If you are one who does NOT want to create a sense of superiority in your AAP accepted child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my dd that some kids who think differently learn better in an AAP classroom. I made no mention of better, smarter, faster, or gifted. However, it only took a few months there before she had adopted the lingo and was talking about being with the "smart kids."

And herein lies the problem. It needs to be reinforced to these kids - and clearly their parents too - that AAP students are not the only "smart" kids. I think it's far too easy to forget just how very many Gen Ed kids almost got into AAP, had similar test scores, etc. The cutoff is so arbitrary that it creates a false sense of just who is capable of what. If the minimum threshold for admittance were much higher, then it would be clear that only those kids who are actually gifted and might need specialized classes are receiving these services. The way the system is run right now, it's more like half the population are Star-Belly Sneeches and half are Plain-Belly. But in most cases, they are completely interchangeable.

At my DC's HGC over 2000 kids applied. 54 got in.

But this forum is addressing AAP within FCPS. I was the PP who commented that obviously MoCo schools are doing it right, by selecting only the few actually gifted kids for their program. AAP, on the other hand, accepts far too many kids to make it meait saningful at all.

Well, on the forum description is says, "Advanced Academic Programs (AAP) Primarily for discussion of Fairfax County's Advanced Academic Programs, but open for discussion of AAP and similar programs elsewhere as well."

But anyway, I don't think i'll be back. This thread is stupid beyond belief. I can't fathom the contortions some posters are going through to avoid the obvious -- that if anyone is better than your child in any arena, there must be some kind of mistake. Some people are smarter than others. Some people are more attractive than others. Some people are more athletic than others. Etc. This is life, no matter how much you pretend it's all a matter of choosing the right words to keep that reality at bay. How are your kids going to be prepared for life when you are no longer around to hand-feed them their perceptions of themselves in relation to others?

PP again. Sorry, I now see why the two programs would create two completely different perceptions of why some kids get in and some do not. My apologies. Maybe we need a MC HGC forum.

I can see how in MC, it would be easy to explain to the kids who don't get into HGC. You would just say, "There is a very small % of kids who are truly academically advanced (or gifted, in that case) and who learn so fast that they really need to be in a separate class/school." There, the vast majority of kids aren't in the gifted program, so it's no big deal and everyone understands why a few kids are. Here in FCPS, however, the AAP system has turned what should be "regular" or community schools into ones in which almost half the 3rd-6th grade population is placed in separate classes, creating this artificial hierarchy. The message this sends to the Gen. Ed. community is pretty unfortunate.

Ah! I am PP that stated I told my DC that DC is smart to get into GT. We are in MoCo. Sorry, I should not have posted in this thread since I had no idea about how AAP worked. My bad.

No worries! Aren't you glad you don't have to deal with the absurdity we have here in FCPS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

And how did you explain the small group pull outs to your child?

Why would I need to explain it? What about it requires an explanation?

If your child doesn't question it then I suppose there is no reason to explain.

[Anonymous]

My DS just got in and he already knows what it is...I think you can downplay it all you want but as another poster noted, it is called the "advanced" program - they will figure it out. We go downplay it in our house because I have a younger child who is bright but probably won't be in AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS just got in and he already knows what it is...I think you can downplay it all you want but as another poster noted, it is called the "advanced" program - they will figure it out. We go downplay it in our house because I have a younger child who is bright but probably won't be in AAP.

But for the littler one you wouldn't downplay it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

Not the PP, but surely you can understand his/her sentiment. All over this forum you see parents crowing over how much "smarter" their AAP kids are. Most rational, sane people understand this isn't true, but it gets pretty old having to read those ignorant comments over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids. My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived. The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her. I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear. My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.

There are plenty of smart kids not in AAP. That doesn't change the fact that AAP is for smart kids / kids who are naturally talented at academics / kids who test well / kids who are interested in the program / etc.

Just like there are plenty of good lacrosse players not on the "good lacrosse players" team. The kids on the "good lacrosse players" team are still good, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

Not the PP, but surely you can understand his/her sentiment. All over this forum you see parents crowing over how much "smarter" their AAP kids are. Most rational, sane people understand this isn't true, but it gets pretty old having to read those ignorant comments over and over.

I understand that. But I don't think the answer is to pretend to your child that they aren't academically talented or whatever reason(s) they got into AAP. I think it's important to teach children they have areas of strength and weakness. They shouldn't be ashamed of their areas of weakness, and they shouldn't think they're a superior person for their areas of strength. It's a shame that some people think academic talent does somehow make them superior people, but I'd rather encourage my child towards the character traits that we value as family. I'm not sure how I would recommend my child deal with blowhards. We tend to avoid them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids. My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived. The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her. I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear. My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.

