Reply to If you are one who does NOT want to create a sense of superiority in your AAP accepted child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At this age (3rd grade), kids know who are the smart ones in class.  We told DC who got into GT program that DC was smart, but we told this to DC because DC refused to go to GT, and we said DC needed to be challenged more.  If I just said DC learned differently, DC would not buy that.  Anyway, DC went to Open House and thought GT program would be great, so DC agreed to go.

However, we told DC don't think you are the smartest or smarter than most people because you will find in GT you are probably not going to be the smartest.  There will always be someone smarter or better than you at something.  Also, don't talk about getting into GT at school unless other kids want to talk to you about it.

I think letting your kids know that you think they are smart is not a bad thing (if they are really smart). I think it gives them confidence as well.  However, if you say "you are the best or the smartest", then you have a problem.

when my DC struggles with something, I say to DC "you can do it, think, try, you are smart. If you can't figure it out, ask for help. But don't give up so easily."  It gives DC confidence to try.[/quote]

This, all of it.  Why are people so hesitant to tell their smart kid that they are smart?  Not the smartest kid in the class or smartest kid that every walked the earth but that they are smart, make smart choices regarding how they approach their school work, etc.  It does build confidence.  Would it be so frowned upon if a parent told a struggling that they are smart to boost confidence in trying harder?  If a child called your kid dumb would you not say "no, you are smart"?  I feel it's my job as a parent to groom a well-rounded child who is caring, considerate, humble, hard worker, etc. but I'm not going to minimize talents or accomplishments.  [/quote]

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