If you are one who does NOT want to create a sense of superiority in your AAP accepted child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is b.s. to say that these kids 'think differently.' I honestly don't think they do, including my own kid who will be in AAP next year.

Well, you don't know many AAP kids, especially some of the really high intelligence kids in the program.

Just because your kid does not think outside of the box does not mean that no other kids do.[/[u]quote]

The typical response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is b.s. to say that these kids 'think differently.' I honestly don't think they do, including my own kid who will be in AAP next year.

Well, you don't know many AAP kids, especially some of the really high intelligence kids in the program.

Just because your kid does not think outside of the box does not mean that no other kids do.[/[u]quote]

The typical response.

So true. Every time on these boards someone disagrees with someone touting her kid's brilliance, we hear: "just because your kid isn't like my kid..."

Sorry, I don't feel the need to pat myself on the back or to passively aggressively dis another person's kid. Guess you do.

[Anonymous]

There's no reason to flaunt and talk about what you are good at, but children shouldn't have to completely hide their talents. Do we want to go back to the days where GT kids felt awkward all through school being labeled as nerds or worse, don't end up using their intelligence in school or life? I can tell which people I meet in life are smart. And luckily most of them are humble as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no reason to flaunt and talk about what you are good at, but children shouldn't have to completely hide their talents. Do we want to go back to the days where GT kids felt awkward all through school being labeled as nerds or worse, don't end up using their intelligence in school or life? I can tell which people I meet in life are smart. And luckily most of them are humble as well.

Talk about pigeon holing someone. GT kids weren't labeled as nerds as a whole. Nerds were labeled as nerds. (Think: Revenge of the Nerds). A cool kid was cool regardless of his intelligence.

[Anonymous]

At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class. We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more. If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that. Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest. There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something. Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). I think it gives them confidence as well. However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily." It gives DC confidence to try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class. We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more. If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that. Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest. There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something. Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). [b]I think it gives them confidence as well. However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily." It gives DC confidence to try.

So don't tell a child who really isn't smart that he is smart? I think it is so unwise to be telling kids they are into this program because they are smart, learn differently, learn faster, etc. Makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class. We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more. If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that. Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest. There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something. Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). [b]I think it gives them confidence as well. However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily." It gives DC confidence to try.

So don't tell a child who really isn't smart that he is smart? I think it is so unwise to be telling kids they are into this program because they are smart, learn differently, learn faster, etc. Makes no sense to me.

What you would say to a child accepted into the program who asks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class. We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more. If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that. Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest. There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something. Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). I think it gives them confidence as well. However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily." It gives DC confidence to try.

This, all of it. Why are people so hesitant to tell their smart kid that they are smart? Not the smartest kid in the class or smartest kid that every walked the earth but that they are smart, make smart choices regarding how they approach their school work, etc. It does build confidence. Would it be so frowned upon if a parent told a struggling that they are smart to boost confidence in trying harder? If a child called your kid dumb would you not say "no, you are smart"? I feel it's my job as a parent to groom a well-rounded child who is caring, considerate, humble, hard worker, etc. but I'm not going to minimize talents or accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

What would you say ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my dd that some kids who think differently learn better in an AAP classroom. I made no mention of better, smarter, faster, or gifted. However, it only took a few months there before she had adopted the lingo and was talking about being with the "smart kids."

And herein lies the problem. It needs to be reinforced to these kids - and clearly their parents too - that AAP students are not the only "smart" kids. I think it's far too easy to forget just how very many Gen Ed kids almost got into AAP, had similar test scores, etc. The cutoff is so arbitrary that it creates a false sense of just who is capable of what. If the minimum threshold for admittance were much higher, then it would be clear that only those kids who are actually gifted and might need specialized classes are receiving these services. The way the system is run right now, it's more like half the population are Star-Belly Sneeches and half are Plain-Belly. But in most cases, they are completely interchangeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is b.s. to say that these kids 'think differently.' I honestly don't think they do, including my own kid who will be in AAP next year.

DC who is in AAP definitely thinks differently. Sibling is more mainstream (said lovingly ) and is not in AAP.

