Father passes away and leaves $ to grandkids...sibs are not following wishes....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

I agree. I think it is better to divide among first generation equally. But if person is insistent on leaving to grand kids as well this way is better. People shouldn't get more money just because they have more kids.

you're missing the point. the money was the father's to give. if he wants to divide it up among his grandkids that's his complete choice.

Of course it is his choice. In this case, the choice reveals an arrogant, foolish man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom died 20 years ago and my dad just recently passed away. He was a hard working man who accumulated a modest wealth through years of blood, sweat, and tears. He lived in a 1200 sq ft house (where he raised 4 kids), drove a 14 years old volvo and really instilled the value of a dollar in all of us. I am the only girl and have 3 older brothers. We were assuming the estate would be split 4 ways but its actually split in a completely different manner. One half of his estate goes to a very specific organization that had a very important role in my parents lives (about 900k) and the rest is divided 6 ways evenly to each grandchild (about 150k each grandchild) for college/job training/graduate school. Even though his will specifically says its for the grandkids 2 of my siblings took that money and spent it. One used it as a house downpayment and one used it to fund a new business get up. They both claim they will just replace the money when its time for kids to go to college. I am hurt and upset and feel like they are ignoring dads plan. DH is admit I keep quite and never bring it up and I know he is right but I can't get it off my mind! One of my siblings is especially bitter he didn't get a bigger share of the pie (only has one child) and wonders if the organization pressured him to give them money which is definitely NOT the case and I worry about him running his mouth and tainting the reputation of this organization. Has anyone experienced a completely different side of their siblings after the last parent dies? Im just really hurt and confused because I would of never guessed this behavior from them! Vent over, any advice greatly appreciated!

PS: I should state we are all done having children and have been for years and my Dad knew this so its not like possible future unborn grandchildren were left nothing.

1,800,000 total after all is said and done to be distributed as the estate. I assume that includes the sale of the house, contents, and 14 year old volvo. Unless a sib and family were living with him in the house [ or nearby and handling care etc or a sib is disabled ]I would assume the estate would be :
450,000 to each.

Does any sibling have 3 kids since that results in 450? And is that sibling closest geographically to the GP and have any involvement with the organization? Since OP is little sister and the brothers are older there might have been more going on than she knew. Just the math results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

what a moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

what a moron.

15 years later, he called it well. The 4 he left money for were homeschooled and maladjusted. They lack the skills to do anything beyond fast food. The rest of us have been very successful. He did leave his farm (and thus a livelihood) to be divided among 4 that were not given money. One died (my brother) and one cousin bought his brother out. Him and I own a farm together. Grandchild #9 is a crack whore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

You are an arrogant poster. The GF left it the way HE wanted to. He was not smart about creating a trust, however. YOU leave your money the way you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not like your brothers spent money left to their kids; it was money left to pay for their kids' college educations. In other words, it was to help THEM take care of their financial responsibility to pay for their children's education. See the difference?

I didn't realize though that this would be illegal. My mother stole money left to me by my dad. I was an adult. I never did anything about it. How would I pursue this?

The money was left for the grandkids. The PARENT had no legal right to take it and spend it. Parents are NOT responsible for paying for a child's college education. It's nice if they do, but not required.

The Parents committed a crime. Unfortunately, there is little you can do without going to court. We experienced this when my MIL died and her bf stole everything. Wasn't worth our time to pursue. But Karma is a bitch, because the bf lost his own $ (much more than if he had given DH his inheritance.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

I think this is really nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

You are an arrogant poster. The GF left it the way HE wanted to. He was not smart about creating a trust, however. YOU leave your money the way you want.

Well, we are discussing how this man handled leaving money and how the kids handled it thereafter. So I don't get your point at all PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

what a moron.

15 years later, he called it well. The 4 he left money for were homeschooled and maladjusted. They lack the skills to do anything beyond fast food. The rest of us have been very successful. He did leave his farm (and thus a livelihood) to be divided among 4 that were not given money. One died (my brother) and one cousin bought his brother out. Him and I own a farm together. Grandchild #9 is a crack whore.

I am sure that, as one of the beneficiaries, you are no short on reasons why that was the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

You are an arrogant poster. The GF left it the way HE wanted to. He was not smart about creating a trust, however. YOU leave your money the way you want.

Well, we are discussing how this man handled leaving money and how the kids handled it thereafter. So I don't get your point at all PP.

+1
Apparently nobody is allowed to say anything about how other people handle their money because, hey, it's theirs!

[Anonymous]

Very same thing happened in my family. The siblings/parents were all grown adults with college educations and most owned homes already when their father died. All of the grand kids (30 in total!) are now adults and everyone has turned out ok, but there has been resentment among the cousins. The grand kids whose parents spent the money are very jealous of those of us whose parents saved the money to pay for college/grad school/weddings/house downpayments or whatever. The parents who spent the money largely wasted it - spent on failing businesses, bought fancy houses that lost value in the market, blew it on cars etc. My grandfather knew they would waste the money, which is why he left it to the grand kids! My dad was very critical of his siblings but ultimately decided not to try to pursue legal action. The whole thing caused a big rift in the family anyway, and now it's spread to jealousy and unequal opportunity among the cousins.

Hard to say if you should try to pursue legal action. It might irreparably damage the relationship with your siblings. But left as it is, it's unfair to your nieces and nephews who will probably grow up to resent your kids. Good luck to you either way.

[Anonymous]

OP here...This thread took an interesting turn! I am not even remotely interested in taking legal action, I am just sad how it went down. I know its none of my business but am still bothered by it. All grandkids are under 18 and the parents were given the money to invest it (on behalf of the child) the best way we see fit. I think my Dad didn't specify beyond that or restrict siblings access to it because he would just naturally assume they would keep it for the grandkids as thats what was stated. I want to continue having an adult relationship with my siblings and my nieces and nephews but I am having a hard time watching how everyone has reacted to this money. Just disappointing all around. Thanks for the insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures.

what a moron.

15 years later, he called it well. The 4 he left money for were homeschooled and maladjusted. They lack the skills to do anything beyond fast food. The rest of us have been very successful. He did leave his farm (and thus a livelihood) to be divided among 4 that were not given money. One died (my brother) and one cousin bought his brother out. Him and I own a farm together. Grandchild #9 is a crack whore.

I am sure that, as one of the beneficiaries, you are no short on reasons why that was the right thing to do.

I received land, not money. I don't want land. I don't like paying the taxes on it. I don't like buying the equipment it needs. I do it because it was my grandfathers, it is important to the family, and I would like my kids to spend summer nights sleeping on a screened in porch one week a year. I would have preferred he left me nothing at all over the land. Having not received any of the money hasn't really affected my life in anyway. You can't miss what you never had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...This thread took an interesting turn! I am not even remotely interested in taking legal action, I am just sad how it went down. I know its none of my business but am still bothered by it. All grandkids are under 18 and the parents were given the money to invest it (on behalf of the child) the best way we see fit. I think my Dad didn't specify beyond that or restrict siblings access to it because he would just naturally assume they would keep it for the grandkids as thats what was stated. I want to continue having an adult relationship with my siblings and my nieces and nephews but I am having a hard time watching how everyone has reacted to this money. Just disappointing all around. Thanks for the insight.

It is your business because they took money from your kids college education without a legal guarantee to repay it back!