My cousin is into the paranormal and its making me crazy. Need some advice please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PPs here are pretty damn disrespectful, but I'm not surprised that you people aren't able to be open-minded. Good for you!

I still agree that it's not right of her to force her ideas on you. Belief is deeply personal. Nobody has the right to tell you how to live (just like you actually don't have the right to make fun of her beliefs, but you go ahead and be whatever kind of person you are).

So its totally cool to believe you can scare a 7 year old and no one should be pissed of at you for it, because it is your deeply personal belief? Come on.

I'm the PP you are responding to. I like how you also selectively quoted my post, and omitted the part where I said this:

Having said that, OP your cousin is out of bounds.

So no, clearly I do not condone her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At first I was going to write a very strongly worded post in support of the OP and then I read all the replies. As a Christian, I find this thread almost as appalling as OP's cousin's behavior. I like how atheists are the ones who scream about intolerance when I remember myself being called "crazy" in high school because I believed in the miracles of Christ's birth.

I'm the OP and I'm catholic. My cousin was raised catholic too. Now shes wiccan.

I'd love to know your opinion.

I'm grateful for the advice I've gotten so far and don't think anyone was particularly mean.

Well let's just say that I have grown up with close friends of many different religions (though I've never met a Wiccan in my life!). I am from a Baptist family but my dad had a job that had him traveling a lot internationally, and I went to high school in the Middle East. Now my closest friends are Jewish, Muslims (Sufi and Sunni), and one Hindu. I also have very close church friends, but my friends that I grew up from childhood with all belong to those above faiths. Some of their beliefs would provoke scornful reactions from my church friends, which would be as disrespectful as the PPs in this thread (whackadoo? Really?) Maybe you don't see them as disrespectful, but I do because I grew up learning specifically how to be sensitive and respectful of other people's beliefs. The only time I personally experienced attacks on my faith were actually from atheists, not from people of other religions.

BUT this is just my reaction to your Wiccan cousin being called crazy or "whackadoo" or that other PP being told her religion "isn't less stupid than all the other religions out there" (in saying that the PP insulted our faith too, OP).

My opinion of your cousin's behavior is separate from my opinion of your cousin's right to have her beliefs. Obviously, I don't agree with your cousin's beliefs but I would have respected them if she hadn't tried to force them on you and especially your kids. She deserves a slap for that. It's not ok and my first reaction was to write a very long angry post about how shitty her intrusive behavior was. Then I got sidetracked by this other problem, lol.

You need to cut your cousin out of your life completely - estrangement, in other words - because only through your actions will you show her that her behavior is intolerable. Cut her out for years if you have to. Her behavior is toxic and shows mental instability.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of a friend of mine from high school. Shudder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is my cousin and her wife. My cousin and I are close, same age went through school together, and she has always been into horoscopes and psychics, but not over the top. Four years ago her wife came into our lives and since then its become ghosts and spirits and all sort of paranormal. They read tarot and seek out spirits and its really all they talk about anymore. I don't believe in any of it, but I would tolerate it before, now it is embarrassing.

LOL - gaslight the shit out of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did your cousin get a phone call about a storage pod that was paid for by a dead relative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this is my cousin and her wife. My cousin and I are close, same age went through school together, and she has always been into horoscopes and psychics, but not over the top. Four years ago her wife came into our lives and since then its become ghosts and spirits and all sort of paranormal. They read tarot and seek out spirits and its really all they talk about anymore. I don't believe in any of it, but I would tolerate it before, now it is embarrassing.

LOL - gaslight the shit out of them!

Ugh my husband does this, he will totally egg her wife on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well let's just say that I have grown up with close friends of many different religions (though I've never met a Wiccan in my life!). I am from a Baptist family but my dad had a job that had him traveling a lot internationally, and I went to high school in the Middle East. Now my closest friends are Jewish, Muslims (Sufi and Sunni), and one Hindu. I also have very close church friends, but my friends that I grew up from childhood with all belong to those above faiths. Some of their beliefs would provoke scornful reactions from my church friends, which would be as disrespectful as the PPs in this thread (whackadoo? Really?) Maybe you don't see them as disrespectful, but I do because I grew up learning specifically how to be sensitive and respectful of other people's beliefs. The only time I personally experienced attacks on my faith were actually from atheists, not from people of other religions.

BUT this is just my reaction to your Wiccan cousin being called crazy or "whackadoo" or that other PP being told her religion "isn't less stupid than all the other religions out there" (in saying that the PP insulted our faith too, OP).

