S/O Dating a "State Department" employee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overthinking it, OP. People with any perceived power/prestige sometimes allow it to go to their heads. Lots of asshole lawyers out here, but also lots of awesome people who are lawyers too. This is akin to asking are people in zip code 20003 likely cheaters because it's on Cap Hill.

I agree. Now, if he were at the Secret Service...then I might be worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How ironic that infidelity would be rampant among professionals whose career depends upon high-level security clearance. Infidelity is grounds for loss of clearance, which in turn means loss of employment.

Ha ha ha - no. Only if it's with a foreign person. Which is why so much of the infidelity is intramural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ironic that infidelity would be rampant among professionals whose career depends upon high-level security clearance. Infidelity is grounds for loss of clearance, which in turn means loss of employment.

Ha ha ha - no. Only if it's with a foreign person. Which is why so much of the infidelity is intramural.

Actually the issue is being blackmail able. If you are trying to keep it from your spouse, it can cause you to lose your clearance -- they address it in a full scope polygraph. Now, if your wife knows about it -- you are not blackmail able, then there is no problem.

The nice thing about working in the IC is I really do not worry about things being taken from my cubicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never dated anyone in it but my dad worked in the state department and he fits this bill. Very dishonest, will straight up admit to your face that he lied to you about something, and super cheap. He was a monster of a husband and we grew to love the years when he was away. When he came back after 3 years the relationship just fell apart- I have never met anyone with poorer interpersonal skills. Everything had to be his way, there was no room for my mom's opinion. She finally left when I was 16 and we all cut off contact with him. Because he wouldnt pay for college and I was drowning in student loans we were forced to get back in touch with him, but it;s not a close relationship to say the least. He is always moaning about how my mother left him and hoping to get back together with her, meanwhile my mother would not go there in a million years. He has been through a string of women since them, never really gotten too close and doesnt have any close friends. Now he is single and alone- his closest friend is his mother. I would feel bad for him if he weren't such a P.O.S. This is a man who has a trust fund and makes 6 figures and thinks Chipotle is an expensive meal- everything with him is shoddy and a struggle. SO if others in the state department are like him, then yes, stay far away.

What does that even mean? How could he pay for college if you had cut off all ties with him? How would he even know how to do that? (And why would he, if you had cut all ties with him?) Doesn't this just mean that you stopped talking to him, but then asked him for money to get through college? You weren't "forced" to do anything.

We were forced by economic factors, you imbecile. If you're asking if someone put a gun to my head, no. But there are other ways of making people do things.

But you said "he wouldn't pay for college" as though that is another thing that makes him horrible. Did he pay for college? And could he possibly have paid for college if you had "cut off all ties" with him?

It's really not your business. You seem WAY overly personally invested in this, tbh. Are your kids not speaking to you or something? And from your hostile tone, you're not exactly someone I would want to open up to. Thanks but no thanks.

I'm not sure what makes me seem personally invested and I certainly did not mean to have a hostile tone. (I have to point out that you called me an imbecile for asking a couple clarifying questions and saying that I did not see you being "forced" into anything.) I am curious by the situation you set out and truly wondering about the sequence of the not paying/paying for college. I'm also curious about other details that make you dislike him so much. From what you describe he admits that he has lied, and he doesn't like to spend money, and that he doesn't consider other people's opinions. He also has trouble maintaining relationships. You have an awful lot of extremely negative feelings and I am wondering if there is more to it.

As to it "not being my business" and me not being "someone you would want to open up to," I'm not sure how to respond to that. Those are weird concepts to even bring up on an anonymous message board, when you shared that much already with the entire internet-viewing public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aka dating someone in the Agency.

Anyone (as an outsider or insider) have experience dating someone with this job? I briefly did and heard some horror stories about cheating, etc. My impression was that most were single and had great difficulties maintaining a healthy balance in life.

No. I find them very arrogant, boring, and pretentious. I've worked with State for years and there is nothing quite like them. They are legends in their own minds.

[Anonymous]

My husband was on the secretary's detail for a couple years. Almost ruined the marriage. It was by far the worst assignment ever because he was never home and trip details were always changing last minute so it was impossible to plan anything. We fought a lot and sex was infrequent. I felt incredibly lonely and depressed. I cried often.

I wouldn't be surprised if he found some female company on these trips, especially since I was such a mess, but I never found any evidence of such. I hope I never find any evidence either... I just don't want to know at this point. It'd really crush me, especially since I was faithful to him despite how miserable I felt.

On a positive note, we're doing much better now, probably the best we've ever been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aka dating someone in the Agency.

Anyone (as an outsider or insider) have experience dating someone with this job? I briefly did and heard some horror stories about cheating, etc. My impression was that most were single and had great difficulties maintaining a healthy balance in life.

No. I find them very arrogant, boring, and pretentious. I've worked with State for years and there is nothing quite like them. They are legends in their own minds.

They have no social skills. Almost to a person.

[Anonymous]

Just don't watch Homeland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aka dating someone in the Agency.

Anyone (as an outsider or insider) have experience dating someone with this job? I briefly did and heard some horror stories about cheating, etc. My impression was that most were single and had great difficulties maintaining a healthy balance in life.

No. I find them very arrogant, boring, and pretentious. I've worked with State for years and there is nothing quite like them. They are legends in their own minds.

They have no social skills. Almost to a person.

He works for CIA, the Agency, not State. Why aren't people reading the thread?