I Don't Ow You an Account of How I Spend My Time

[Anonymous]

If the conversation were reversed and he was grilling you in this way, you would be annoyed and offended. No one wants to be managed. Take care of the caulk yourself when you get back if it is not being done at an acceptable pace, or call someone to do it now.

[Anonymous]

I am worried sick

Op, this is your problem. This is the only important part of your post.
Chill

[Anonymous]

I know every thread someone says "troll," but this isn't real, is it?

If my wife were gone on a 10 day trip, the real answer of what I did from 3:30 - 6 might very well be that I watched porn for most of that time.

[Anonymous]

I'm reminded of my bil, who's chief complaint in his marriage is that he feels like an employee, and an under appreciated one at that.

They're now seperated.

[Anonymous]

I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

Np here. You know what? You think you are clever but no one wants to read your misogynistic bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is what my DH told me today. I am away on a 10 day business trip and I am worried sick about coming home to a house that is a wreck. I know my DH is not keeping up with cleaning, etc. I asked him today whether he managed to caulk the bathtub at our rental property this afternoon, since he told me he was there on other business. He said no, it wasn't in his plan when he went there and he didn't have the tools with him. I know he left work today at 3:30 pm and he came home at almost 6 pm. When I mentioned the tub, he told me I keep adding things to his "to do list" and it is getting longer than he can keep up with it. He had two hours at least between leaving work and coming home to do that tub. He said instead he was busy with other business, but he couldn't specify. He then told me that he doesn't have to account for his time to me. WTF?

Maybe he was buying you a Christmas present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

Np here. You know what? You think you are clever but no one wants to read your misogynistic bs.

Nope- not a misogynist at all, my house is 50/50. My wife is treated with the utmost care and respect. If she were to treat my like a servant I'd take it as a permit to go off and do whatever I pleased.

If she talked to me like OP did I'd come home with a hickey and a 911 Carrera

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

Np here. You know what? You think you are clever but no one wants to read your misogynistic bs.

Nope- not a misogynist at all, my house is 50/50. My wife is treated with the utmost care and respect. If she were to treat my like a servant I'd take it as a permit to go off and do whatever I pleased.

If she talked to me like OP did I'd come home with a hickey and a 911 Carrera

I agree with your sentiment as far as the OP's actions but no one is perfect. Do you really talk to your spouse perfectly all the time and never trespass against each other? If you snapped at her one day and she was offended would it be fine for her to come home with a hickey? Isn't there a "honey it hurt my feelings when you did x,y,z" moment in your home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is what my DH told me today. I am away on a 10 day business trip and I am worried sick about coming home to a house that is a wreck. I know my DH is not keeping up with cleaning, etc. I asked him today whether he managed to caulk the bathtub at our rental property this afternoon, since he told me he was there on other business. He said no, it wasn't in his plan when he went there and he didn't have the tools with him. I know he left work today at 3:30 pm and he came home at almost 6 pm. When I mentioned the tub, he told me I keep adding things to his "to do list" and it is getting longer than he can keep up with it. He had two hours at least between leaving work and coming home to do that tub. He said instead he was busy with other business, but he couldn't specify. He then told me that he doesn't have to account for his time to me. WTF?

You really need to back off. His answers are defensive and evasive, as people often become when they are constantly nagged and belittled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd back off; you're going to build a monster.
If you rode me like that the second you left town I'd be doing cocaine off a hookers boobs in your bed.

Np here. You know what? You think you are clever but no one wants to read your misogynistic bs.

Nope- not a misogynist at all, my house is 50/50. My wife is treated with the utmost care and respect. If she were to treat my like a servant I'd take it as a permit to go off and do whatever I pleased.

If she talked to me like OP did I'd come home with a hickey and a 911 Carrera

I agree with your sentiment as far as the OP's actions but no one is perfect. Do you really talk to your spouse perfectly all the time and never trespass against each other? If you snapped at her one day and she was offended would it be fine for her to come home with a hickey? Isn't there a "honey it hurt my feelings when you did x,y,z" moment in your home?

Of course she and I talk if there is something that is bothering us, and there are very very few resentment between us. My proposed remedy to disrespect is certainly extreme and probably not likely. However, I have the strong suspicion the OP has been treating her husband like this forever, people cannot live under slavish conditions without some sort of outlet. When treated in this manner people develop a very deep-seated rage, and I still stick by my original post that says she is building a monster.
Remember American Beauty?

[Anonymous]

Holy crap OP. Is this your typical dynamic with your husband? You sound like the world's biggest nag. If you're always like this, I feel sorry for him.

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides here.

On one hand, I can see how he may feel that he doesn't have to give you a minute-by-minute account for everything he does every day. Yet, on the other hand, I understand that in order to keep the home fires burning, there are things that need to be done + if they are not done and he does not have a good reason why, then it can be very disconcerting on your end why not.

If I were in your shoes, I think the main issue here is that you and your hubby need to discuss compromise. A little give and take here & there is in good order.

When you return from your business trip, you and him need to sit down and discuss this issue when things are not heated between you two. Preferably when you both are in a calmer and good mood.

After all, the key(s) to any type of successful relationship are good communication and compromise.

I wish you both the best of luck in doing this.

[Anonymous]

*better mood.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is treating him like an employee while she's away instead of like he's a co-equal shift manager.