Husband Neglectful In Front Of Children. Advice?

[Anonymous]

Kids too close in age, that's the problem.
I don't know why anyone would PLAN this.

[Anonymous]

OP is a moron having 2 kids so close in age while in therapy. You get what you get when you make dumb choices in life. Wait till #2 arrives, then DH's true colors will come out! Forgotten birthdays will be the *least* of OP's problems.

Get thee to counseling stat. This marriage (are you even married?) is on a downward spiral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have tried counseling before without success. In fact, DH didn't like what the therapist was saying and stormed out, saying he would never return to another session. And he hasn't.

I don't know who else I can speak to outside of this anonymous forum. If I try to discuss with anyone in family, friends, etc., DH gets furious bc it reflects negatively.

Oh, and in addition to bearing two of his children, I also work full time and am a primary income provider.

Do you think it's worth trying counseling again?

And, yes, #1 and #2 were both planned. We had to have medical interventions due to some physical issues.

If he's not providing emotional OR financial support, LEAVE. He sounds like he is mean and worthless.

[Anonymous]

You say the second was planned but was it his idea or yours to have them so close together? My SIL wanted a second child much more than her husband did. They were already under financial strain after the first was born and buying a house. He was an introvert and having all the social obligations on top of increased financial pressure made him very resentful. He felt that she called all the shots. Their marriage collapsed when the second was two. You should go to counseling for support, even if your husband refuses to go with you.

[Anonymous]

So on what day did you decide it would be a good idea to have a second child with someone who storms out of therapy and is immature?

[Anonymous]

I think both parties are culpable here. It sounds like OPs husband is overwhelmed and probably feels resentful for reasons OP doesn't understand. Therapy will definitely help with communication, but both parties need to work together. OP - this doesn't sound like a isolated incident, but probably has been building up. You're hormonal and pregnant. You probably haven't been your usual self yet either. And I agree that it probably wasn't too prudent to have another baby with a man who is this volatile and has anger issues (storms out of therapy and won't go back ... How babyish!).

Agree that you need to get back to counseling. Having a second baby when your first is still so young will make things doubly stressful. Whether DH wanted the second baby or not doesn't matter because baby is in the picture now.

OP, you and your DH need to sit down for weekly therapy and really commit to getting through this. If not, then wait until your maternity leave is up or your kids are in school and leave. I would work on a long term exit plan if he cannot even commit to counseling.