^ to add, we also told DC1 that AAP wasn't about smart, but those who think differently, work more quickly and do better with different challenges.

"Work more quickly" - not sure that's true. Think differently? Not sure that's true for the most part. I have to say that nearly all of these responses are precisely what I don't want to tell my child nor do I want my kid hearing something like this from your kid.

Oh brother. I can see there is no way to acknowledge that out of the 2,000+ kids who apply to the MCPS HGC, the fact that 50 kids got in means nothing about them is special. Otherwise it's bragging, even if it's handled delicately.

My kid is super smart and does really well in school. That's why he was picked for the HGC. Deconstruct that all you want.

Sounds like Montgomery Co. is doing it right by only selecting a very few, actually gifted kids. FCPS could take a lesson from them since they've obviously concluded that accepting masses of pretty average kids is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no reason to flaunt and talk about what you are good at, but children shouldn't have to completely hide their talents. Do we want to go back to the days where GT kids felt awkward all through school being labeled as nerds or worse, don't end up using their intelligence in school or life? I can tell which people I meet in life are smart. And luckily most of them are humble as well.

Talk about pigeon holing someone. GT kids weren't labeled as nerds as a whole. Nerds were labeled as nerds. (Think: Revenge of the Nerds). A cool kid was cool regardless of his intelligence.

That was not my experience with school growing up; it was uncool to be smart. But i was a girl. Anyway, that is the number one reason i was happy my DS got into the HGC -- so he would never be taught to be "too cool for school." I'm happy he is someplace where being academically gifted (though not highly intelligent or able to think outside the box ) is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class. We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more. If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that. Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest. There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something. Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). [b]I think it gives them confidence as well. However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily." It gives DC confidence to try.

So don't tell a child who really isn't smart that he is smart? I think it is so unwise to be telling kids they are into this program because they are smart, learn differently, learn faster, etc. Makes no sense to me.

So, uh, why are they accepted into the program then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my dd that some kids who think differently learn better in an AAP classroom. I made no mention of better, smarter, faster, or gifted. However, it only took a few months there before she had adopted the lingo and was talking about being with the "smart kids."

And herein lies the problem. It needs to be reinforced to these kids - and clearly their parents too - that AAP students are not the only "smart" kids. I think it's far too easy to forget just how very many Gen Ed kids almost got into AAP, had similar test scores, etc. The cutoff is so arbitrary that it creates a false sense of just who is capable of what. If the minimum threshold for admittance were much higher, then it would be clear that only those kids who are actually gifted and might need specialized classes are receiving these services. The way the system is run right now, it's more like half the population are Star-Belly Sneeches and half are Plain-Belly. But in most cases, they are completely interchangeable.

At my DC's HGC over 2000 kids applied. 54 got in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my dd that some kids who think differently learn better in an AAP classroom. I made no mention of better, smarter, faster, or gifted. However, it only took a few months there before she had adopted the lingo and was talking about being with the "smart kids."

And herein lies the problem. It needs to be reinforced to these kids - and clearly their parents too - that AAP students are not the only "smart" kids. I think it's far too easy to forget just how very many Gen Ed kids almost got into AAP, had similar test scores, etc. The cutoff is so arbitrary that it creates a false sense of just who is capable of what. If the minimum threshold for admittance were much higher, then it would be clear that only those kids who are actually gifted and might need specialized classes are receiving these services. The way the system is run right now, it's more like half the population are Star-Belly Sneeches and half are Plain-Belly. But in most cases, they are completely interchangeable.

In some ways this is true..that other smart kids didn't get in. I'm PP who told my DC that DC was smart, but don't think you're smarter than everyone else. I told DC that it's not just about grades or how well DC did on the test. The teacher has to recommend for a child to go into GT because teacher feels GT will be better for the child. So, even if another child didn't get in, doesn't mean the child is not smart..just maybe not meant for GT. Also told my DC that just cause DC is in GT now, don't think getting into a program like this in MS or HS is guaranteed.

Balance.