Needing guy friends
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Anonymous
| I get along with men better then I do with women, but I feel like its harder to make new guy friends when you are married unless you are working with them. If you do make them you are only allowed to talk to them at work. Is this true? How do you meet them and stay in touch without it sending the wrong message? I'm 28 and have been married for 5 years. |
Anonymous
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I'm like you, I also get along better with men than women. However, instead of making new guy friends, I have stayed in touch with my pre-marriage friends. I've found that most men (not my wonderful husband) make assumptions about your intentions, so it's very hard to make new friends.
Perhaps start with your husband's friends. You may have to befriend their spouse or significant other, but if they are like-minded people it shouldn't be a problem. |
Anonymous
| Learn how to make friends with women. Why do you prefer male friends? |
Anonymous
Don't listen to this. You are allowed to prefer male friends. I do. I was a little sister in a frat rather than join a sorority. Reading this site has confirmed my preference for male friends. What a bunch of not nice people. Makes for good reading though! |
Anonymous
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There is nothing wrong with having guys as friends but their wives or g/f might be wary of you. You just have to make sure nothing you say or do can be construed as flirting, or it will seem as though you are on the hunt.
I honestly don't have much time for a social life now, but I am friends with a married man (more so than his wife), and my husband is friends with him too. We all used to work together. I spend most of my time with DH and the kids and my hobbies. I know I should be more social, but I just can't seem to carve out the time. My goal is to try this summer. |
Anonymous
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It may be tougher because most men do not want the drama of a husband getting pissed off and going after them for talking to their wives.
For them, it's best to just stay out of drama. |
Anonymous
| Couples friends? |
Anonymous
| Guys don't have female friends. |
Anonymous
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Ha. I'm the opposite. I'm a guy who clicks more often with women than with men. Mostly my women friends are from work (probably more accurate to say they are women I'm friendly with & occasionally have lunch than true friends), couples friends (we have a few where both my wife and I are better friends with the wife than with the husband) and college (closer friends who I stay in touch with by email and occasionally see in person).
I think it's best to just discover who you click with than to try to pursue friendships with members of the opposite sex, because the latter will seem like flirting or looking to cheat. Thankfully, my wife and I are both very secure in our relationship, so she's not threatened by lunches with women from work or going to a show with a woman friend from college. The reverse is true if a guy friend from college or former colleague gets in touch with her. Of course one or two of those over the years was actually someone looking to make a relationship happen that didn't happen the first time around. 
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Anonymous
OP here. I find that I am not sensitive enough for women. That I will become good friends with a lot of great women, then I say something that they get easily hurt by. If we do get into a fight I am not so nice. Yes, after years and years of losing friends I realize that I am probably the problem. I have tried and tried to figure out how to be a better friend with women but can not seem to get the hang of it. The male friends I have seem not to take everything to heart. They also seem to get my sense of humor more. I did not have good role models are far as watching my parents having friends. Now that I'm married it seems hard to make guy friends. If I meet a guy friend now and ask if he wants to hang out as friends it seems awkward. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Let yourself go and you'll have lots of guys who're happy with just being friends. |
Anonymous
| Join a sport. You'll need an activity to meet guys through. Meeting guys without any other reason is called dating. |
Anonymous
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I can relate to 8:47. I'm a female with plenty of friends of both sexes. Sometimes female friendships can come with drama and sensitivity. It's easier to tick someone off inadvertently or end up competing or dealing with jealousy. Male friendships generally don't have that stuff. Plus there's something valuable about seeing more sides of an issue.
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