My husband's ex-wife makes a point of coming by (with our without kid) when we aren't home/at work and coming into our house with all the excuses in the book why she needs access (kid forgot something, need to pair socks, etc.) We have told her every which way possible to call/text first and make arrangement to come by (not show up, call once she's in the house, etc). She is basically doing whatever she wants and has no respect for our home or boundaries. I'm about done with it. Anyone deal with something similar? |
Who gave her the keys? |
Why does she still have keys/access?
He has a child with her so there is stuff that comes with that but this is your house. Put your foot down and change the locks. |
Kids let her in. She usually walks in with them. She's home while we work. |
I'm the ex-wife and I wouldn't do this. Is it possible that your husband had an arrangement with her previously and did not actually "cancel" it?
I agree that you should change the locks. I would. |
MYOB |
Ex-wife PP. Okay, this is different. Is she expected to wait outside while the kids go in and get whatever it is that they need? Or are they expected to go without those things because you're not home? I agree that a text saying "Hey, Jane forgot her math book, we're going to drop by to pick it up" would be polite, but you made it sound like she was entering by herself when you weren't there. |
You all have boundary challenges.
How old are the kids? |
+1 |
OP here - before we were married he did what he could but she basically came and went as she wished since she had the time. I can assure you the arrangement has been cancelled for years now. She says we can go into her house whenever we want so what's the big deal. Said she should have access. It's absurd but there are kids in the middle. |
You CHILDREN are allowed to let their MOTHER into their home. I don't think she has to wait outside. Its unnecessary and sets a cold environment. As long as she isn't lingering or going through the medicine cabinet I don't see a big deal. Smile and say Hi while you pass her in the kitchen and leave it at that. |
One's house is one's business. |
OP here - She's expected to contact us and get the things when we are home or wait outside. Not sit inside for an hour and leave with a bag full of stuff. We have cameras. |
How often does this happen and how old are the kids? I'm trying to think of how to handle this but so far I have nothing. |
What the heck does that mean? Not sure what could be more "my own business" than someone entering MY home uninvited. |