There are plenty of smart kids not in AAP. That doesn't change the fact that AAP is for smart kids / kids who are naturally talented at academics / kids who test well / kids who are interested in the program / etc.

Just like there are plenty of good lacrosse players not on the "good lacrosse players" team. The kids on the "good lacrosse players" team are still good, however.

Agreed. So we can't say AAP is for smart kids? OK that's offensive. AAP is for kids who think differently? Offensive. For kids who do better with an altered curriculum? Offensive.

How about 'well AAP is a bloated program that haphazardly separates smart kids from other smart kids because their parents push for it?'

I get the sense that is the only description some parents here want to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

Puhlease! You know full well by saying to someone, especially a child, that you got this because it is for smart, quick moving academically, etc. kids, anyone would have to interpret it to mean that those NOT having those characteristics are in. Gen. Ed. If you really meant what you wrote, you'd then say that kids in Gen Ed. are equally smart, work fast, etc. I've personally heard AAP kids say things about how other kids aren't in AAP and they aren't smart enough 3 times, this year alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

Puhlease! You know full well by saying to someone, especially a child, that you got this because it is for smart, quick moving academically, etc. kids, anyone would have to interpret it to mean that those NOT having those characteristics are in. Gen. Ed. If you really meant what you wrote, you'd then say that kids in Gen Ed. are equally smart, work fast, etc. I've personally heard AAP kids say things about how other kids aren't in AAP and they aren't smart enough 3 times, this year alone.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids. My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived. The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her. I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear. My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.

There are plenty of smart kids not in AAP. That doesn't change the fact that AAP is for smart kids / kids who are naturally talented at academics / kids who test well / kids who are interested in the program / etc.

Just like there are plenty of good lacrosse players not on the "good lacrosse players" team. The kids on the "good lacrosse players" team are still good, however.

Agreed. So we can't say AAP is for smart kids? OK that's offensive. AAP is for kids who think differently? Offensive. For kids who do better with an altered curriculum? Offensive.

How about 'well AAP is a bloated program that haphazardly separates smart kids from other smart kids because their parents push for it?'

I get the sense that is the only description some parents here want to hear.

The original question deals with what to tell a child. Using words like smart, faster paced, test well, etc. sends a poor message to your child. I have a feeling that these parents who are practically drooling at the AAP label and acceptance will largely have a come uppance in years to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids. My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived. The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her. I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear. My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.

There are plenty of smart kids not in AAP. That doesn't change the fact that AAP is for smart kids / kids who are naturally talented at academics / kids who test well / kids who are interested in the program / etc.

Just like there are plenty of good lacrosse players not on the "good lacrosse players" team. The kids on the "good lacrosse players" team are still good, however.

The post asks what to tell a child. How would my child feel if she asked why there were kids who always meet in classroom b on Wednesday mornings and I said that the pretty girls are selected to go to those meetings, you think my 8 year old will think anything other than the non meters are not as pretty? You're delusional if that's what you're thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids. My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived. The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her. I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear. My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.

There are plenty of smart kids not in AAP. That doesn't change the fact that AAP is for smart kids / kids who are naturally talented at academics / kids who test well / kids who are interested in the program / etc.

Just like there are plenty of good lacrosse players not on the "good lacrosse players" team. The kids on the "good lacrosse players" team are still good, however.

The post asks what to tell a child. How would my child feel if she asked why there were kids who always meet in classroom b on Wednesday mornings and I said that the pretty girls are selected to go to those meetings, you think my 8 year old will think anything other than the non meters are not as pretty? You're delusional if that's what you're thinking.

"Non attenders"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart. Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb? Of course not. We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement. Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots. So no, I'm not telling my child she is "in" because she is smart. I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc. I'm using words like, "the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes. Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs. Period. That's it. If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.

I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (<9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because "the good lacrosse" kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere.

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated? Wow, poor things.

You must live in a sad world. Observing what person A is doing well takes absolutely nothing away from person B and doesn't even remotely imply that person B does not things well (even perhaps the same things!).

Puhlease! You know full well by saying to someone, especially a child, that you got this because it is for smart, quick moving academically, etc. kids, anyone would have to interpret it to mean that those NOT having those characteristics are in. Gen. Ed. If you really meant what you wrote, you'd then say that kids in Gen Ed. are equally smart, work fast, etc. I've personally heard AAP kids say things about how other kids aren't in AAP and they aren't smart enough 3 times, this year alone.

+100
I've heard comments like this through the years, and am hearing them again this year. A "friend" told DC that DC could be in AAP... if only DC would "grow a bigger brain and try harder". Imagine trying to explain that to a child. The ignorant comments some AAP kids make stem from one place: their parents and other AAP kids whose parents have also been telling them (probably from day one) just how superior (they think) their kids are.