How to handle a GYN exam in this situation?
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Anonymous
Add me to the chorus of recommending midwives. I love the MCA/rockville group, and now see them for GYN care after the birth of my child. At the very least, I would seek out a female practitioner. I remember my first pelvic exam/PAP smear. I was 18, it was our family's male GP. It did not hurt, but I was very uncomfortable. I started seeing a woman doctor in the practice after that, and I was much, much, much more comfortable with her. |
Anonymous
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Don't lie be completely honest. Tell the dr your fears. I was a virgin until age 25 and I remember being embarrass too but I didn't lie. No strange looks from the dr actually I don't think they asked I think the questionnaire I filled out asked. But pretty sure they might use a different size speculum so I wouldn't lie.
Your one of many that they see and to them it's a job. |
Anonymous
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I WANT to say that GYNs "see everything" but I was a virgin til mid-20s (not for religious regions- although I think that would be more respected, I'm guessing) and I did get attitude. I'm about as liberal as it gets, and it floors me, this disrespect for women's choices.
Like the idea of midwives. I use GW now and I think they'd be great (and if you are prepared to wait, they will actually treat you like a human being and take extra time with you). |
Anonymous
You have got to be kidding- right? |
Anonymous
| Also be aware that some gynocologists put there figure in your butt without any warning at that. Doesn't hurt but man it's awkward. |
Anonymous
I had a similar experience at age 30. The doctor said "hey, good for you" in a weird voice. Like "I support your strange choices, oddball." I was sort of annoyed. Hopefully, OP, you can use of the recommendations and have no problems. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I have a friend who is a virgin and instead of doing an internal examination she gets some kind of imaging (I want to say it's an ultrasound, I think) instead. |
Anonymous
Oh, and she made clear to the doctor that she did not was to be penetrated. |
Anonymous
As these posters show, there ARE judgmental gyns out there. The reality is that 2014 in the U.S., you will get more judgment for being a virgin (for any reason) than for having 3 different baby daddies. It's just a commentary on where are culture is now. I mean a friend told me a story just recently about how she went for a GYN exam around age 23-24, was asked re BC and said she didn't need any because she and her boyfriend had just broken up and she was not in a relationship and not wanting to be sexually active right then; the GYN actually said -- while standing out in the hallway -- oh this is your opportunity to sleep with as many guys as possible before you settle down with one and handed her a BC script. The point is -- you cannot assume that every GYN will be supportive of conservative life choices as much as they are about the more common choices these days. But OP -- as the posters above have said there ARE good options out there of doctors who will be respectful and will not care to mock or say something passive aggressive. I agree -- go with a woman, at least for your first time AND don't go to anyone unless you have a recommendation and/or a review that indicates that bedside manner and your comfort is REALLY important to them. While there are exceptions, if you randomly pick someone from a huge healthcare corp like Kaiser or Georgetown or whatever, you are much more likely to get some jackass who will make you feel bad about your choices and/or not believe you and just want you in and out the door in 15 min -- which matters for GYN because you want someone to be as gentle as possible your first time, not someone who just grabs any size speculum that's handy and says -- yeah you're a virgin, uh-huh. Honestly you sound informed and realistic enough that you'll be fine no matter who the provider is. A tip -- most first timers try to hold their breath or tense as much as possible, and that just makes everything take longer. You'll probably do it anyway and they'll remind you not to, however if between exams -- like btwn the speculum and bimanual or before/after the breast exam -- you feel like you just need a min to breathe, it's fine to say that you want a quick break. |
Anonymous
I was going to mention this also. Always takes me by surprise. They do it right after they remove the speculum. |
Anonymous
I call troll. This has never happened to me and I have no idea why a GYN would do this. Seems very bizarre to me. |
Anonymous
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A good OBGYN will always do a rectal exam. They wear a glove, lubricate it, and stick it in your rectum while telling you to relax. It is a way to check for fissures, polyps and any other abnormalities. I even had it done this year (and I figured I'd get out of it because I had a colonoscopy).
Not all practices do the rectal exam, but it is considered part of a full GYN exam -- just as a breast exam. For me, it's the sign of a thorough doctor. |
Anonymous
| I was going to also recommend Tepeyac. I see Dr. Fisk (man) but have seen all of the others too. And for the record, I was not a virgin and never felt judged. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Then you get an incomplete exam. Not only does my doctor do a rectal exam, she uses the opportunity to get a tiny stool sample and uses an instant chemical test to check for blood in the stool. Not making this up. Not a troll. |
Anonymous
| NP here. I was a virgin til I was 30 & got some looks from various gyns over the years. I found that it was much more useful to say "I've never had intercourse" rather than saying "not sexually active" (which for some reason tended to bring questions to determine whether I was telling the truth). |