I Don't Ow You an Account of How I Spend My Time

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, OP makes money than her DH, but she totally doesn't resent that fact. Not one bit.

The parent-child dynamic seems common in marriages where the woman is a super-driven professional and marries someone who basically lacks her sense of drive.

Maybe there is some wisdom to men being intimidated by women who have a higher educational/socioeconomic status than they do.

[Anonymous]

Your title is Freudian. Will you stay or will you go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not usually one to throw this out, but I'm start wondering about an affair.

Op your title is Freudian. Will you stay or will you go?

[Anonymous]

What is Freudian?

This is how my days go:

Daily:

Drop off and pick up kids from school
Make dinners, pack lunches, make breakfasts
Daily housecleaning maintenance
Empty trash
Clean out cat boxes
Commute to work 30 mins (kif traffic), 15 - 20 if no traffic. Total commute maybe 60 min. per day
Make necessary household related calls - Drs., insurance, etc.

Once each week:

Pay the bills, go over finances
Clean bathrooms
Make sure house is dusted an vacuumed. (Kids help with this).

Other projects I am working on right now:

Stripping and reglazing bathtub (longer and harder than thought, spent all day yesterday stripping the tub)

Install new dishwasher

Repair broken mirror in the living room

If I get to it:

Put up Christmas lights

Rake leaves

Finish drainage system in yard.

DW will freak if I do not get to the Christmas lights, but in addition to all this sh*t I have a full-time job, which she thinks just b/c my hours are flexible I can do all this crap and then do my work.

I don't care if she comes home to no Christmas lights. She will have time to get up on that ladder herself. Tell her boss she needs the time off for that.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and not much changes when DW is here, except she will cook meals and do laundry, kids will dust and vacuum, I will do 1/2 of bathrooms in the house and all that hard "man work" listed at the bottom. DW will still complain she has "no time for herself" and that I do not do enough around the house. I should actually be kicking back a bit today. Oldest DD is off to the Redskins game and younger one is at friends. Instead, I will be doing all this other crap. The only enjoyable task is the tub stripping. It has a zen quality to it, quite and mediatative work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and not much changes when DW is here, except she will cook meals and do laundry, kids will dust and vacuum, I will do 1/2 of bathrooms in the house and all that hard "man work" listed at the bottom. DW will still complain she has "no time for herself" and that I do not do enough around the house. I should actually be kicking back a bit today. Oldest DD is off to the Redskins game and younger one is at friends. Instead, I will be doing all this other crap. The only enjoyable task is the tub stripping. It has a zen quality to it, quite and mediatative work.

You're obviously not happy in your marriage. Sounds like time for a heart to heart with yourself. What are you lacking, what do you need, what can you tolerate...what are your options...is your wife aware of your true level of discontent...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about overloading him with stuff to do. When I need my DH to do things I just put it on our shared family google calendar so the phone popus a reminder. It seems to work. Also, he should be open with telling you what and what he has been doing. If he isn't hiding anything he ought to be able to tell you what he was doing. At the same time you don't want to be over the top about it.

True, he should be able to. However, it sounds like OP is a micromanaging nagger and I'm sure he's avoiding telling her he relaxed because she'll lose her shit. I can't imagine being stuck with such a controlling spouse who wanted me to account for exactly what I did in a 3 hr time span. If this was a husband writing in about his wife, everyone would be calling him a controlling asshole.

My husband (ex-husband) was always worried if I were carrying my weight. If I took a breath, he'd wonder why something hadn't been done or why I was asking for his help with a task.

Exhausting. Ex-husband.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, why do you have this dynamic in your marriage that you feel a need to micro-manage when you're away?

Is your husband a big-baby slacker type? If so, I can understand it. There are too many men like that.

If he gets stuff done in a reasonably timely and mature way, then I agree with those who think you should back off.

He was obviously doing something you wouldn't approve of during the time specified. It could be harmless, or it could be nasty.

[Anonymous]

Why do wives think they need to manage their husbands? And PP, what could the DH in question be up to? How would you treat your DH in this situation?

[Anonymous]

My ex-hubby traveled a lot, so we spent a lot of time apart. But I couldn't imagine trying to account for every minute of his day.

When he was home, I gave him the honey do list then backed off and let him get it done in his own time.

[Anonymous]

My ex-hubby traveled a lot, so we spent a lot of time apart. But I couldn't imagine trying to account for every minute of his day.

When he was home, I gave him the honey do list then backed off and let him get it done in his own time.

[Anonymous]

You sound like the worst wife ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

Np here. You know what? You think you are clever but no one wants to read your misogynistic bs.

He's right, cuts a little close to home, doesn't it, honey?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP makes money than her DH, but she totally doesn't resent that fact. Not one bit.

The parent-child dynamic seems common in marriages where the woman is a super-driven professional and marries someone who basically lacks her sense of drive.

Maybe there is some wisdom to men being intimidated by women who have a higher educational/socioeconomic status than they do.

I agree on your statement re: the parent-child dynamic. My husband does not have my drive, at work or with household stuff. Constant source of tension in our house.

[Anonymous]

Tenants are responsible for caulk