Calling a fatherless boy "son"

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:13:43 again -- It's worth noting that in some communities, calling someone "son" is equivalent to patronizing them. (There's actually an urban dictionary entry on "sonning" someone.)


I am not sure what communities you are referring to, but to me calling someone "son" is indeed patronizing. And ignoring someone's request to use his first name just proves that that's what this teacher is doing.

I also agree with your previous post about getting OP's son help to become more resilient to disrespectful behavior such as this, and specifically to learn to cope with the absence of his father.
Anonymous
Hmmmm, perhaps the child simply doesn't like someone calling him something he's not. Reminds me of the nickname post a while back.

Frankly I think the teach is an idiot at best and a potential pedophile at worst.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote: and a potential pedophile at worst.

You are crazy.
Anonymous
I guess I am the only one wondering if the teacher does it because he knows it annoys the kid. Not all teachers are the greatest...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I guess I am the only one wondering if the teacher does it because he knows it annoys the kid. Not all teachers are the greatest...


I was thinking that he might do it in a pinch whenever a kids first name doesn't come to mind, if he's busy.etc.


But I tend to assume the good in people before the bad.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Are you implying that someone can only be a "son" if they have a father? I'm a woman and I call my DS, son. I don't get the issue here.


Are you serious, you really don't get it? Learn some empathy.
Anonymous
It is a sign of real disrespect to address someone in a way that they have asked you NOT to and that clearly makes them uncomfortable. I believe in according children the same respect as I do adults whenever possible. OP--your son has a right to feel disrespected by this teacher, who clearly is not interested in honoring your son's very simple request. Also, it shows no class and certainly no social skills whatsoever on the part of a teacher. That said, OP, how old is your son? If he is a teenager, I would not intervene. Despite this teacher's either cluelessness or deliberate maliciousness, your son needs to learn he cannot control others' behavior most of the time, only the way he reacts to him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm pp, but the words I think your son should say are: Stop saying that. I am not your son.

I think the teacher would stop when put like that.



Like a bratty kid saying to the coach "I'm not your BUDDY!?"

Bad advice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I guess I am the only one wondering if the teacher does it because he knows it annoys the kid. Not all teachers are the greatest...

All the more reason for the kid to learn how to deal with it.
Anonymous
Op, I agree it may be cultural. Some use it generically like others use sweetie, honey, etc. it may just be automatic for him. I would kindly email the teacher saying how much your son loves his class and how much he is learning, but he is getting upset over the use of the word son and is very sensitive to it given his father is not involved.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you implying that someone can only be a "son" if they have a father? I'm a woman and I call my DS, son. I don't get the issue here.


Are you serious, you really don't get it? Learn some empathy.


I get being upset if someone calls you something you don't like. I get it. The part I don't get is it being specifically related to being "Fatherless" as OP put it.
Anonymous
Your son need therapy ASAP.
Anonymous
OP I'll go against the advice here and tell you this teacher is a jerk and is doing it to annoy your child.
And there's nothing wrong with him getting mad and wanting to punch a bully in the face.
Go in person and talk to the teacher. Tell him your son doesn't like being called son and ask him to stop immediately calling him that.
Anonymous
18:32 here and I'm a teacher btw.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is the teacher using that phrase with all the boys? Or just your son?


I asked the same question. He says just him.


Seems like he's grooming him. This would worry me a lot.
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