My opinion of your cousin's behavior is separate from my opinion of your cousin's right to have her beliefs. Obviously, I don't agree with your cousin's beliefs but I would have respected them if she hadn't tried to force them on you and especially your kids. She deserves a slap for that. It's not ok and my first reaction was to write a very long angry post about how shitty her intrusive behavior was. Then I got sidetracked by this other problem, lol.

You need to cut your cousin out of your life completely - estrangement, in other words - because only through your actions will you show her that her behavior is intolerable. Cut her out for years if you have to. Her behavior is toxic and shows mental instability.

I guess I don't because I've never really seen them as religious beliefs. I know this is wrong and I need to respect that this is her religion. My brain just doesn't work that way yet.

Thank you for your perspective, it really put me in check and I need to think more carefully about this situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP and I'm catholic. My cousin was raised catholic too. Now shes wiccan.

Tell her that their talk of ghosts etc. is upsetting your children, and you want her to stop involving them.

They shouldn't be carrying on about their beliefs at family gatherings anymore than anyone else should. They need to check their pushiness at the door.

[Anonymous]

I know people who have beliefs like your cousin. i don't share them. Fortunately, the people I know who believe those things are pretty respectful. They seem to sense I don't want to talk about it, and we all just kind of respect boundaries and avoid those topics.

If anyone I know every pulled the stuff your cousin and her wife is pulling with you, I'd be direct and say, "I don't share your beliefs. I don't want to discuss them. And I don't want you discussing those things with my children. If that's a problem, then we need to wish each other well and part ways."

Period. You shouldn't have to participate in any kind of religious or pseudo religious ceremony you don't believe in to appease someone else.

Be polite but direct. No need for words like "whackadoo" or anything else offensive. In fact, being offensive actually gets in the way of what you are trying to say -- that you don't want to discuss or participate in those things with them. If you are offensive, then they will think you want to engage in debate. And that is not your aim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PPs here are pretty damn disrespectful, but I'm not surprised that you people aren't able to be open-minded. Good for you!

Having said that, OP your cousin is out of bounds. Frankly she's stupid if she thought she wasn't going to get laughed at by sharing her beliefs with you so maybe this will be a lesson for her. I actually share the same beliefs as your cousin, but I do NOT ever share them and nobody in RL knows I have them - for precisely the reason demonstrated in this thread. People are intolerant, narrow-minded, and disrespectful about our beliefs. That's just how it is.

I still agree that it's not right of her to force her ideas on you. Belief is deeply personal. Nobody has the right to tell you how to live (just like you actually don't have the right to make fun of her beliefs, but you go ahead and be whatever kind of person you are).

Your beliefs aren't more or less stupid than any other religion. I'll give you that.

I love you PP. OP this is hilarious. I'd tell her no and then if she freaks out the kids flat out tell them that Aunt Viv is a nut job and ghosts aren't real. Even the 5 year old. It's a teachable moment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the ghost spoke to you and said that your cousin and wife should keep their traps shut about ghosts when around young children.

I would love to hear about your cat's aura, but I'd like to smack someone who told my kids that they had past lives.

If you ask them, they might tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the ghost spoke to you and said that your cousin and wife should keep their traps shut about ghosts when around young children.

I would love to hear about your cat's aura, but I'd like to smack someone who told my kids that they had past lives.

If you ask them, they might tell you.

I think psychics are assholes who prey on the naive and bereaved. I seriously think they should do prison time for fraud and have to pay restitution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PPs here are pretty damn disrespectful, but I'm not surprised that you people aren't able to be open-minded. Good for you!

I still agree that it's not right of her to force her ideas on you. Belief is deeply personal. Nobody has the right to tell you how to live (just like you actually don't have the right to make fun of her beliefs, but you go ahead and be whatever kind of person you are).

So its totally cool to believe you can scare a 7 year old and no one should be pissed of at you for it, because it is your deeply personal belief? Come on.

I'm the PP you are responding to. I like how you also selectively quoted my post, and omitted the part where I said this:

Having said that, OP your cousin is out of bounds.

So no, clearly I do not condone her behavior.

I was just pointing out you being "whatever kind of person you are"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the ghost spoke to you and said that your cousin and wife should keep their traps shut about ghosts when around young children.

I would love to hear about your cat's aura, but I'd like to smack someone who told my kids that they had past lives.

If you ask them, they might tell you.

I think psychics are assholes who prey on the naive and bereaved. I seriously think they should do prison time for fraud and have to pay restitution.

I'd like to smack my Protestant SIL who told my daughter that her kidney disease would be cured if she prayed about it. They both her a bible and had a whole church praying over her. Of course my daughter was hysterical the next time she became ill. Surgery is scheduled for next month, and she keeps brig up how all of the prayers failed.

Assholes are especially effective when they are family.

[Anonymous]

They gave her a bible...