Needing guy friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys don't have female friends.

I'm a guy; this is generally true. I have three female friends, but they are all lesbians...out and married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn how to make friends with women. Why do you prefer male friends?

Don't listen to this. You are allowed to prefer male friends. I do. I was a little sister in a frat rather than join a sorority.

Reading this site has confirmed my preference for male friends. What a bunch of not nice people. Makes for good reading though!

I think its weird when women say they can't make women friends. The only piece of dating advice I have ever given a man is don't date a woman who can't make good/real women friends and claims to like men as friends better. Its usually those women that bring all the dram and jealousy. There is a reason women don't want to hang with her! Yuck on little sisters. Much better to be part of a woman first organization than a hanger on in the boys club. I highly value and respect my women friends. But I try to show that to them.

Wow. You just summed up the attitude I'm talking about. Judgemental much?

I'm PP. My roommate from college..who is female amd still my friend20 odd years later..used to come home in tears after sorority meetings because of the bitch factor. They were mean girls to a T.

I would play beer pong and watch football with the guys. She speaks to almost none of her "sisters." While DH and I just had two of my brothers over with their wives the other day and had a lovely meal. Another one of my brothers is godfather to my DS.

I have female friends...but I'm super selective. No mean girl BS will be tolerated.

Wow, your bar is so high. Relationships and friendships based on beer pong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call it intuition but I got a feeling OP is somewhere between average and ugly so seriously doubt there'd be any worries from her husband about somebody stealing her away.

Once again another example of why I don't go out of my way to make female friends.

I'd rather have beer pong buddies than catty back-stabbing frenemies. And obviously those friendships with my frat brothers evolved from college...did you read the part about my sons godfather?

Off the top of my head I can think of four women who have been deliberately mean and hateful to me. One guy has done so...and he was the only one to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call it intuition but I got a feeling OP is somewhere between average and ugly so seriously doubt there'd be any worries from her husband about somebody stealing her away.

Once again another example of why I don't go out of my way to make female friends.

I'd rather have beer pong buddies than catty back-stabbing frenemies. And obviously those friendships with my frat brothers evolved from college...did you read the part about my sons godfather?

Off the top of my head I can think of four women who have been deliberately mean and hateful to me. One guy has done so...and he was the only one to apologize.

But you admitted that when you get into a fight, you're not so nice, and that you're probably the problem. So don't blame "frenimies" and cattiness on what are, by your own admission, simply consequences to your own bad behavior. So you are looking to set your bar lower, so that you can meet those standards.

That's not being mean to say that. That's pointing out what you yourself are saying. Most women want more than that and expect their friends to not say "not nice" things when they fight. Why do you want that for yourself but aren't willing to give it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call it intuition but I got a feeling OP is somewhere between average and ugly so seriously doubt there'd be any worries from her husband about somebody stealing her away.

Once again another example of why I don't go out of my way to make female friends.

I'd rather have beer pong buddies than catty back-stabbing frenemies. And obviously those friendships with my frat brothers evolved from college...did you read the part about my sons godfather?

Off the top of my head I can think of four women who have been deliberately mean and hateful to me. One guy has done so...and he was the only one to apologize.

But you admitted that when you get into a fight, you're not so nice, and that you're probably the problem. So don't blame "frenimies" and cattiness on what are, by your own admission, simply consequences to your own bad behavior. So you are looking to set your bar lower, so that you can meet those standards.

That's not being mean to say that. That's pointing out what you yourself are saying. Most women want more than that and expect their friends to not say "not nice" things when they fight. Why do you want that for yourself but aren't willing to give it?

Um I'm not OP I'm PP who was a frat little sister. If any thing I'm too nice and some people see that as a weakness to exploit. So they put me down to make themselves feel better. Again this is mostly women. When people say mean things to me IRL I freeze up or burst into tears...and they "win" in their eyes.

[Anonymous]

And how on earth is calling someone ugly for no reason anything other than catty?

