Reply to S/O Dating a "State Department" employee

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Never dated anyone in it but my dad worked in the state department and he fits this bill.  Very dishonest, will straight up admit to your face that he lied to you about something, and super cheap.  He was a monster of a husband and we grew to love the years when he was away.  When he came back after 3 years the relationship just fell apart- I have never met anyone with poorer interpersonal skills.  Everything had to be his way, there was no room for my mom's opinion.  She finally left when I was 16 and we all cut off contact with him.[b]  Because he wouldnt pay for college and I was drowning in student loans we were forced to get back in touch with him,[/b] but it;s not a close relationship to say the least.  He is always moaning about how my mother left him and hoping to get back together with her, meanwhile my mother would not go there in a million years.  He has been through a string of women since them, never really gotten too close and doesnt have any close friends.  Now he is single and alone- his closest friend is his mother. I would feel bad for him if he weren't such a P.O.S.  This is a man who has a trust fund and makes 6 figures and thinks Chipotle is an expensive meal- everything with him is shoddy and a struggle.   SO if others in the state department are like him, then yes, stay far away.[/quote]

What does that even mean?  How could he pay for college if you had cut off all ties with him?  How would he even know how to do that?  (And why would he, if you had cut all ties with him?)  Doesn't this just mean that you stopped talking to him, but then asked him for money to get through college?  You weren't "forced" to do anything.[/quote]

We were forced by economic factors, you imbecile. If you're asking if someone put a gun to my head, no.  But there are other ways of making people do things.[/quote]

But you said "he wouldn't pay for college" as though that is another thing that makes him horrible.  Did he pay for college?  And could he possibly have paid for college if you had "cut off all ties" with him?[/quote]

It's really not your business.  You seem WAY overly personally invested in this, tbh.  Are your kids not speaking to you or something?  And from your hostile tone, you're not exactly someone I would want to open up to.  Thanks but no thanks. [/quote]

I'm not sure what makes me seem personally invested and I certainly did not mean to have a hostile tone.  (I have to point out that you called me an imbecile for asking a couple clarifying questions and saying that I did not see you being "forced" into anything.)  I am curious by the situation you set out and truly wondering about the sequence of the not paying/paying for college.  I'm also curious about other details that make you dislike him so much.  From what you describe he admits that he has lied, and he doesn't like to spend money, and that he doesn't consider other people's opinions.  He also has trouble maintaining relationships.  You have an awful lot of extremely negative feelings and I am wondering if there is more to it.

As to it "not being my business" and me not being "someone you would want to open up to," I'm not sure how to respond to that.  Those are weird concepts to even bring up on an anonymous message board, when you shared that much already with the entire internet-viewing public.[/quote]

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