in things like horoscopes and psychics. While I didn't share the same beliefs and found them kooky, it didn't bother me. I have never ridiculed her. About four years ago she married a wiccan woman, became wiccan and now this is all they focus on in their lives. Each time I speak with her there is some new ghost or spirit or paranormal tool. This is why I asked for advice. But you keep on being a jerk, kay?

Thank you everyone else for your advice. I like the thought of having a talk with her and taking the crystal, maybe even getting them a little gift but making it clear that they crossed a line involving my children. Also no cleansing my house.

Do you have any overtly pushy religious relatives? Maybe you can politely make the analogy that your cousin's behavior is similar (albeit different) than when Aunt Rose goes on her "Jesus Saves" rants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

*sigh* As I said, my cousin, who I grew up with, used to just believe in things like horoscopes and psychics. While I didn't share the same beliefs and found them kooky, it didn't bother me. I have never ridiculed her. About four years ago she married a wiccan woman, became wiccan and now this is all they focus on in their lives. Each time I speak with her there is some new ghost or spirit or paranormal tool. This is why I asked for advice. But you keep on being a jerk, kay?

Thank you everyone else for your advice. I like the thought of having a talk with her and taking the crystal, maybe even getting them a little gift but making it clear that they crossed a line involving my children. Also no cleansing my house.

Do you have any overtly pushy religious relatives? Maybe you can politely make the analogy that your cousin's behavior is similar (albeit different) than when Aunt Rose goes on her "Jesus Saves" rants?

We share a rosary (and wooden spoon) carrying 94 year old abuela! She crosses herself every time my cousin comes near her because she feels her being wiccan is the work of "diablo" and leaves prayer cards in cousin's purse. Please be kind, she is 94 and precious, just the typical latin catholic grandma. I could bring that up, it might put things into perspective, thank you!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let these people into my house anymore, or anywhere close to my children. Clearly your family has different values than your cousin's.

If you don't believe in that stuff, then humoring them only validates their beliefs. I'm no saying you should be antagonistic to them, but if they would be offended at you talking about church or Jesus or the Eucharist all the time, then it's ok for you to be offended at their weird ghost stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

*sigh* As I said, my cousin, who I grew up with, used to just believe in things like horoscopes and psychics. While I didn't share the same beliefs and found them kooky, it didn't bother me. I have never ridiculed her. About four years ago she married a wiccan woman, became wiccan and now this is all they focus on in their lives. Each time I speak with her there is some new ghost or spirit or paranormal tool. This is why I asked for advice. But you keep on being a jerk, kay?

Thank you everyone else for your advice. I like the thought of having a talk with her and taking the crystal, maybe even getting them a little gift but making it clear that they crossed a line involving my children. Also no cleansing my house.

NP here. OP, I'm glad you can see past the jerkish posts. Please do tell your cousin nicely but firmly that telling your seven-year-old there was a ghost in the house caused problems that YOU had to deal with, and you are asking her not to discuss ghosts, spirits, tarot, with your children at all. Point out that you and your husband, not cousin and wife, must pick up the pieces when your still very young children are upset by the thought of ghosts or spirits.

Be prepared for resistance. If cousin then protests along any lines of "Ghosts are real, the kids need to know for their own protection" or so on, you will have to be prepared to be stronger and add that you do want your kids to see her and her wife, but you are again asking that they not bring up these topics with the children at all, and they need to honor your request regarding YOUR children. If they really still can't grasp it or argue with you, I'd tell them that you are always glad to see them but it will need to be when your kids are not around, until they can assure you they are going to honor your request that topics of the paranormal are out of bounds with your kids.

This is your prerogative as the parent. It's not a rejection of their religion (though they may see it that way and try to paint you as bigoted or cruel). It's a parent deciding what young children should be exposed to, period. That is part of your job as a parent.

I would ensure that the kids are never alone with them, even if they do agree to stop talking about these things in front of the kids-- just because if the cousin and wife really do bring up these topics in every single conversation about anything, you probably cannot really trust them to filter what they say.

Regarding the party invitation - you are never obliged to invite anyone to anything. Don't let their snit make you hesitate next time you want to host an event. If you don't invite them and they later find out and act hurt, you need to say coolly, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this party was for primarily work and church friends." Then change the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say, "No thanks. My house doesn't need cleansing and I'd really rather you didn't."

Also, please don't discuss ghosts with the kids. It freaks them out. Thanks."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this is my cousin and her wife. My cousin and I are close, same age went through school together, and she has always been into horoscopes and psychics, but not over the top. Four years ago her wife came into our lives and since then its become ghosts and spirits and all sort of paranormal. They read tarot and seek out spirits and its really all they talk about anymore. I don't believe in any of it, but I would tolerate it before, now it is embarrassing.

Like before she'd say things like my husband and I adore each other because we are Pisces and Scorpio we do adore each other but its not because of zodiac signs. Or that her psychic told her my last baby would be a girl. She was right but it was a 50/50 chance it would be. Whenever I kinda roll my eyes at some paranormal stuff she always points these things out as proof. When I point out what her psychic or their tarot has gotten wrong, she makes an excuse or says some nonsense like "well we don't always see the truth with our human eyes". Ugh.

She nuts, okay? I get it but it used to just be kooky. Now its past lives of my children and the aura of my cat. (I shit you not)

My cousin was upset I didn't invite them to a party recently, but this was a mixed party and I just didn't want them whipping out crystals and cards and talking about the fucking ghost that lives in their house. My husbands colleagues were there! Church friends, club friends, etc.

I felt bad that she felt so bad. She was really hurt and I agree, I should have just asked her not to do that. In my defense others in my family have asked them to stop at gatherings and they really don't make much of an effort.

Well now guess what, her wife insists we have a ghost in our house, she says she didn't want to mention it because she thought it was peaceful, but now she believes it to be angry or some whacko thing. She even told my 7 year old all about it and she freaked and we had to go through the whole "Monsters arent real" thing with her.

Really I know this is ridiculous, but stay with me please, I need advice. They want to cleanse my house of the spirit. Heres the thing, should I let them? It might make my cousin feel better, but I don't believe any of this hokum and I don't want to encourage it. I don't want her wife to let slip to my four young children that there is a ghost in their home. I also don't want my nice upholstery to smell like sage smoke. My cousin keeps sending me messages about how healing this would be. Shes all excited. She bought a crystal she says to keep in my home for protection and I'm just afraid if I give an inch here they'll take a mile.

What should I do? I want to roll my eyes and laugh, but honestly what harm would it do? Then again I wouldn't want this to be seen as an invitation to more.

I just reread this and it sounds trollish, I swear its not. Help?

troll. If you and your cousin were so close you'd get her beliefs but it sounds all throughout you are ridiculing it and her when you say you don't believe her 'hokum'. keep on keep on troll

0/10. You can do better. OP - it's important to call childish nonsense out for what it is. If you don't, you just encourage it.

[Anonymous]

Don't allow this cousin around your kids. I've seen too many "psychics" through the decades do perverted things to vulnerable people under the guise of healing, helping, wisdom, and so forth.

A person who truly had a special gift would never, ever need to be so aggressive about it with anyone. It would not ever need to be the center of attention. There would be enough sensitivity to know that the behavior was making people uncomfortable.