[Anonymous]

Where do you live, OP? I'm also 28, married 5 years and prefer hanging out with men but actively avoid new friendships with them. My husband is the least jealous guy on the planet but I guess I have an old fashioned sense of propriety. I find that hanging out with my husbands friends and with gay men is non-threatening and sufficient. Perhaps I'm overly cautious because I'm above average attractiveness for this area and don't want my attentions misconstrued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call it intuition but I got a feeling OP is somewhere between average and ugly so seriously doubt there'd be any worries from her husband about somebody stealing her away.

Once again another example of why I don't go out of my way to make female friends.

I'd rather have beer pong buddies than catty back-stabbing frenemies. And obviously those friendships with my frat brothers evolved from college...did you read the part about my sons godfather?

Off the top of my head I can think of four women who have been deliberately mean and hateful to me. One guy has done so...and he was the only one to apologize.

OP here. I totally agree with this. I have never had a problem with my guy friends, but always with female friends, except for two. It wouldn't be a problem, but I moved here a year ago and haven't met many guys.

[Anonymous]

I'm 13:14, not 11:52 (never called anyone ugly). OP, my mistake on directing my comments to the PP and not you. Those comments are for you. Work on yourself and perhaps good friendships will follow.

[Anonymous]

So OP you haven't had any guy friends since you were married 5 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn how to make friends with women. Why do you prefer male friends?

Don't listen to this. You are allowed to prefer male friends. I do. I was a little sister in a frat rather than join a sorority.

Reading this site has confirmed my preference for male friends. What a bunch of not nice people. Makes for good reading though!

I think its weird when women say they can't make women friends. The only piece of dating advice I have ever given a man is don't date a woman who can't make good/real women friends and claims to like men as friends better. Its usually those women that bring all the dram and jealousy. There is a reason women don't want to hang with her! Yuck on little sisters. Much better to be part of a woman first organization than a hanger on in the boys club. I highly value and respect my women friends. But I try to show that to them.

+1 to the bolded part. I've also ran from dating any woman who said the dreaded "I get along better with guys than girls." There's just something about someone that can't play the game and get along that invites problems down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call it intuition but I got a feeling OP is somewhere between average and ugly so seriously doubt there'd be any worries from her husband about somebody stealing her away.

Once again another example of why I don't go out of my way to make female friends.

I'd rather have beer pong buddies than catty back-stabbing frenemies. And obviously those friendships with my frat brothers evolved from college...did you read the part about my sons godfather?

Off the top of my head I can think of four women who have been deliberately mean and hateful to me. One guy has done so...and he was the only one to apologize.

But you admitted that when you get into a fight, you're not so nice, and that you're probably the problem. So don't blame "frenimies" and cattiness on what are, by your own admission, simply consequences to your own bad behavior. So you are looking to set your bar lower, so that you can meet those standards.

That's not being mean to say that. That's pointing out what you yourself are saying. Most women want more than that and expect their friends to not say "not nice" things when they fight. Why do you want that for yourself but aren't willing to give it?

Um I'm not OP I'm PP who was a frat little sister. If any thing I'm too nice and some people see that as a weakness to exploit. So they put me down to make themselves feel better. Again this is mostly women. When people say mean things to me IRL I freeze up or burst into tears...and they "win" in their eyes.

And you sound a little too caught up in that "cool girl who can hang out with the boys" kind. But if it works for you and elevates your self-esteem, all the power to you.

[Anonymous]

Why would you NOT look at yourself if you can't get along with half of the world's population? This a character flaw on your end OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you NOT look at yourself if you can't get along with half of the world's population? This a character flaw on your end OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 13:14, not 11:52 (never called anyone ugly). OP, my mistake on directing my comments to the PP and not you. Those comments are for you. Work on yourself and perhaps good friendships will follow.

OP here. Thank you for clarifying this. I am actually trying to work on me. I would love to be able to keep more female friends, but something about how I handle certain situations is not right. On another post here someone mentioned Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - I am looking into this. In my experience to me it seems easier to be friends with men then women. I know that it is me and not the other women.

I have a few great guys friends from before I was married. I meet most of them where I used to work. Since moving here I haven't meet any male friends. I'm a SAHM now. Every time I loose a female friend here I miss my guy friends from back home more. My husband knew I had a lot of guy friends at home, he was ok with it then. He has quite a few female friends himself.