Smoking Switcheroo - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wellbutrin helps with nicotine cravings. vaping is better than smoking. Tell her when she smokes, not to smoke the entire cigarette - just two puffs. Gradually wean down nicotine levels.

Changing up habits help - if you have a cig with coffee in the am then crap - gotta beak the habit. Switch to hot tea and toast, or a protein shake and morning walk.

This is really tone deaf.

I don’t even smoke (never have), but if you told me to replace my morning coffee with a protein shake and a walk around the block, I would punch you in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably in the minority here, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to spend 10 years taking care of a sick spouse who dies early, and then spend the last years of my life sad and alone. I’d lay out my expectations that my spouse come up with a plan for quitting, execute it, have some sort of accountability, and have a deadline that they need to meet or I walk.

Unless I misread it, they are already married. Why make more drama. It’s part of who she is. Take good with bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wellbutrin helps with nicotine cravings. vaping is better than smoking. Tell her when she smokes, not to smoke the entire cigarette - just two puffs. Gradually wean down nicotine levels.

Changing up habits help - if you have a cig with coffee in the am then crap - gotta beak the habit. Switch to hot tea and toast, or a protein shake and morning walk.

This is really tone deaf.

I don’t even smoke (never have), but if you told me to replace my morning coffee with a protein shake and a walk around the block, I would punch you in the face.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably in the minority here, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to spend 10 years taking care of a sick spouse who dies early, and then spend the last years of my life sad and alone. I’d lay out my expectations that my spouse come up with a plan for quitting, execute it, have some sort of accountability, and have a deadline that they need to meet or I walk.

Unless I misread it, they are already married. Why make more drama. It’s part of who she is. Take good with bad.

PP here, and I would do this if married. If we were dating I’d just dump them.

I had a grandparent who had lung cancer from smoking and died a slow, painful death over 15 years. I didn’t sign up to take care of someone who decided smoking is more important than our marriage. If people want to make unhealthy choices, fine, but I’m not playing nurse.

[Anonymous]

Also, one of the ironies of being a smoker is when it is pushed underground your mind races to find opportunities to smoke. If OP said he loves her and was less judgmental she may make the choice on her own. As noted a smoker needs to want to quit. A nagging spouse makes you want to smoke more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably in the minority here, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to spend 10 years taking care of a sick spouse who dies early, and then spend the last years of my life sad and alone. I’d lay out my expectations that my spouse come up with a plan for quitting, execute it, have some sort of accountability, and have a deadline that they need to meet or I walk.

Unless I misread it, they are already married. Why make more drama. It’s part of who she is. Take good with bad.

PP here, and I would do this if married. If we were dating I’d just dump them.

I had a grandparent who had lung cancer from smoking and died a slow, painful death over 15 years. I didn’t sign up to take care of someone who decided smoking is more important than our marriage. If people want to make unhealthy choices, fine, but I’m not playing nurse.

Good luck with “my way or the highway” rules. Divorce is expensive and often combative. Worse than living with a smoker who is otherwise kind. Stop trying to control other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wellbutrin helps with nicotine cravings. vaping is better than smoking. Tell her when she smokes, not to smoke the entire cigarette - just two puffs. Gradually wean down nicotine levels.

Changing up habits help - if you have a cig with coffee in the am then crap - gotta beak the habit. Switch to hot tea and toast, or a protein shake and morning walk.

This is really tone deaf.

I don’t even smoke (never have), but if you told me to replace my morning coffee with a protein shake and a walk around the block, I would punch you in the face.

Same.

Your morning coffee is worth all that? I must be drinking the wrong coffee!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably in the minority here, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to spend 10 years taking care of a sick spouse who dies early, and then spend the last years of my life sad and alone. I’d lay out my expectations that my spouse come up with a plan for quitting, execute it, have some sort of accountability, and have a deadline that they need to meet or I walk.

Unless I misread it, they are already married. Why make more drama. It’s part of who she is. Take good with bad.

Did you miss the part about "unhealthy for him and his child" and also "makes his child more likely to smoke"?

Dumbass response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m probably in the minority here, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to spend 10 years taking care of a sick spouse who dies early, and then spend the last years of my life sad and alone. I’d lay out my expectations that my spouse come up with a plan for quitting, execute it, have some sort of accountability, and have a deadline that they need to meet or I walk.

Unless I misread it, they are already married. Why make more drama. It’s part of who she is. Take good with bad.

Did you miss the part about "unhealthy for him and his child" and also "makes his child more likely to smoke"?

Dumbass response.

Hyperbole. Go read the “I regret getting divorced” thread. Divorcing over closet smoking is stupid. And he will absolutely regret it.

[Anonymous]

This would totally disgust me—I’ve never smoked and the smell is suffocating to me. But I’d try to support her through efforts to quit. I’m fine with the smell of a vape so I would be okay with that. If my spouse just refused to make an effort to quit, I would honestly be rethinking the marriage and relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW sounds like me. I'd quit and then start up again slowly and then the cravings would just take over my life. I was trying to hide it, but it got harder and harder to do that. I too would make up excuses to get away from my family so I could smoke. I was stressed out about it and worse, I was ashamed.

I finally asked my doctor to prescribe Chantix. It was expensive since it wasn't covered by my insurance and I wasn't sure it would work. I had quit before just to start up again. I smoked while in Chantix for about two weeks I think and then I stopped smoking altogether. That was over two years ago and I haven't had a single cigarette since and don't really want one. When I stopped smoking altogether, DS was three and DD was one.

Sometimes I do fantasize about what it would be like to hold a cigarette in my hand and "enjoy" a smoke. But then I recall the smell and the taste, the stress, the guilt, and the shame, and I'm over it.

I know some folks have had issues with Chantix. I personally suffered none of those and am extremely thankful for Chantix. Without it, I would still be a smoker today.

I never realized it was so easy to spot your local pharma rep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would totally disgust me—I’ve never smoked and the smell is suffocating to me. But I’d try to support her through efforts to quit. I’m fine with the smell of a vape so I would be okay with that. If my spouse just refused to make an effort to quit, I would honestly be rethinking the marriage and relationship.

This is me too. Couldn’t imagine kissing her plus the eventual hacking cough would gross me out.

[Anonymous]

Tell her every time she smokes a cigarette, she then has to smoke you.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 4 1/2 years old, folks!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is 4 1/2 years old, folks!!!!!!!!

Now it makes sense...as what educated, upper class person would be smoking in 2019?!