Best online dating for a shy 33 y.o. F who needs to take things slow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you have to find someone who can be exceptionally understanding. I'm a nice guy, but I'd never deal with that. She is, unfortunately, immature on every level. Not her fault, but I would not want to walk a 30+ year old woman through all the sexual things I want and deal with every step along the way ("you want to put what WHERE?").

You need to find a guy on her level, if at all possible.

She's not a child! Just shy. She's adult living in the 21st century. She knows about sex. Not first hand but I know that she watches R rated movies, even Game of Thrones, and reads contemporary fiction.

Besides, wouldn't you both have to walk each other through the things you'd want or is it all about YOU in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Church singles group.

She's not religious at all. I don't think she's been to church since she was a teen and our grandmother died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she wants you to set up her dating life? Unless she asks for help, I'd respect her ability as an adult to decide what she wants.

BTW, the fact that she was a caretaker for a few years really should not have prevented her from having relationships. If she really wanted one, she would have found a way.

She has chosen this route for some reason. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it. But, to just say she is shy is a bit simplistic.

I 2nd the notion. Pretty presumptuous to suppose a grown woman - an intelligent caring woman of high character - is too incompetent to handle her own love life. And even if she was what makes you think you're the right person to take over for her? Hell what makes you think she even wants your help? Maybe you should mind your business.

Over the past year, her sister and I have talked with my cousin multiple times about her future plans, not just about her love life, when my aunt passes away. She said that she wants a small dog, would enjoy a Caribbean vacation, and to meet a nice guy. She herself said she has not dated much because of being shy and not wanting to leave her mother alone in the evenings.

I don't want to take over finding a life mate for her, I just want to give her an appropriate tool to meet nice men. She can use it or not use it.

She's been a caretaker more than just a few years. More like 20+ years. Her sister joined the military at 18 and only recently moved back to this area. So the 33 year old was caring for their mom in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

So you're saying she's like a sheltered Amish woman...doesn't own a laptop or a personal computer or even a cell phone, no idea what the internet even is and this totally clueless about online dating services. You're saying she couldn't even so much as pull up a website by herself much less fill out a profile on her own. Wow...yeah she desperately needs your help.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds well meaning. Be nice

[Anonymous]

Single guy here who has limited sexual experience. There are many others like me who like the sheltered unexperienced women because they are less threatening. A guy like myself doesn't want to be with a normal woman who had had 12 partners. How am I going to compete with that in the sack? I can't. At least not right away.

If she does do online dating, have her explicitly put in the profile that she likes taking things slow. This will turn off the more aggressive guys and attract the nice guys who are a better fit for her.

[Anonymous]

Good tip.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, there are plenty of shy men out there with limited experience. They would almost certainly be patient with her because they fear being judged themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're saying she's like a sheltered Amish woman...doesn't own a laptop or a personal computer or even a cell phone, no idea what the internet even is and this totally clueless about online dating services. You're saying she couldn't even so much as pull up a website by herself much less fill out a profile on her own. Wow...yeah she desperately needs your help.

Of course not. She works for a law firm! I've helped more experienced friends jump back into dating by proofreading a Match profile and picking out good photos. I don't think that's so unusual to help out a friend that way. When I did OkCupid, a friend volunteered to style my hair for my main profile photo.

I'm sure my cousin could set something up on plentyoffish or tinder and get overwhelmed by horndogs in 5 minutes.

This is my baby cousin. I think she is going to be at loose ends when her mom passes away. And I feel a little guilt for not helping her out with my aunt when she was college age and could have moved things along more naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single guy here who has limited sexual experience. There are many others like me who like the sheltered unexperienced women because they are less threatening. A guy like myself doesn't want to be with a normal woman who had had 12 partners. How am I going to compete with that in the sack? I can't. At least not right away.

If she does do online dating, have her explicitly put in the profile that she likes taking things slow. This will turn off the more aggressive guys and attract the nice guys who are a better fit for her.

Thank you so much!