Ex-Wife Won't Stop Coming Into the House

[Anonymous]

Kids right to mother trumps right to privacy in your own home? Seriously!

[Anonymous]

By all means, tell her about the security cameras. Show her the movies.

[Anonymous]

Did you buy the house or did she and your husband.

[Anonymous]

It's sad that she's much more enjoyed by the children than you. She fills the void you created.

[Anonymous]

OP here- same story, different excuses. At first she hung out afterschool with the kids and made herself coffee/sandwich. Now that has been curtailed but still coming over for extended period of time using different excuses. House was married home before but she took a payout and we own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that she's much more enjoyed by the children than you. She fills the void you created.

Not sure what this means??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- same story, different excuses. At first she hung out afterschool with the kids and made herself coffee/sandwich. Now that has been curtailed but still coming over for extended period of time using different excuses. House was married home before but she took a payout and we own it.

"excuses" = "kid asks to go get something left at home"?

What is your expectation about situations like these? It sounds like she has adjusted her behavior, just not exactly the way you want her to.

[Anonymous]

She's only coming into the house with the kids, is that correct? You said you have cameras in the house; have you observed her doing anything other than making herself coffee and a sandwich and hanging out with her kids?

Is your husband as annoyed by this as you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's only coming into the house with the kids, is that correct? You said you have cameras in the house; have you observed her doing anything other than making herself coffee and a sandwich and hanging out with her kids?

Is your husband as annoyed by this as you are?

OP said cameras aren't inside the house -- how the heck is she supposed to know what's going on inside?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- same story, different excuses. At first she hung out afterschool with the kids and made herself coffee/sandwich. Now that has been curtailed but still coming over for extended period of time using different excuses. House was married home before but she took a payout and we own it.

"excuses" = "kid asks to go get something left at home"?

What is your expectation about situations like these? It sounds like she has adjusted her behavior, just not exactly the way you want her to.

OP here = "excuses" as in it can wait until you are home from work -- no emergencies

[Anonymous]

sounds like she wants to see her kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- same story, different excuses. At first she hung out afterschool with the kids and made herself coffee/sandwich. Now that has been curtailed but still coming over for extended period of time using different excuses. House was married home before but she took a payout and we own it.

"excuses" = "kid asks to go get something left at home"?

What is your expectation about situations like these? It sounds like she has adjusted her behavior, just not exactly the way you want her to.

OP here = "excuses" as in it can wait until you are home from work -- no emergencies

Look, I'm all about boundaries. When my ex's new partner expressed a need for different boundaries than he and I had previously established (which were basically that it was fine for me and DD to come over to pick up ballet shoes she forgot, winter coat, etc. whether he was home or not), I absolutely complied with her request. But I think you are being a little bit pedantic here. If she is picking up the kids and they need to grab something from the house, I don't see why that has to wait until 6pm or 7pm. Would you be more okay with the drivebys (even if they last more than 5 minutes) if she notified you when they were on their way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's only coming into the house with the kids, is that correct? You said you have cameras in the house; have you observed her doing anything other than making herself coffee and a sandwich and hanging out with her kids?

Is your husband as annoyed by this as you are?

OP said cameras aren't inside the house -- how the heck is she supposed to know what's going on inside?

I must have missed that. She said "we have cameras." If they're not inside, how does OP know the ex made herself coffee and a sandwich? Did the kids tell OP this?

[Anonymous]

She is abusing the privilege of running in with a kid to grab something. Going forward, she'll have to wait outside and if she wants to hang with kids, do so at her house and you'll get them there?

Also, to the PP(s?) saying don't put the kids in the middle. The ex is the one doing that by not abiding by the house rules. They've asked her not to come in yet she continues to do so by having her kids let her in. Not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is abusing the privilege of running in with a kid to grab something. Going forward, she'll have to wait outside and if she wants to hang with kids, do so at her house and you'll get them there?

Also, to the PP(s?) saying don't put the kids in the middle. The ex is the one doing that by not abiding by the house rules. They've asked her not to come in yet she continues to do so by having her kids let her in. Not cool.

It sounds like the kids are asking to come over to get stuff and the ex is complying with that. If the rule is that kids can't bring their mom over, that needs to be communicated to the kids. My point was that the kids should not be the ones who are responsible for communicating it to their mom. That should be done by the adults, as it is an adult problem.